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jeandenis
07-13-2003, 08:49 PM
Hi,

I am currently finishing this piece:
alien/marine test (http://www.jeandenis.net/alientest.htm)

and of course welcome any feedback.
I know I have to work on the tail swinging and when the creature lands on the guy's shoulder there needs to be more weight.

Otherwise, fire away.
Thanks in advance
Jean-Denis
animate@jeandenis.net

gnarlycranium
07-13-2003, 09:00 PM
Please give some more guidelines as to what your intentions are with this piece, and what you want critiqued. Is this supposed to be realistic, unrealistic, comedic, or....?

With a creature the size of an Alien, leaping with that much energy, 'more weight' in this case would involve the Marine being flattened to the ground upon impact-- there's no way he'd stay up so well with the Alien perched on him like that. Keep it if you want the animation to be unrealistic. Otherwise, it needs to be changed.

The swimming movement through the water is too rapid. The initial leaping movement, though, looks good.

jeandenis
07-13-2003, 09:09 PM
Thanks for the questions:

this piece was a 10 second animation test for Insomniac Productions.
Now that I passed the test I am finetuning this piece, so it can be longer.

It should be realistic, but not too realistic. Yes, the weight should almost crush the marine, but I'm going to have him kneel to the ground and get a up a bit again (he's a strong marine...), and then being stabbed.

I didn't want to draw too much attention to the swimming, just so the audience notices that there was something, in order to keep a little surprise when the alien jumps out. But now I going to have the alien enter screen right, it won't just be there from the beginning.

As a second thing, although I am first an animator, I am also working on the sound, maybe someone has ideas or critique for that too, but that''s a bit outside this thread, I know.

Thanks again for the quick feedback.
Jean-Denis

gnarlycranium
07-13-2003, 09:15 PM
Actually, I'd been wondering about the sound-- it's not common to see an early WIP animation that's already got sounds laid into it that well. I'd say you did pretty darn good with those! That screaming is great, heheh.

The movement of the Alien dropping one foot to the ground seemed a little awkward to me-- maybe if it seems a bit more like it's doing so for balance, rather than climbing down off of the prey to line up for the head shot (which Aliens just don't seem patient or rational enough to bother with), that might work better.. especially if our burly but ill-fated Marine is trying to stand back up and being a generally unstable thing to stand on.

The burst of speed as the Alien is going through the water draws attention to it-- it might work better to have it quietly slithering along like an alligator, they do have the tails for that, and it's a movement that can travel fairly quickly while still looking subtle and lazy.

jeandenis
07-13-2003, 09:26 PM
I just love sound, I couldn't wait to add it in.

I heard that before, that it seems weird for the alien to step down like that, it looks like the alien is thinking too much. Which was actually my intention, I based this piece on Alien 4 (the swimming and the smart behaviour). But since nobody likes the fourth movie, I think I should base it more on the first two movies :-)

Good idea about the slow swimming, hmmm. But I think I will keep a "quick enty", would be a good contrast though, I might change that at the very end to see how it works.

Thanks again
Jean-Denis

gmask
07-13-2003, 09:30 PM
Just a note.. I found it annoying that half the clip is needless titles for a test clip.

Other than that the animation is pretty good..

jeandenis
07-13-2003, 09:36 PM
Haha, that's a first, thanks though.

I just wanted to set up the mood with music, but you're right.

I always do that :-)

Thanks
Jean-Denis

An Erased One
07-13-2003, 11:11 PM
It made me laugh when i saw it the first time, the alien's jump is very fast and comic - like. I don't know whether that is what it's supposed to look like or not, but a slower, "smoother" attack would be much more alien, now it looks like a guy in an alien suit.

jeandenis
07-13-2003, 11:17 PM
Although I am leaning towards a realistic approach, there are a few areas where I wanted to exaggerate it, like the jump speed, but thanks anyway.

Jean-Denis

gnarlycranium
07-14-2003, 10:12 AM
I wasn't sure if I should critique the whole clip or just the animation.... but I agree with gmask, that title segment is WAY too long.

jeandenis
07-14-2003, 05:30 PM
Once I put the finished piece on my reel there won't be long credits, I'll cut it.

Levitateme
07-14-2003, 05:33 PM
i think your animation is looking good, but i think its all real linear. like when the alien stabs the marine, it almost looks like they just pop into poses still. just i think it needs some overall more fluid motions.

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