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jinrai
07-12-2003, 01:09 PM
Hello everybody!
I'd love to hear Your comments,hints and suggestions on my first female charakter.I did this piece in Lightwave 7.5 and i just finished the head and shoulder area.
I'm doing this thing for my Portfolio.

Female charakter (http://www.jinrai.privat.t-online.de/fem.jpg)

Thanks for looking!

Soulstorm
07-12-2003, 02:48 PM
there are some smoothing errors: 2 on the back of the head and 1 near the shoulder

koroko
07-12-2003, 06:25 PM
Hi there,

Soulstorm, thats typical in lightwave to have it somewhere in a mesh, and normally doesnt show in the render, in fact the Taron head that comes with the prog. its full of them... :)


Jinrai, first thing, you´ve done a great job so far, wireframe is mighty clean. I´ve made a paintover on the smooth pics to show you what, in my opinion, could be improved there, minor stuff, actually just an stop below perfection... :)

I just hope you understand all the mess Í´ve done there :)


Keep updating its coming real nice....


play hard for your portfolio, we´re all on the same boat...


>------Paintover------< (http://webs.ono.com/koroko/paintover.jpg)



______
angel

jinrai
07-13-2003, 04:04 PM
Hello!
Here is an update of the my female character.I did some of the corrections that koroko suggested (thanks for these!) and i show the whole model as it looks at the moment.
All comments and critique is welcome.

http://jinrai.privat.t-online.de/face.jpg

http://jinrai.privat.t-online.de/fullbody.jpg

mefestofel
07-13-2003, 04:28 PM
Great model, very natural looking body. But I have a problem with the head. the scull seems too large at the top of the head. It might not look so strange if her face wasn't soo narrow, but as is the top of the head is way to big for that chin.

Can wait to see her finnished

huck
07-13-2003, 06:13 PM
Greeting jinrai,

Keep up the good work, as a whole you got a good model.
my comments on your wireframe with the womans head.
- the polygons around her jaw area might need to flow differently, originating around the mouth in a circular manner. You might find this a better way when creating morph targets for the mouth.

Also, my other comment is, even if its work in progress, you might want to set up your scene. I don’t mind nude models, but a nude model with pumps im not too sure about. There’s not enough female animators and artist in this field as is.

Cheers

gnarlycranium
07-13-2003, 10:08 PM
From the neck down, that's looking fabulous.

huck, I think the shoes are there for reference since the feet have to be modeled to fit on them.

Jinrai, if you're going for realistic proportions, though, her feet are much too small. A person's foot is usually the same length from heel to toe as their arm, from wrist to elbow. This foot seems only about 2/3rds that size.

For crits from the neck up, I can only concur what's already been said, and make a request for side and front views, and face wires if I'm to be able to give better crits.

huck
07-14-2003, 12:11 AM
Greetings gnarly,
Yes I realize the shoe are there for reference, I’m merely bringing up our conscious on being responsible artists in this public forum or anywhere else, this is just a reflection to everyone, including myself.

No offense to you jinrai, …its just a thought, …presentation is important, especially in this business. it would be good to see everyone here be successful in this profession!

Best regards

jinrai
07-14-2003, 04:58 AM
hello!
Thank you all for your comments so far.
I've overworked the face and i'm quite happy with it now and i would love you to have a look and comment.

http://www.jinrai.privat.t-online.de/lastface.jpg


@huck:I never meant to offend anyone with this model.It is a work in progress and i just happend to build the shoes the same time i was working on the feet ( i found some good reference pictures of some incredibly expensive Pradas).As soon as the body is ready i will do some little black dress for her, so there won't be a naked woman im pumps in my portfolio.


Cheers and thanks for looking

gnarlycranium
07-14-2003, 11:29 AM
When people make models of women wearing pumps, they nearly always end up including the shoes in the shot... otherwise everybody would be asking them why the model was on tiptoe, and the shoes need to be there for us to crit the shape of the foot on them. It's just a WIP, not a real presentation, so I wouldn't worry about it much. :shrug: (and I am a woman :) )


Thanks for those closer shots of the face, jinrai.

The main problem in the structure of the head is the brow ridge-- you've got a big bulge where the outer corner of the brow would be. Tip the head down so you're looking at it almost from a vertical viewpoint, and make sure the cross section of the head is nearly round, with no flat-looking portion with corners across the front. This is a common issue most head modelers get at some point or another.

The ears look just a TEENY bit too low to me, but that's pure nitpicking. Other than that, they're great, sticking out far enough and everything.

The lips seem to stick out too far from the surrounding face. I'm not sure what reference you're using, but usually the profile line above the upper lip is nearly straight, not with as pronounced a curve at the edge of the lip as you have here... though ethnicity can change that. The upper lip also tends to have a fairly steep angle back towards where the lips meet, and the lower lip fits behind it, in an overbite sense. I think if you scooted the upper lip in a little, tilted the curve of it to not puff out so much, and then blended the lower lip better below that and into the chin, she wouldn't look so much like her lips are sticking out.

If you're animating, the mesh around the mouth might give you troubles. I think things would work out better, and help you eliminate that nasty-looking area right in front of the ear, if you ran some of those rows of edges that go out from the nose and up over the cheek towards the ear DOWN, around the mouth, instead. When a person smiles or grimaces, the folds tend to run from the corner of the nose, to the smile line next to the mouth, to meeting on the chin underneath the mouth.

The density of lines going across the cheekbones and up over the ear is wasted in areas that don't move much, in a mesh laid out against the form the wrinkles of mouth movement will want to follow. You only have two loops that truly circle the mouth, and there are two poles in spots that are going to be awkward for animating-- they're right smack where the mouth will be doing a lot of movement, which is to be avoided.

huck
07-14-2003, 09:24 PM
hey no worries, I wasn't offended and i know you didn't mean for it to be, i was just merely concerned. In my experience working with clients and from art school many years back(presentation class), presentation means allot, pitching, previs, WIP or finished project ...just about selling your skills or product in the best way possible. That was the point. there are lots of people who won't understand so I just think its good practice to focus on presentation -client or in a forum. Only trying to help. My apologies that it was taken the wrong way. I probably could have used better words.

keep up the good work! love to see how it progresses!

your a star!
huck

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