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sarahhorner
03-30-2009, 03:18 PM
Hi everyone,

I was wondering if anybody could give me a critique of my work in progress please. Sorry that some of it is still in it's blocking stage :)

This piece is for my showreel so please feel free to be as critical as you like, I would really appreciate any feedback.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8Pohe3hCY8

Thanks in advance for taking the time to watch

Sarah

crisplet
04-01-2009, 06:11 AM
Hey Sarah

Good stuff so far:)

- the first attempt at opening the bottle doesn't read super well. It almost looks like he's just twisting it open (angrily) maybe try holding some of those "struggles" like you do on the second attempt
- also, give the shot some padding at the head, so everything reads.
- the hand wipe needs more exaggeration, it doens;t read well
- framing! use rule of thirds. two heads should be on their respective top third. (basically: widen, move cam up, and screen right)
- screen L guy's last pose is bad. It draws too much attn to the crotch
- screen R posing needs work. don't forget to oppose the hips and shoulders ie. L shoulder up > R hip up

sorry, that's kind of a lot. there's a LOT of good stuff here too. just keep at it. and keep posting your progress

Chris

(animators wear bras = Rad!)

sarahhorner
04-01-2009, 09:42 AM
Hi Chris,

Cheers for the great feedback! I knew the beginning was weak, but you've really pointed out some stuff I didn't realise :)

I'm definatley going to apply this to my next pass, thankyou ever so much for taking the time to write this critique, I really appreciate it.

Sarah

(animators wear bras = Rad!) 'tis indeed ;)

sarahhorner
04-01-2009, 09:52 AM
Hi Chris,

Cheers for the great feedback. I knew the beginning of the animation was pretty weak, but you've pointed out some things I didn't realise, which is really helpful.

I'm definatley going to apply your suggestions to my next pass, thankyou ever so much for taking the time to write this critique, I really appreciate it.

Sarah

Ps lol I see what you mean by the crotch thing now! *head palm*
PPs (animators wear bras = Rad!) 'tis indeed ;)
PPPs I'm sorry if this is a double post, something went wrong when I replied to this thread

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04-01-2009, 09:52 AM
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