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jjburton
07-05-2003, 06:54 PM
Greetings, fellow Wavers:)

I'm fixing to begin my first animated short for school and my teacher is letting me use Lightwave. I'm using a character of mine I've been dying to use for a while now in an animation, that is also my icon. I've been remodelling him to get him closer to my drawings, but at this point I'm working on the animatic. I'd like to get some feedback if you don't mind. Just for an explanation, when the fruit disappears and reappears in a different spot, I'm going to use the "bamf" effect that you guys have been playing with...

Anyway, here it is, critique away. Sorry for the crudeness of the drawings, modelling has been taking more of my attention:). I've got two endings I'm playing with.

"Much Ado About Breakfast" Animatic (ending 1) (www.jjburtonstudios.com/media/videos/animatic.mov)

"Much Ado About Breakfast" Animatic (ending 2) (www.jjburtonstudios.com/media/videos/animatic2.mov)

Steve Warner
07-05-2003, 10:27 PM
Hi JJ,

So far, your animatics look good. The main character looks interesting, with good expressions, and should be fun to animate. The idea behind your film revolves around a creature seeking food, finding it, and having it evade him. Once he catches it, it tastes bad. From there, he finds a new breakfast. The story is engaging until we come to the ending. Neither of the proposed endings presents a reasonable resolution to the conflict. In some ways, you'd be better off just ending with the character realizing that the food he sought was bad. In that sense, if you also make the food look so tasty that anyone would want a bite, the added effort and final outcome would present a sense of irony. It's not the perfect ending, but it seems like more of a logical conclusion. If you are set on one of the endings, I'd go with ending #2. But even then, the outcome was not entirely clear. Was the fish a new breakfast? If the creature is carnivorous, why is he after fruit in the first place? If he's not carnivorous, why did he look like he was after the fish?

I think you're on the right track here. But I'd like to see some other possible endings which would provide a more satisfactory resolution.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

Steve

jjburton
07-06-2003, 01:58 AM
Thanks Steve,

Agreed. I've just been stumped. I'm scratching the fish ending and working on something else.

Been modelling in the meantime. Here's an update on the remodeled Tiko from Moddeler:)

jjburton
07-06-2003, 09:42 PM
Changed the ending...pretty sure gonna do this one.

Rev 3 (http://www.jjburtonstudios.com/media/videos/animatic3.mov)

Again...appreciate any crits. Thanks.

kretin
07-07-2003, 02:53 AM
I like the fish ending, and the mouse ending... although it's a little confusing offering both options, is it underwater or on land?

For the mouse ending, I'd finish on a closeup of Tiko reacting to what the mouse has done...

jjburton
07-07-2003, 03:53 AM
Wow, the great Kretin:) (I love your work and can't wait for your book). Thanks for the input. I'm gonna play with your eye rig from your frog for exageration in parts.

About the story. None of them are set under water. Tiko just flies because he can. I thought a fish wouldn't be too big of a stretch). But maybe not.

Regardless of what I do, I gotta get moving on it. The short is due at the end of August and I've got other stuff in the class too. I'm about 75% done on the Tiko remodel and the set is done (not that it was too complicated;)). Animatic is due tomorrow in class.

webfox
07-07-2003, 08:14 AM
I like the apple most, though I like the mouse one, too. The apple ending shows that, though you'd think he'd learn, he hasn't, and there's the humorous potential for it all starting over again.

There's no explanation of why the mouse can easily get the fruit, though, so it left me wanting in the end.

The one with the fish swimming by at the end made the fruit being underwater seem odd and I liked that option least.

Good luck on your project. :thumbsup:

d4rk
07-07-2003, 08:26 AM
I can't seem to download any of them.

webfox
07-07-2003, 08:29 AM
Right click and "save as". His server takes a moment to start feeding them to you, and as they're MOV files, they don't start playing right away as soon as the new window opens. You just get a blank screen while you wait for them to show up. It only looks like they're not downloading, but they are.

I just saved them to my desktop before viewing and they worked fine.

jjburton
07-07-2003, 02:17 PM
Thanks Webfox, I think I'll dump the mouse and apple one to tape today and let the class help me decide which works.

Off topic, check your private message:)

D4rk, hope you got them. I've started using sorensen mov's cause some of my friends have trouble with DIVX movies. Sorry about that.

jjburton
07-10-2003, 10:02 PM
Quck update...test render and playing with the final look:)...

http://www.jjburtonstudios.com/media/images/work/images/MuchAdo/Tiko_Set_Test1.jpg

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