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randyspotswood
02-20-2009, 10:25 PM
This is the final for my Animation 1 class. I haven't learned rigging or anything like that yet. So there is a lack of people in the film.

It's a preview trailer for my Capstone project in 6 months.

Critique the crap out of it. Thanks!

Click Here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj51uu-Juc8) :beer:

randyspotswood
02-21-2009, 07:16 AM
anything that you guys can say about the video would be very helpful. I can take it, really... ha ha :bowdown:

Hydraah
02-21-2009, 09:42 PM
The camera movement between 1:00-1:08 felt a bit wierd. I'd say keep it a bit simpler.
And the last ship taking of at high speed. You could maybe add a bigger flash there, to make it look less twitchy.
And add stars to make it less empty :)

But yeah.. Work on your camera movement.

patconnole
02-21-2009, 10:42 PM
Sorta has that 'kid in a candy store' feel, like you've got some lens flare, glow fx on the ships' exhaust, etc. It's a lot of frames, with not much content. Makes me wonder if you're trying to tell a story, showcase animation, get good at camera work, all of the above, or what? I guess it just lacks focus. Every shot should have a purpose, and overall, I can't tell what the purpose of any of it is. The titles have a nice look though.

randyspotswood
02-21-2009, 10:50 PM
well it supposed to tell a story, but I do see what your talking about. I am already working on a revision for it. That is very good advice.

As for the camera at 1:00 to 1:08 I was trying to make that camera seem like it was struggling to keep up with the ship as it maneuvered back and forth.

Overall it's supposed to be a trailer for a longer short film. minus the rigged animation of bipeds. (since I haven't gotten that far yet).

Thank you so much for the advice. It's really nice to have.

Wiro
02-22-2009, 07:24 PM
I realise that you need to show milestones when in class and as you say this is your first year reel. But as a professional reel (and since you're studying this, I have to assume you eventually want to apply for a job) I'll have to be harsh and say this will probably have to be scrapped and started over with. I'll sum up a few things you should pay more attention to but I also wanted to urge you to, if possible, drop the idea of a short film and instead concentrate on a number of shorter, unrelated pieces. It'll be far more interesting on your reel than 5 minutes of the same space battle and a few aliens thrown in.

- Glows everywhere. It's all I can see. And not only that, the glows twitch on and off. They are massivly distracting and would definitely not look like that.

- lack of attention to detail. There is absolutely no sense of scale to the ships. The textures are really basic (or were some of them not even textured?). The planets have a simple opacity-mapped atmosphere. Where are the stars?

- twitchy camera work. There is no weight to the camera. It goes all over the place. Ask yourself if a real camera could ever do that and if so, how? Cameras follow the rules of physics too, they accelerate and decelerate and have momentum.

Sorry for the harsh crits. CG is a huge medium with lots of ground to cover. Keep it up!

Wiro

randyspotswood
02-23-2009, 12:18 AM
that isn't harsh at all, I was told by one of my contacts in the industry they same thing about the scrapping of the short film.

I have changed the "earth" model to a more photorealistic version.

I am currently working on the new material meshes for the ships.

I will also watch a few movies that have ships in them and pay much closer attention to the camerawork.

I am actually working on animating a monkey right now, when I get it done i'll post it again and let you guys rip it apart.

It really does help alot to have people tell me what is wrong with it. Makes things look better in the long run.

thanks alot!

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