little movie

[DZL]

phite -

i think you have the wrong forum. this is for finished work, and this project is not finished. this, at best, looks like an animatic - a really roughly modeled/textured/animated - used in films (a moving storyboard, if you will) to get timing of animation and shot selection ideas.

the concept is a good one, and the modeling/texturing isn't bad, but there are a few things that i have to comment on:

animation:

it looks like the mouse slides across the table at the beginning, there are no footsteps, except i noticed the front paws are fluttering at the very end. there is no sense of weight, that is to say, he floats across the table and doesn't move like a mouse. then he slides down the cord in about 2 frames. it's much too quick, to jerky to appear close to real. it would help to study how a mouse walks/moves and try and mimic this.

texturing: pretty good - the drill looks good - it looks worn, which is a good thing. as for the backgrounds - all i see is orange. i like orange, but not this much.

lighting: shadows are missing in the first shot. shadows are not dark enough in the rest of the shots.

compression: this avi is huge. 20megs? that is way too big for a 30 sec movie. aftereffects or premiere have much better compression, and divx is also another popular compression format.

anyhoo - thats my 2 cents. i hope this was constructive and you can use some of this criticism and advice....

[phite]

Ouch! Real advice/feedback was what I've been looking for, I guess I finally found it.

Yes, as I stated earlier, he first turnaround was unsuccsessful; I placed too many frames, and the program dropped them; the result: all the limbs movements are gone and he slides around. I learned to place fewer frames as I went along, but in the end I don't think that I had the chaacter properly rigged.

Thanks for the feedback on the textures and the rest; the peice was lightened considerably for video, and I hadn't really thought that I'd completely lost tonality and shadows. That's interesting. I've noticed on some moniters (laptops particularly) that the display is very light. I don't know how to balance that against the darkening problem with video. Any suggestions?

And.. there is a compressed 2mb download.
Thanks

[lildragon]

Also learn to read the gallery rules are next time it'll be deleted. Moving to WIP.

-lild

[phite]

I did read the rules. Can you please clarify?

[phite]

Someone clue me in. This was submitted to 'finished works'. The moderater lil'dragon bumped it to WIP with only a threat that I should read the rules or be deleted. I re-read the rules, and my surmise is:"Images that are clearly Work-In-Progress will be moved to the WIP forum. " Does this peice bite so much I should never show it as a finished peice? Be frank. I'd hate to show it to a potential employer if it's really that bad.

[lildragon]

As mattconway said this piece isn't finished, it is an animatic honestly, and he detailed the problems in the animation quite well.

Off the record it wasn't a threat there's a thread on the very top of the gallery forum (2 in fact) about naming your threads appropiately, what is "little movie?". So instead of deleting the thread along with Matt's comments I left it and placed it here where you can develop it alot further.

Does this peice bite so much I should never show it as a finished peice? Be frank. I'd hate to show it to a potential employer if it's really that bad.

Please read matt's comments.

salud

[phite]

Sorry I don't get it. I still think its' a little movie. But anyway..enough of that.

The requirement for this project was to make a story in 30 seconds (not including credits).

Does that help explain its' abbreviated nature? I found that to be challenging.

[Pufferfish]

hmm... Not sure if others can decide for you when your work is finished...we dont know your goals or anything, but I think here's been a little misunderstanding going on...

Originally posted by phite
...(is this the right place to do this?) I got better as it went along (yeah, the first turn-around sucks) Input would be great!...
by saying that it gave me the exact same feeling... I too tought you were still modifying your work.

My honest opinion (I suck what comes to animating things) is that you really should do some more work with this movie. If you think some parts suck in your movie, I think you are giving up if you dont fix them :) ...and it is very hard to get job with this.. well I dunno but I think so. There are so many good animators around here.

It is quite hard to impress anyone these days.

And remember, dont take it personal what answers or critics you get Phite :) Good luck animating, we are all here to learn :)

[phite]

Hmmm. I don't really beleive in unlimited re-working, mostly because we don't have that luxury in real life jobs. This was an exercise and it's done. It's my first animation and it's pretty rank. But is animation all that anyone here is interested in?

I was trying to do something different with the pallet, lighting and textures than the same old CG we always see here (do most begining animations even have environments?). But either I'm not getting that across or the audience is not interested. (?)

Obviously I'm dissapointed. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond.

[Pufferfish]

Of course there isn't unlimited re-working possibilities in real life jobs, but there isn't fantasy world jobs either ;) (actually ..I bet there is..heh)

You said "I don't think that I had the chaacter properly rigged."
You said "(yeah, the first turn-around sucks) "
You said "I'd hate to show it to a potential employer if it's really that bad"

...well...?

I aint saying it's that bad.. it is hell of a lot better character animation than I've ever done. The music suits it well, it is fun to watch, nice modelling too, some nice elements there that makes the mouse feel like mouse ..and the story is good for 30sec clip.
...and most of all it is your first which makes it even better.

Good luck to you :)

[ctaborda]

I suggest that if you post something just bare to the critiques..
if not don't even post, and not with that attitude of " I ain't changing nothing "..

To Tell you the truth it looks like you did this in a rush, the animation is really really really bad, I dont see any effort in this, something like in a rush, the mouse looks way too squared, and well the worst part is the animation, for example when the rat moves to the "thing" because it doesnt look like a Nut, well, what it has magical flying powers?, there is no proper walking, anything.. and when he goes down using the cable, hey man that was way too fast, you obviously did this for the lack of knowledge, but if you know you are not doing it well, then at least accept critiques and apply what people tell you to your work because that is the way to learn.

Don't post anything if you don't want crits about it, its very childish.

[phite]

Thanks to both of you; an encouragement (I needed it) and a critique ( I'm ready for it) I'm going back to the drawing board because I am a beginner, I can see I have so much more to learn.

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