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tommygun67
06-25-2003, 01:15 PM
Hi, could i get some feed back on this piece. I am looking for a crit on the whole thing but in particular the animation. Don't hold back.

720x450 version
http://www.moorex.force9.co.uk/tom/savingfatty720by450.avi

240x150 version
http://www.moorex.f9.co.uk/tom/savingfatty240by150.avi

Pics:

http://www.ickystuff.co.uk/t_running.jpg

Thanks

Tom

keithlango
06-26-2003, 03:22 AM
Fun stuff.
There's a few places where the weight of the fat guy isn't reading too well. Specifically when the skinny guy catches him and lifts him up. Also, the fat guy could use some more squasH & stretch to help sell his weight. Overlapping fat would be technically a pain, but would also go a good way to help sell that.

The part where the skinny guy's eyeballs are on stalks and looking at some panel didn't read clearly at all. I had to watch that 2 or 3 times to get that. So look at your staging and pacing in there to make sure that's clear.

The initial staging of the fat guy on the bungee cord near the fan (before the sandwich gag) doesn't do a good job of showing his situation. Get a bit more sideways on that to show how that whole thing is rigged. It will make it easier to understand the action that comes after.

On occasion your skinny guy's holds, anticipations and pose hits are swimmy. Look at your f-curves and thighten those down some so you get rid of that overlappy swimmy feeling. The moving holds in particular are very even. Meaning the extreme of the hold is kinda melted into in a very linear, even fashion over the length of the hold. Instead, try to cheat that towards the front. For example, set a key for the body somewhere near the end of the moving hold. then take that key and slide it somewhere towards the front of the moving hold. Now you have a bit more of a fast in/slow out to the hold, getting rid of that obvious CG animation problem of super even moving holds.

From a story stand point, it's fairly simple, which is good. Better to do something simple very well than to try and bite off more than you can chew. Some of the humor seemed "easy" (burps, farts, blood, etc) but hey, it's a short cartoon and I can let that stuff slide if the rest is done well.

Fun stuff. Hope you enjoyed making it. :)

-k

tommygun67
06-26-2003, 01:09 PM
Thanks Keith for your crits, in terms of the animation crit i was thinking the same thing, thats good advice and i'll work on it in the future, i'm an admirer of your work and tips from you go along way. I agree with pretty much all you've said, there are many problems with it but we all have to work to deadlines and it came out quite well. Hope your new jobs going well. Thanks again.

Thanks also to eric for your comments.

Please keep them coming if anyone else has anything to add, it would be very welcome.

soulhill
06-26-2003, 01:27 PM
I would have liked to see more variation in the character animation. There were too many, pose, flash to the next pose, type animations. Used judiciously that sort of thing can produce a nice result, but used too frequently they make the rhythm feel redundant.

The facial animations, especially on "Fatty" were not reading at all.

Also, it seems inappropriate to use music from Schindler's List . It is probably not a great idea to use music you don't have the rights to. In this case, because of the very loaded subject of the movie from which it is derived, you could find yourself alienating people from whom you hope to find work.

tommygun67
06-26-2003, 01:41 PM
again these are valid points, much appreciated. Good point about the music, its obviously not intended to offend but i can see how it might.

Thanks

Tom

Dave Black
06-26-2003, 02:46 PM
I thought it was pretty cool overall. I agree with the weight issues. I also could'nt help but feel as though the lighting was really flat. The colors were overall a bit too saturated too.

Little nit picky thing: It looked as though the relective tile flooring in the 2nd cut is not anti-aliased.

-3DZ

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