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View Full Version : Plz crit some of my works (WIP for Reel)


f_jo
12-27-2008, 10:33 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGNBAMrtynQ
somersault final, rendered


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zga4QMfRnKY
sexual harassment act final, rendered

ajfrank
12-28-2008, 05:04 PM
Well since you took the time to critique my work I'll critique yours.

I honestly cant find much wrong with the somersault. I'm not a gymnast nor do i have any reference near me so i cant critique it to hard. The only noticeable thing i see is that his upper body is stiff during the run. You need to add some upper body, or at the least shoulder, rotation.

The walk cycle can use some work. He's very stiff, jerky and robotic. Once again, he needs some upper body counterrotation(twist).
-His legs seems to be wobbling during the walk. I dont know whats causing it, but it's happening.
-You should also push your ups and downs more. It look like it's not even in there.
-His hands are too stiff. They're still stuck in the "t-pose" pose. And his arms and hands dont have any follow through. Instead of swinging naturally, they look like they're hitting a mark
-His hips also seems to be stiff too. Hard to tell if you have any twisting rotation but if you do, it's no enough. I know it's a dude but naturally everybody hips twist when walking.

Thats all I have now. Hope I helped.

f_jo
12-29-2008, 01:46 PM
Thanks for the input man.

Anyone else?

f_jo
12-30-2008, 04:45 PM
fixed the somersault run, fixed upper body, adding much things going on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwqSaESxQbU

Still not satisfied on the whole sequence tho, I'll polish it furthermore.

uploaded a new video :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxFWECrfPiM

dumping the "big trouble" acting sequence. Left it for two days working on other sequence and when I take a look again I really hate it. Currently I don't have any idea how to polish or make it further interesting yet. So keeping this and working on polishing other sequence until I get an idea.

pardon the crappy quality, I failed uploading anything bigger than 5 mb. Maybe I'll re-upload it later.

Critiques plz? Thanks in advance.

SkyZero
12-30-2008, 05:41 PM
Cool work man! I think for the somersault, it might help to have him settle at the end when he stands up. Also maybe more offseting at the end. Almost feels like most of it comes to a stop at the same time. When he stands up, maybe try having him push off his hand more to stand up? Right now it looks like he just stands up. Keep it up man!

Littleberu
12-30-2008, 05:55 PM
Good work man! I also used Dodgeball for my acting piece, hehe!

Also, one thing I noticed in the somersault is the way he runs before the jump is quite even. He should accelerate or have bigger steps in anticipation to the jump.

f_jo
12-30-2008, 06:12 PM
thanks guys... great pointers. Seems like those are the problems...

yea I don't like the getting up part and the run seems static... let's see what I can do for the run acceleration...

f_jo
12-31-2008, 05:57 PM
done with "sexual harassment" clip... I'm quite satisfied with it... but I'm still open for critics for this one. I'm sure there're still alot of room for improvements. Do not hesitate to be harsh with me.

I'll just update my first post with the links.

... re-doing the somersault...

BTW happy new year for all of you!!!

f_jo
01-02-2009, 02:44 PM
updated the links, uploaded sexual harassment and somersault, revised and rendered. They are both final. I've noticed the glitch on the later frames on somersault. will fix that.

Acceleration, would took a while. And I think the clip would took longer than it should with run acceleration. Tried couple of times so I drop the idea. Also the get up I experiment on myself couple of times, the hand don't do much to push the body upwards.

I added antic and jump before he grabs the obstacle.

... on to the next sequence...

Comments? critiques?

f_jo
01-14-2009, 12:18 AM
A new WIP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1UbXnQmUhw

comments & suggestion?

f_jo
01-16-2009, 02:39 PM
Kind of tired doing the act and I havent found any good idea to develop it further. Goes to the next one instead and kind of liked how its turn out. Still WIP tho.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dhSwWaJQtg

Comments/suggestion/critics?

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