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JenC
12-21-2008, 05:15 PM
here's the work i'm currently working on, it's a commission for a detroit based rap label.
i'm somehow not confident with it, but i don't know what exactly i should change.
so please tell me your thaughts and crits. thanks in advance!

http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/2241/screenie05lx6.jpg

chadjellis
12-21-2008, 11:46 PM
As a logo for a cd label, there are several things that i feel that are missing. "Frontlyne" is secondary to the character on top. Its really hard to read, and if i didnt already know that this was a logo, i may have completely avoided the word entirely. If i were you i'd make the word pop more by giving kerning the letters a bit more, adding more legibility.

i also see that you are trying to pass the letters as being a solid concrete material as well. it has the color of brick, with no individual bricks. maybe by adding bricks or changing the color to more gray concrete color, perhaps with reebar structure coming through, it might read as something that we can identify with, such as a war torn brick wall or a decaying concrete wall, but as of now its slightly ambiguous.

the typography itself could be the logo, able to stand on its own, and the character on top could be simply an added design for this particular cover or an allegory to the rap artist/s. the character is a cool idea, and has a lot of possibilities as far as labels to come.

what are the white blobs that are hovering around him? i have a feeling its a sketch for placement of something to come, but i'm not sure what.

the character itself has some anatomy issues, small feet and short legs are the most obvious to me.

you've got a good direction going, and i'm curious to see what you come up with. as a graphic designer myself, these problems are fun to me. keep it up.

JenC
12-22-2008, 10:56 AM
first, thanks for the reply!

i agree on your point that the word frontlyne is too hard to read. i think i'm going to make them a little brighter, so they better pop out of the black backround. and maybe i could bulge them, so it's clearer for the viewers eye that those are letters.

to your second thaught: the letters were actually not meant to be made of brick or concrete, but iron ore, thats also the reason for the metallic glint on their top. but your idea of reebar coming out of concrete is great, since that would match the idea behind the figure standing on them much better.

your're right that the typography should be able to stand on it's own, but this is how the client wanted it to be. in fact adding stone letters was my idea, to create a linking between the figure and the label name.

those white blobs are just white places where i can pick up white color when painting the light areas on the soldier. so since this is just a wip, these will be gone in the final version ;-)

thanks for the hint with the anatomic problems, that was something i always had in mind, but i din't know exatly what it was. you're right the legs are way too short, and i think also his left arm since the left hand is on the same height as the right one, even though his right arm is bended.

JenC
12-22-2008, 01:53 PM
here's an improved version:
http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/412/screenie06ym2.jpg
i used a impact font as a mask for the Frontlyne layer and lightened it up with the burn tool. this had the effect that it looks like corroded metal now, but i'm quite happy with that. i love those happy accidents :)

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