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View Full Version : Chaos - Work In Progress


Reeder113
10-31-2008, 07:01 PM
This is still a work in progress. I'm still blocking out the last part and trying to decide how I want the end to play out, so if you have any good ideas, send 'em my way por favor. Everything before "Oooooh, Daddy..." is pretty much finished, except for some of the finer secondary animation. Any suggestions? Thanks!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWwCSF-56JM


Reed

Reeder113
11-03-2008, 07:16 PM
No takes? I could really use some help on this one. What can I do better? I could also use some ideas for poses on the last section (unfinished part). Thanks.

kukart
11-03-2008, 07:23 PM
Emotions are here -) Try to render yours character, imho

Frogman
11-03-2008, 09:22 PM
Wow - this is a long scene - good work so far. I'll go through and see what I see...

Everything up to "Ooo Daddy" is reading well. For the ending, I would re-think the staging and poses - it isn't reading that well. Instead of having him go away from the camera with his back to us, why not bring him closer and change his attention. The first part, he is speaking to another person... The second part, he is acting. You can direct the scene so that when he is delivering the first lines (like you have it now), his attention is on one place (who he is speaking to), then during the acting he might be looking... More up and screen left, while squatting lower (for example).

This would be a great area to contrast his action as well - try keeping your poses tighter in the beginning dialogue. The character's hands are always really loose. I think you're just over animating things a bit. Think moving holds. Try pulling back on the pantomime in the beginning and push it in the end.

Another area to look at is the twinning in your poses. Try turning off your lighting and render out your keys as black silhouettes or just scrub between them. In several of the poses you’re getting tangents to the body/head with his hands. See if you can push the poses to get stronger silhouettes and a bit more asymmetry.

The movement in the arms/hands feels even as well. You can add so much texture to the piece by breaking up your timing.

On the first move line, wait a bit to move your arms. The shot starts in and he is already in motion and it is a bit floaty. (I like the snappiness you’re getting in the rest of the shot)

I think you could move the camera in to make this a mid shot. There is not a lot of full body action and it lets the audience get closer to the character (emotionally as well as visually).

This is not necessary, but a bit more movement on the character's feet (stepping around a bit more), would emphasize the neurotic nature of the character.

It is coming along just fine - keep working away and it will turn out great.

Reeder113
11-03-2008, 10:55 PM
Wow - this is a long scene - good work so far. I'll go through and see what I see...

Everything up to "Ooo Daddy" is reading well. For the ending, I would re-think the staging and poses - it isn't reading that well. Instead of having him go away from the camera with his back to us, why not bring him closer and change his attention. The first part, he is speaking to another person... The second part, he is acting. You can direct the scene so that when he is delivering the first lines (like you have it now), his attention is on one place (who he is speaking to), then during the acting he might be looking... More up and screen left, while squatting lower (for example).

This would be a great area to contrast his action as well - try keeping your poses tighter in the beginning dialogue. The character's hands are always really loose. I think you're just over animating things a bit. Think moving holds. Try pulling back on the pantomime in the beginning and push it in the end.

Another area to look at is the twinning in your poses. Try turning off your lighting and render out your keys as black silhouettes or just scrub between them. In several of the poses you’re getting tangents to the body/head with his hands. See if you can push the poses to get stronger silhouettes and a bit more asymmetry.

The movement in the arms/hands feels even as well. You can add so much texture to the piece by breaking up your timing.

On the first move line, wait a bit to move your arms. The shot starts in and he is already in motion and it is a bit floaty. (I like the snappiness you’re getting in the rest of the shot)

I think you could move the camera in to make this a mid shot. There is not a lot of full body action and it lets the audience get closer to the character (emotionally as well as visually).

This is not necessary, but a bit more movement on the character's feet (stepping around a bit more), would emphasize the neurotic nature of the character.

It is coming along just fine - keep working away and it will turn out great.

Great critique! I appreciate your ideas and will consider them. Thanks for taking the time. I'll post an update soon.

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11-03-2008, 10:55 PM
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