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koshey
10-29-2008, 04:47 AM
Here's a little project i am working on for my demo reel. It's still a way from done but i would appreciate your critique, if you can please.







http://vimeo.com/2392547

DevIII
10-30-2008, 05:01 AM
your definitely getting the jaw motion down, now its time for the lips.

at this stage i would start thinking about the body a bit more too. watch your fingers and shoulders, hip rocking the second and tertiary details.

good start.

the title says splines is the referring to the facial rigging? or something else?

towards the end I'm getting some snapping it might be vemo, but you should check the key's.

I dig your well thought out decision to film your self acting, but some of the motion seems out of place or forced through. re-thinking the acting wouldn't hurt. if you dont, this should still make for a great study.

koshey
11-05-2008, 08:48 AM
Updated with frame counter and another pass at timing (for the whole thing) + some changes in poses on the frames 300+ to get better silouette. Please critique.

Please comment critique


To Do: Try around snappier timing around 75-110 on torso. Have a pass at shoulders/fingers/hips + eyes. The timing at the end is a mushy and the head at 390+ is a bit too much perhaps ?

Devlll the title referred to a stage of my my work process. Usually i have blocking done on stepped keys to get the rough timing, then i go spline for a first pass.

Frogman
11-05-2008, 03:04 PM
Hey koshey,

I looked at both versions you had posted and I think you are losing some good things you had going in the (Rhinoes_2(no_step_at_the_end)) video. Mostly I think what you're dealing with here is the transition for blocked to spline. I big thing will be to get a handle on breakdowns.

First off, my favorite bit of work in this - (old video) - after he says the second "Rhinos.." you have some nice little steps there and head work there - him leading with the head on the turn is great - the head really seems to be the character's power center in this. Try and get what you had going on here in the newer video (which I'll go onto now).

A couple things .. these are big broad things but I think you should tackle them before pushing on much further.

Really define your key poses - his voice work can really lead you here.. strong accents and forcefulness in the dialogue. the character should feel like this.. Be thinking about power and force the whole time you're working with him. Think gorilla - if you can find some video reference of gorillas or have a zoo nearby go see them. They heavily lumber.. and then lurch with amazing force and power.

Okay..back to the key poses.. one on the first "Look", second "Rhinos", "Cowards!", and finally boxes. If these aren't where you think they should be, that is fine - just focus on the poses that tell his story.

On Timing/Spacing - the motion is all fairly even so things are looking floaty & light. Remember that the computer is both a great and horrible inbetweener. It only does what you tell it to - so make sure that you are telling it to the right thing. Once you get in your poses, think about your breakdowns - these inbewteen poses will define the spacing in the action and your arcs. He is powerful forceful guy- so fast forceful actions, long settles, and overlap.

I would love to see him thrust back over to the bars on "The cowards!" - Think about the contrast in the dialogue and how you can really emphasize that in the action. You have some good ideas here - like how still and calm he gets on "We should take away".. good acting choice. So push the poses, figure out the timing, really define your breakdowns, and think power - think weight.


Hope the critique is helpful - Can you put a big frame counter in the upper right corner for your next update?

koshey
11-10-2008, 10:35 AM
Updated. Did some work to better define keys and break up the timing. Worked on frames 1-190. Next i want to fix mushy mushy timing on the around the "Fools" bit. Wondering what to do with the fist, even though it does not intersect with the bars i think it detracts from the animation going through like that(and most likely mucking around with timing/cleaning up curves will not change it going through the bars). Thoughts ? Also thinking on what should i do with the left hand dipping into the ground around "our enemies" (103-132). I have a few choices of either stopping it before the ground by character's muscle force. Having drop on the ground or may be also do the fist like the other hand ?


Oops: Totally didn't notice i am out of safe. Well i'll reframe it a bit



Comments/Critique/Opinions please ?

Rusch
11-10-2008, 01:39 PM
I really enjoyed that it's a great little clip, I think some of the actions that your using to emphasise words are part of the characters thought process. When your acting it out the words and actions are occuring at the same time (as you know what your going to say). When you talk passionately, making things up as you go along this dosen't happen so much as your thoughts and expressions are faster than your mouth. If you use some actions to lead the dialogue it may seem a bit more natural. An example of this, http://www.area-56.de/projects/interview_with_carl_hawkins.mov . Hope this helps.

koshey
11-17-2008, 12:47 PM
Another update worked on many things here. Please critique.

koshey
11-23-2008, 06:48 PM
Another update. Please let me know if this looks better or any areas to improve on.

Frogman
11-25-2008, 12:03 AM
Koshey,

I think you're getting some good things going on in your animation - now just PUSH it.

The action is smooth - no more pops and glitches going on and it looks like you're trying to work in your poses. What it really seems to be lacking is contrast in action - here are some areas where you can really push the timing.. these you'll want faster action, overshoots, and longer settles.

10 - 29 - see how much speed you can get in the move and still make it work.. try an overshooting him up and left (going further than you want him to hit in the final pose and pulling back). Push (exaggerate) your arc on the head.

73-120 - nice arc in the action here, but swing him though it quicker, overshoot down and settle up and right. You can get contrast here between the head speed and arm speed with how fast they come down and how long they take to settle.. maybe let his head/body take longer to come to a stop and have the fists quicker.

119 - I think you should really work in this pose - hold him low a long as you can before transitioning to the metal boxes pose.. the lines here really suggest a disgust deep in his gut.. keep him low and draw on that tension.

228 - Contrast baby! Woooo.. but he goes stiff though the arm. You want to hold the pose without letting the character become a statue. Moving holds and overshoots are your friend (though don't get loosy goosy here).

I like the accent action on the last line.. it reads perfectly.

Some other fun:

113 - man I love how you take his knuckle to the ground... think you can take a step with the fist (put it down at 164) so he can knuckle walk a bit?.. so..left foot step.. knuckle down step.. right leg step. It would be a nice succession of action and some subtle flair to the animation...just think about the weight shift.

THE FOOLS!!! - You have the nice lurch and his right foot slides a bit (that isn't working so well). But how about three quick steps or even a knuckle walk over.. like a little charge back to the fence.. then you can have thoughtful stroll back to screen right while he is doing his "we..sigh.. we should take away" line. You want him thinking here.. that is what the pause is between the we.. and we should take away.. the pause is the character internalizing (or appearing to think about it to sell his idea better). The first part of the line he is talking more to himself anyways.. it is another good are you can bring contrast into the work to match the contrast in the dialogue.. internal vs external... action vs stillness.. fast vs slow.. big vs subtle..

Hands.. apart from building really strong poses, I have so much trouble with creating deliberate hand action.. this piece is lacking there.. you need the hands to be deliberate when he is posing and talking. The hands are like sidekick characters.. make sure they are alive though the whole piece (albeit sometimes at rest). Act out the scene and see what you do with your hands.. don't think about it.. just act it out and then analyze what you do. It really helps.

Keep up the good work! I'm glad this is going so well for you.

koshey
12-01-2008, 04:16 AM
Updated with lots of new changes hope to get some good critique

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