WIP - Crescent - need help adding story elements...

[CybrGfx]

Resize your image. Gotta present this in the same manner as everyone else...

~C

[rluto77]

Resized and added a few closeup pics. Sorry about that, not sure what I was thinking.

[CybrGfx]

The perspective and proportions of this piece are too inconsistent, and quite honestly very, very little of your concept is coming across by looking at this. Rather than adding any more elements you should consider simplifying those elements you have so that the focus of the story is more evident...

Now, beyond the compositional issues, you have some very obvious rendering mistakes that are hurting this work. Your lighting is inconsistent, and coming from 6-7 different directions. The little moon looks like a sticker someone put on top of your picture. Some parts are overly detailed, such as the grass in the corner, while other parts are too sloppy and crude, like the sad bits of greenery on the top branches (How did the tree get so big with so few, and so short, and so sparse of branches and leaves to feed it???

Skill-wise, the tree and RH corner are the best part of this, and show that you have some good skills for depth and modelling. You just need to work at conveying your storyline in a much simpler manner.

~C

[rluto77]

The tree is actually the part that I've worked the least on and I planned to remove the green moss before posting this but forgot to, it won't be included. Also I plan to make it more proportional.

As far as the lighting goes, I agree, I was originally going to have a second orange light source coming in from the right side, I've decided to scratch that and focus on just the blue light of the one moon.

I have also scrapped the second moon and will be simplifying my approach to the sky. I've also decided to move the path in the right hand corner up a bit and show it leading down into the forest instead of out of the bottom of the frame.

As always, thanks for the crits Cyber!

[shapemaster]

hi!

well, the colours are way too saturated for a nightscene and its too bright. you should try tone it down and desaturate it or maybe even start with almost black silhouettes and then work up to the highlights.
the perspective is a complete mess, especially on the right side where there should be a horizon line ... it looks like its located at the end of the world plate. furthermore, due to perspective issues the fore and background dont read as one painting, its as if 1 pic was pasted onto another. it is possible in nature for such a hill to exist, but compositional-wise its very awkward. try relating the two layers to one horizon line.
another problem is the texture. it is way overdone and it seems like ure using the smudge tool excessively. know that it doesnt have to be very detailed to look realistic. nr one element you should pay attention to is value, then comes colour. texture is only for accentuation and besides, you cant win against a camera. if you want absolut realism why not just shoot some photos?
and yeah ... the city is hard to recognize as such, i know its a fantasy scene, but you have to somehow make clear that its a city. again, youre ignoring values, which are most important and you use a very symbolic house design. a square and a (pyramid?), most houses arent that simple ... just look at some photos and youll understand.
no need to say anything further on the small moon, have to agree to C.
i think this painting has great potential, you just need to correct some elements that are crucial for a decent painting. the sky looks great, no real need to change anything beside the moon.
simplification is the key, less is more (or however you say it in english :D).

[rluto77]

I have been fighting with the composition for days and days and days. I've given up on it and just needed to make sure it wasn't just me who thought it looked off.

I have decided to completely get rid of the river, city, and second moon. Instead i'm turning my pointed hill in the right hand corner into a more traditional looking hill and raising the path along the bottom right so that I can show it leading down into the woods which I am going to repaint.

I have also cut off the left hand portion of the canvas since it was generally wasted space.

I will be posting a pic of all the changes and repaints by this time tomorrow to get your opinions. Thanks again.

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