CCM 261 Beginning and Middle

[KillaRilla]

cool artwork nicole, i didn't have the pleasure of taking this class, nor am i an animator, so im not sure how valuable my feedback will be, anyways things i think could be improved..

for one the perspective on the opening of the water bottle in the begiining image seems off, i may be wrong, the far leg of both the character and the monster in the second image seem a little off, drapery could use a little work, and i dont know what Taylor asks for in terms of texturing, but it seems a little light, possibly some more could be done on the rocks to give them more weight. Awesome drawing though, and cool characters!

-Jeff

[timothywilliam]

i really dig the camera angle on the first one and how you possed the minatour. the thing that throw me of is that its a story in two shots and i dont know how the character has gotten turned around, and the minatours hammer is out and smashed on the ground but i really like the poss he looks like he has a syco grin on him. the thing i would suggest is to do another shot in between to explain more

[CybrGfx]

The needle thin ankles of the beast look somewhat goofy (why is this such a popular rendering style, lately???), and the groin area, with the weird loincloth and strange motion lines, just looks bad...

In the second panel, the beast swinging the hammer reads really badly, with its hands so loosely wrapped around the handle, it loses all the momentum of slamming into the ground. The guy's right leg looks stunted and deformed, his arms are waaay too long for his body, and his head is too small.

Good feet on the guy, and the surrounding BG is well done. It's just your main focal points that look too stylized.

~C

[Fay300]

The needle thin ankles of the beast look somewhat goofy (why is this such a popular rendering style, lately???), and the groin area, with the weird loincloth and strange motion lines, just looks bad...

In the second panel, the beast swinging the hammer reads really badly, with its hands so loosely wrapped around the handle, it loses all the momentum of slamming into the ground. The guy's right leg looks stunted and deformed, his arms are waaay too long for his body, and his head is too small.

Good feet on the guy, and the surrounding BG is well done. It's just your main focal points that look too stylized.

~C


Yeah I agree. I spent a lot of time on the second panel trying to get the hammer smash right. I ran around to many different teachers trying to get their imput, and this was the fruit of my effort. One thing I didn't notice though that you pointed out, is his head's too small! Lol, I didn't notice.

[jessGiang]

hey nicole, seems like a lot of things have already been said, so I guess I'll nitpick a bit to give you the best feedback I can. lol.

I'm finding your backgrounds are becoming a little too flat for me. Like as if all the stone walls are kinda merging into one. It's hard to tell when one wall begins and another one ends. It's mostly in your last scene. I suggest that maybe for that far wall, show it's farther away by drawing that stone/brick texture smaller, like smaller blocks, as well change up your line weight to thin and light lines. It does look like you made them a bit smaller, but there isn't much of a difference so it's hard to tell. so work on that contrast.

Another thing that's throwing me off is the guy's scarf in the first panal. It does not look like cloth to me. It looks too stiff. Remember our perspective class, and remember when we did that drapery assignment. I'm not asking you to shade if that's what you're thinking. Just be wary of what your lines say.

Question: was the "no pupils" on the beast a style choice?

Other than that, I like what you've done. I like the story you've told, but it would have been nice to see your middle panal to really get it. I like you're trying to achieve textures as well.

[DArcy1]

My two cents: The hammer looks like it's stuck and he's trying to pull free, not that it's hitting the ground. The moment of impact looks more like this:
http://media.npr.org/programs/atc/features/2007/sep/asteroid/asteroid500.jpg

As for the sledgehammer grip, here's one image and one site with a few images that should help:
http://www.earth.ox.ac.uk/~tony/watts/FIELD_TRIP/source.jpg
http://lotussculpture.com/stonesculpturecarvingindia1.htm

D'Arcy

[Fay300]

My two cents: The hammer looks like it's stuck and he's trying to pull free, not that it's hitting the ground. The moment of impact looks more like this:
http://media.npr.org/programs/atc/features/2007/sep/asteroid/asteroid500.jpg

As for the sledgehammer grip, here's one image and one site with a few images that should help:
http://www.earth.ox.ac.uk/~tony/watts/FIELD_TRIP/source.jpg
http://lotussculpture.com/stonesculpturecarvingindia1.htm

D'Arcy

Thank-you for the pictures! That helps me a lot!

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