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mansuriakil
07-05-2008, 06:38 AM
this is my animation previz plz critique on it..thanks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kkFXUTuiuE

KyleG
07-05-2008, 03:59 PM
Some of your camera stagging is a little off. The shot opens with the character on the right side of the screen, then cuts to a new shot where the character is now on screen left, then another cut when he's back where he started. Jumping back and forth of the character is very confusing for the audience. Also the story isn't very clear, it seems to be a robot who changes out a part, but then breaks? I would work on making this more clear. Keep it up!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/180_degree_rule


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mansuriakil
07-08-2008, 04:14 PM
thanks Kyle Kenworthy for ur nice advice n i will work on my camera shot.

n my story is :there is one robot a robot with bulb.one day he was passing through one place n there he saw one big bulb so he want that big bulb.but when he inserted that bulb some electricity passed through that place n small bulb difused.but that big bulb was not working so he became sad.once again he tried n this time his bulb started working n he is dreaming himself with one heroin n then he passes by doing dance.n immediatly that bulb blasts n fused out n then cammera will move towards its back n we will see that there was one caution:"cannot accept more than 500 volts"(big bulb=1000volts)

thanks

JesseGraffam
07-15-2008, 07:42 AM
^wow. You need to work the story out a lot better in the previz. I had no idea heroin was involved.

lewistaylor
07-16-2008, 06:15 AM
Never tried it myself, but I imagine that heroin would
make you kind of dreamy, and a little itchy.

Lewis

DevIII
07-16-2008, 06:46 PM
I think he means heroine guys, once the light blub starts to work the robot has a dream that he is dancing with a female hero.

I think a robot would have a hard time using heroin.

mansuriakil, I would recomend breaking this idea into smaller perhaps more reachable scenes. you might consider veiwing this previs as a sketch of a bigger picture, now find the eleiments in that sketch you like the most and highlight those into a refined element.

by the way lewis I really dig your signature quote.

lewistaylor
07-17-2008, 02:18 AM
Darnit!

Just when I thought that someone was finally going to bring
the taboo subject of robots using heroin to light :)

Thanks Don.

JesseGraffam
07-17-2008, 06:10 AM
Yeah I was joking too. :beer:

CgIdentity
07-17-2008, 07:11 AM
It says "Video is no longer available." We gonna get an updated animation?

Edit: nevermind, refreshed and it showed up. There seems to be something wrong with his arm. It doesn't pivot correctly, like it's being rotated somewhere in the middle of the arm instead of at the joint. You ever thought of rigging it with bones? I'd recommend that or changing the rotation point of the arm to the space between the upper and lower arm. You can do this with the "insert" key on your keyboard.

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