Magic Moment (WIP) feels like smth wrong

[Aith]

Well firstly I absolutely love the dreamy blending on her hair and arm. It's lovely!
As for the back yard feel... The colours really need a little bit of work. And the speckle in the garden beds look a bit MS paint... You should maybe lay down more of a flat colour foundation before all that texture!
What's in a backyard? Hmmm, this picture looks a bit rustic for something modern like a pool haha. Maybe a birdbath, maybe have windows or have that door ajar so you can see household items like a table or a clock etc. Maybe outdoor furniture?

Also, her anatomy is a bit off, around the legs particularly. I'm by no means great at anatomy! But it's a bit hard for me to describe, with your permission I could draw an outline over her to help describe what I mean.

Other than that, nice work!

[Greenham]

The number one problem with this work is her stance. There is no way someone can stand like that and remain upright - at least in this universe. You need to rotate both legs anti-clockwise (as viewed) so they are actually beneath her to take her weight instead of splayed out the side like they currently are.

Her torso is far too long. You need to really consider her anatomy and bring the hips and legs up to somewhere plausible. She looks far too stretched as is. Also, her upper body does not correspond with her lower body. Her shoulders are facing a completely different direction to her hips and legs.

Perhaps consider changing things around compositionally, instead of just having her in the centre of the piece.

You need to really consider your leading lines in this work. Your path draws the eye up and to the top of your piece. This is incongruous with your woman's placement and her apparent direction of travel. She barely appears to be walking to the path. Composition is not my area of expertise, so I can't really advise you with any real confidence. I'd encourage you to do some research on composition and leading lines yourself.

You need to carefully consider your light source in this piece. Inspection of how the light is falling on the face would suggest a light source in the top right corner. You need to adjust your highlights and shading on the rest of the body to reflect this - especially the legs. Then you also need to consider how this will effect your background.

Other than that, I need more than general blurs of colour and scratchings in the background to get a better idea of what you're trying to achieve. Really sit down and think this piece out to conclusion, including the placement of your character; the position and size of each element of your background; your light source and how it will effect each of the prior; and what sort of general feeling or emotion you hope to portray with this piece.

Good luck.

[OlgaB]

Well firstly I absolutely love the dreamy blending on her hair and arm. It's lovely!
As for the back yard feel... The colours really need a little bit of work. And the speckle in the garden beds look a bit MS paint... You should maybe lay down more of a flat colour foundation before all that texture!
What's in a backyard? Hmmm, this picture looks a bit rustic for something modern like a pool haha. Maybe a birdbath, maybe have windows or have that door ajar so you can see household items like a table or a clock etc. Maybe outdoor furniture?

Also, her anatomy is a bit off, around the legs particularly. I'm by no means great at anatomy! But it's a bit hard for me to describe, with your permission I could draw an outline over her to help describe what I mean.

Other than that, nice work!

Thank you very much for your replay!
Well, it's clear that i should continue reserch about light, color, anatomy and so on )))
About draw an outline ower girl of cource i don't mind.

[OlgaB]

The number one problem with this work is her stance. There is no way someone can stand like that and remain upright - at least in this universe. You need to rotate both legs anti-clockwise (as viewed) so they are actually beneath her to take her weight instead of splayed out the side like they currently are.
Her torso is far too long. You need to really consider her anatomy and bring the hips and legs up to somewhere plausible. She looks far too stretched as is. Also, her upper body does not correspond with her lower body. Her shoulders are facing a completely different direction to her hips and legs.
Perhaps consider changing things around compositionally, instead of just having her in the centre of the piece.
You need to really consider your leading lines in this work. Your path draws the eye up and to the top of your piece. This is incongruous with your woman's placement and her apparent direction of travel. She barely appears to be walking to the path. Composition is not my area of expertise, so I can't really advise you with any real confidence. I'd encourage you to do some research on composition and leading lines yourself.
You need to carefully consider your light source in this piece. Inspection of how the light is falling on the face would suggest a light source in the top right corner. You need to adjust your highlights and shading on the rest of the body to reflect this - especially the legs. Then you also need to consider how this will effect your background.
Other than that, I need more than general blurs of colour and scratchings in the background to get a better idea of what you're trying to achieve. Really sit down and think this piece out to conclusion, including the placement of your character; the position and size of each element of your background; your light source and how it will effect each of the prior; and what sort of general feeling or emotion you hope to portray with this piece.

Good luck.

Thank you very much for your comments!
I will take into account all your advices, it's very useful!
And next time will publish more clear scetches.

[Tymotzues]

Yep
will have to agree with Greenham on what was said (I seem to be doing that more and more???)
Also I'd add that her lower legs are way too short for her upper legs, I think this has happened as you have tried to squeeze her legs into view.
The background perspective is a little off, a little too steep if you like and the composition makes it look even more so as you've set your horizon point to correspond with the position of her raised hand which makes it almost look like she's reaching out for the tree in the background. I would lower the horizon and make it clear what she is reaching for (if anything?)
other than that, love the texture of the coat, the smokey feel to it makes it look like velvet

[Tymotzues]

also just noticed the wall, as it disappears behind her and then you have a tree on the other side which could be construed as the end of the wall makes it difficult to distinguish clearly where the background perspective is going.
If you follow the base of the wall it doesn't appear on the other side of her coat! where did it go?, this is what is causing your major lose of perspective and continuity

Oh and I take back what I said about the lower legs it's just the feet that are too small (or the ankles?)

[OlgaB]

Hello, once again :).

Here is update.
And thanks a lot to all for comments. I tried to correct the perspctive and anatomy in picture according it.

Hope it's better this way. Any suggestions are welcome.

http://keep4u.ru/imgs/s/080511/bd/bd6effff54a454c0ab.jpg (http://keep4u.ru/full/080511/bd6effff54a454c0ab/jpg)

Thanks for watching!

[mikkilette]

I like this version far better, but there are still some issues.
Her legs still look wonky to me like they are in a line one right behind the other instead of being next to each other.
Her body/her legs look too small for her head, but don't trust me too much on that. I'm not very good with body anatomy.
This picture makes it more obvious of what she's looking at but her eyes seem to be drawn away by something more interesting out of the picture. Her eyes look like they are looking over the birds not at them.

Other than that, it looks pretty good and i can't wait to see the final piece.

[OlgaB]

mikkilette, thanks, i'm also waiting for it )

well, about girl's legs, i'm trying to make her walking, not just standing still under the tree.
probably, i've choosen not the best way to show it. )))) Never mind, it's just the fist work.
Her head yes, seems to be rather big, probably i'll decreasse it a little.

About eyes - thanks - i was thinking a lot about anatomy, and forget about it. ))))

[OlgaB]

also just noticed the wall, as it disappears behind her and then you have a tree on the other side which could be construed as the end of the wall makes it difficult to distinguish clearly where the background perspective is going.
If you follow the base of the wall it doesn't appear on the other side of her coat! where did it go?, this is what is causing your major lose of perspective and continuity

Oh and I take back what I said about the lower legs it's just the feet that are too small (or the ankles?)

Thank you for comments :) there are so many advices at once.
At first i expected the horisont line approximatly near to the rised hand, but now it climbes down a little.

And it's so good deal, that some people here spend their personal time to look through newbie's first works and give advices. Thanks.

[OlgaB]

one another stage.
working, working, and i guess it's impossible for me to put her legs in right place :(

Please, could somebody help me?

http://keep4u.ru/imgs/s/080521/72/72d22ea61ff2e49a42.jpg (http://keep4u.ru/full/080521/72d22ea61ff2e49a42/jpg)

[Tymotzues]

Well I think you've bought this a long way and it's looking good.
I'm not sure I can help you with your legs. They still look a little short to me but the coat makes the body dimensions very difficult to work out. Hopefully someone else can help.
Good work though. Keep it up.

[Shiaine]

Okay, so this is what I noticed when I saw the pic:
I think that compared to the body, the upper part of the legs have the right size but the lower part is way too short. Also, her feet are very small, which makes this look like it's some really strange perspective, but I don't think it's supposed to be this way when I see the rest of the painting. Her left knee is turned a bit too much to the left (her left, our right), I think, but that could be me.
As for her arms, I think the upper part of her right (again, our left) arm is a bit too short, the elbow should be a bit lower. Either that or her torso is too long.

Hmmm... anything else? Ok, the lighting... the way you shaded the clothes suggests that there is rather strong lighting coming from the top right corner, but her skin doesn't have this strong shading, which is a bit of a contrast.

One last thing and then I think I've said quite enough for now. This is a bit of a personal thing, but I think the woman is gazing quite blankly ahead. It might perhaps be nicer to have her look at something, like the bird. At this moment I could just imagine her walking into a tree because she isn't paying attention to where she's going, like she's lost in dreams.

Apart from all these critiques, I do like this so far and I love the colour scheme you've used. Good luck with finishing this!

[OlgaB]

Tymotzues, thanks a lot!
What I understood, it's very brave idea to make first work with this foreshortened and so many details :), but I’m going to continue.


Shiaine, Thanks for your critiques and comments.

Light on the face I made this way especially, I tried more contrast variant but it looks more like dirty, but shadow. yes it's not 100% right, but for me looks more pretty :).

Well her eyes, for me she should look through birds on something more interesting outside the picture. I hope I will get it closer to finish :).

[OlgaB]

Hi again.
Here is another new wip.

http://keep4u.ru/imgs/b/080618/23/23041d2a916540485c.jpg

[OlgaB]

http://keep4u.ru/imgs/b/080630/95/958e900fd509e618da.jpg
another stage

[arielmedel]

Olga, hi, I haven´t the rest of the thread and since I`m working I´ll just do a quick crit.

You have some proportion and pose issues. She´s seems like she´s rushing to work, intead of having a nice walk.

You have no detail on the neck and chest, it seems flat. Your arm proportions are wrong.

But the legs are the ones that make the imge look weird. Here´s a sample of how they should look more like. NOT exactly like that cause I did it fast and my sample sucks, it´s just an indication.

Your nick make sme think you´re female, if so, I advise you put on some shorts and take pictures of you in the pose you want. But it most be a comfortable pose, don`t force it so it looks natural.

http://ariel_medel.tripod.com/samplexxx.jpg

[OlgaB]

arielmedel, Thank you very much, you are really good in figure posing! :cool:

[Ataulfo]

Hi Olga,
Another thing you must look for is the perspective. Now it looks like she is going downhill.
Here goes an Animated giff with a example:
http://i306.photobucket.com/albums/nn246/Ataulfo79/Perspective.gif

[Auria]

This is really wonderful, esspecially for your first CG!
the improvements are so drastic!

I think the feet are still too distracting and I think I know the problem... they are short sheeted, small even for the perspective and proportion wise. But i think the angle on the boots and dress could really make a difference.

by angle i mean based on teh picture, we're looking almost straight on the subject head wise, but almost fish eyes so we're looking down upon the rest of the subject esspecially reaching her legs. By forming the boots around the leg to make it look like we are in fact looking down on them it really makes a difference. I did a small paintover (http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/7536/94127187lm4.png)(i hope you dont mind) to let you know what im talking about because it sounds really confusing O_o;

but you can see i really wrapped the boots around the legs instead of the mostly straight across the boots and dress were before. I also got rid of the bottom part of the arch in the background, because if we're starting at eye level we shouldnt see the bottom of the arch at any point because we're at a higher angle.

Im not sure if i helped... either way... this painting is really really looking good (and in the paint over i really got to see all the colors your using in this piece which really really really brings life to it, esspecially those purples in the shadows!)

look forward to the final piece!!

[Auria]

XD! Ataulfo rocks socks, thats what it needed :D

[OlgaB]

This is really wonderful, esspecially for your first CG!
the improvements are so drastic!

I think the feet are still too distracting and I think I know the problem... they are short sheeted, small even for the perspective and proportion wise. But i think the angle on the boots and dress could really make a difference.

by angle i mean based on teh picture, we're looking almost straight on the subject head wise, but almost fish eyes so we're looking down upon the rest of the subject esspecially reaching her legs. By forming the boots around the leg to make it look like we are in fact looking down on them it really makes a difference. I did a small paintover (http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/7536/94127187lm4.png)(i hope you dont mind) to let you know what im talking about because it sounds really confusing O_o;

but you can see i really wrapped the boots around the legs instead of the mostly straight across the boots and dress were before. I also got rid of the bottom part of the arch in the background, because if we're starting at eye level we shouldnt see the bottom of the arch at any point because we're at a higher angle.

Im not sure if i helped... either way... this painting is really really looking good (and in the paint over i really got to see all the colors your using in this piece which really really really brings life to it, esspecially those purples in the shadows!)

look forward to the final piece!!

Auria, Thanks a lot! Hope I understand right what you described, Thanks a lot.

BTW, I found your Sunflower WIP very interesting.

[OlgaB]

Thanks to all for comments! This is the latest wip.
http://www.render.ru/forum/images/upload/799335.jpg

[figueroa]

Hi All,
This is really looking great.

Some quick thoughts..I think the pose is still a bit on the tumbling side. One thing that might help is to bring the right leg a bit more into the foreground by making it go straight off to her right side; not quite parralel but just enough to make her seem less off balance. If youre wanting to keep her walking I think the waist might be causing her to contort in an odd way. My suggestion is to lasso tool from the belly all the way around her feet and rotate this big selection counterclockwise a bit. This will bring her feet more inlin the centerline of her facial features. A bit risky but just might do the trick!

Good luck!

[OlgaB]

Well, I suppose it's the final stage.

Of course it's not ideal. I'll try to make next pictures more interesting )

Again thanks a lot to all for help and feedback, I appreciate it.



Thanks for watching

C&C are welcome.


http://www.render.ru/forum/images/upload/820235.jpg

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