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KIIIA
04-12-2008, 02:03 AM
Hi, i`m pretty finished with the cover of my application book for university [Communication design].The front is ment to convey a sense of light-hearted, pure beauty in a space without gravity, that allows to focus on the very essence of beauty. That`s why i created a very classic, bold looking font in gold, to support this aspect.
The back corresponds with the feather at the front. Its displays a swan, the animal which is classicaly used in literature, theater and arts to visualize beauty!
It also fit very well because of its pure, white and noble appearance.

C&C very welcome, since i`m willing to change things, if any strange things occur....(when you work on things all by yourself for a long time, you sometimes loose the clear view about them.)

Front:
http://www.kiiia.com/Bilder/map_front.jpg
Back:
http://www.kiiia.com/Bilder/swan_1.jpg

CybrGfx
04-12-2008, 06:30 AM
The back looks much less refined than the front, almost cartoonish.

The blue lines surrounding the swan are soft and blurry, except where they cross in front of the swan, then they are harsh and hard edged. The inconsistency is almost jarring, and is somewhat distracting. They don't add anything to your image, since they are not really aligned with the swan, and just end up looking a bit contrived.

The water just looks hurried and sloppy, sorry.

The swan itself needs work. The wings are anatomically incorrect, with not enough and too short of feathers near the body,
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c3/Swan.spreads.wings.arp.jpg/180px-Swan.spreads.wings.arp.jpg, http://pro.corbis.com/images/42-16421185.jpg?size=572&uid=%7BD837C3FB-2D81-4461-85CD-6D060933CE87%7D,
and the neck looks like a badly healed break, with it going from thick, to thin, back to thick, but no real curvature, as it is extended upwards and straight...

Personally, I don't care for the font you used for "Beauté, it looks ungainly, with the 't' so small, and the 'a' looking like it is "saggy."

Also, if you are trying to tie the front to the back, either make the swan purple, or render that front feather in white. Consistency from front to back will matter.

Just my opinion, so don't make changes based only on it. Others may find it acceptable and fine.

Your concept for this cover sound really well thought out, but the technical execution seems to be lacking detail.

~Cyber

KIIIA
04-12-2008, 05:45 PM
That`s the very good feedback, i hoped to get here, thx. I will rework some things like the neck. I`m not quite sure what you mean with the font, though: I created it myself, so if you could make a quick overpaint of the proportions (only if you have a minute time), you would prefer, it would really help me (Because the font has been a big point of criticism in other forums, too)

Diginova
04-12-2008, 07:23 PM
I like your concept :)

Most of my concerns are already mentioned by CybrGfx, so I won't mention anything too technical.

I want to know what is the focus of the back image. If I'm right, it would be the swan. You need to emphasize it more. The head seems to stand out more than the rest of the body. One reason is that the background colors are too close to white, the color of the swan. Secondly, it is the lack of detail comparing to the "backgrounds" of the image, which includes the water.

The ripples has high contrast, which makes it stand out more than the swan. (and where did the shadow casted by the swan go?) Also since the strokes are rough, the water consists many values and saturation. This makes it much more interesting to look at, rather than the swan.

My eyes automatically focuses on the water instead of the swan. Therefore I think you have to improve the focal point of the image.

The concept is simplicity and elegance, which I hold high regards. However there can certainly be room for improvement.

Good luck! : D

CybrGfx
04-13-2008, 03:54 AM
With the font, it's a combination of inconsistency, as regards the lack of a serif on the 'U', to uneveness in the strokes, making them look too hand drawn...

Here are just 3 fonts that I think take you concept to a cleaner version.
http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/6151/fontsrd4.jpg

If you are not doing this digitally, you need a good ruler and compass. If you can paint this digitally, you need to use the Pen tool and make your own font as a vector.

Hope this helps some!
~Cyber

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04-13-2008, 03:54 AM
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