Three (childrens book) illustrations

[CybrGfx]

These are...interesting. A bit too visually disturbing for a children's book, perhaps, but possibly a pre-teen comic.

You're overdoing the grunge effect. None of these images are enhanced by it, they all just look dirty, as if you painted them traditionally on paper in a dirty room, and left them laying around for a few months before showing them to someone. Similarly, the colors are a bit "blah," with too many yellow undertones (a grunge effect?)

You also need to pay a bit more attention to your linework. The nose of the kangaroo and the outline of the pointy mountain are echoed very strongly in the shapes of the clouds.

The first image has the ears of the kangaroo and the girl thing only semi-opaque. You can see the linework of the background through them. It's almost hard to see, though, because all the grunge scratches and grime help hide it. The white flowers are inconsistent and hokey looking. They remain the same size throughout the image, making the ones down the hill by the houses the size of small sheep...The grid lines behind the school are distracting.

The skull head things just creep me out, but that is your intent. I am assuming that by the end of the book, they will look more like "normal" boys and girls. I would hope so.

All of the panels show very poor lighting. You have contradicting shadows and highlights, as if you took a very large brush at low opacity, and simply plopped down some dark areas for shadows, and some bright splotches for atmostpheric lighting. Even though this is comic style, and these are children's book illustrations, that is no excuse for such value rendering. It does not add depth to your work, although it does help emphasize the overall grunginess look.

You display some WONDERFUL settings for these scenes, the type of backgrounds that are more interesting than the story you are illustrating. THAT is a skill, and you show a very strong power in it. The teacher's nails indenting the book pages, the wrinkle in the little girl skull thing's sock. Those are the little things that catch the eye, however subtly and subliminally, and make the viewer empathise with what they see.

I think if you work on "cleaning" your work, not just the excessive grunge effect, but the technical issues of transparency, colors, and attention to lighting detail, you will create some stunning works, and not just cartoons.

~Cyber

[hilbruks]

CyberGfx: Thank You!
That is the kind of feedback I have waited for! Most people just say that it looks nice or that it is good without really pointing out what is wrong with it. And when I say I'm not satisfied, they say I'm too picky. I have seen that there's alot that's wrong about my drawings, some things that I just could not see for myself, and some things that are more notisable. Thanks alot, you have inspired me and made my day :)

Oh. And yes. The kids "skull-shell" will evenually crack and fall of :)

[CybrGfx]

You are MOST welcome, I am glad that you desired a bit more critical eye.

I am tickled to know that the story will have a happy ending. I LOVE stories with happy endings!

Best of success to you!

~Cyber

[hilbruks]

The story goes like this. The main character has a strong personality and have never been to school before. This is her first day and she gets there a little late. As she enters the doos she sees that alle the other students has been supressed into lifeless, soulless kids. She will not be supressed, and as she continues to question the teacher the other kids start waking up and begin to express themself.
It's kind of a comment on our educational system, which is pretty much the same as other european contries and north america.

[Greenham]

The nose of the kangaroo and the outline of the pointy mountain are echoed very strongly in the shapes of the clouds.
I'm an Australian, and that, sir, is no kangaroo. :)

[CybrGfx]

I'm an Australian, and that, sir, is no kangaroo. :)Close enough, even though its father was a wild mustang...lol!

~Cyber

[CGTalk Moderation]

This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.