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fmahalem
02-05-2008, 06:00 AM
Hello guys!

I've just finished a rougth blocking of my short, and I'd like to receive some critiques.

The models are just place holders, just to measure distances and staging, nothing is final.

The song is also not final, I'll see what I can do with that, but the style will be the same.

I'll be posting my progress here! hope to have all you guys on my credits =D

http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/blocking_full_web.mov (about 5mb)

I'll not explain much of the story, I want to see what you guys don't understand just watching it.

Saihtam
02-05-2008, 02:47 PM
Cool idea for a short.

one of the move that I'm not sure is around the frame 1110 during the change of camera angle which I love. I would not see his head going in his hand but more going backward like repulse by what he is seeing.

I love his facial expression when he eats the soup.

Mathias

fmahalem
02-10-2008, 02:20 AM
this is the blocking plus of the first third of the short

http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/blocking02_full_web.mov (about 4mb)

zog34
02-10-2008, 04:55 AM
Greetings, my friend, I see you have brought this out from AM into the public.

First reactions:

The camera rotate from arms to heads (at around 1025) could be a little faster. Chop maybe two or four frames from the shift (this is so it looks more jolted as the character obviously feels after seeing body parts).

Also around that point I would suggest pushing the characters reaction as much as possible. He has an empty bowl in his hands and he's in a restaurant, he ought to look a little more surprised (plus, when we cut from the character to the body parts he is only frowning a little, when we cut back he's terrified! It would be better to see the reaction before we see the body parts).

Umm, I like the concept, the blocking looks clean. Keep it up!\
-albert

bleumoon
02-10-2008, 07:09 PM
Oh that's sick, disgusting, and a little disturbing . . . I like it :thumbsup:! I don't really have any crits at the moment, the blocking looks great. The story reads clear, has nice pacing, and is well told. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to seeing updates.

fmahalem
02-19-2008, 11:06 PM
howdy!

heres the latest blocking stage, some scenes are splined, but still blocked, im worried with the poses and actions right now, and timing as well..

did some changes on the expressions but im not sure if it feels right


http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/blocking2_full_web_cgtalk.mov

Thanks for your comments so far! it really helps!

CaptainRon
02-20-2008, 11:02 PM
I think your expressions are great, maybe have him look a little more curious after the shot where he looks over all the tables, but overall this is looking good.

My only critique is the 800 - 950 sequence has editing that feels a little too aggressive.

Maybe giving the shot of him getting up a little more time, as well as when he enters the kitchen, have him stop for a second and look around, then move on. If you were to make him a little more cautious in this shot i'd make the shot a little longer. Nixing the aggressive editing.

But overall haha i love the story, can't wait to see how this progresses!

Cheers

doffer
02-21-2008, 04:53 PM
It looks great.
One thing though:
When he enters the restaurant for the first time, I think the owner is a bit misplaced. Perhaps he should wait on then customer behind the bar, or leave the room empty and have the owner look through the small round windows in the door, and enter as he sees the customer.

That would be my only critique.

Kid-Mesh
02-22-2008, 12:14 AM
LOL....talk about an idea for a short LOL. This is pretty cool...at first glance it looks really good. Although, I haven't had a chance to put a "critical" eye on it yet :twisted:

Keep up the good work, I'd love to see more updates for this. I'm sure when it's done this will be something special.

Good luck :thumbsup:

em3
02-23-2008, 08:32 PM
Hey, I really like your short! Funny concept. I too am working on a short and am far less skilled than you. Sorry to be a newb but what does "blocking" mean?

MN3M
02-25-2008, 03:09 PM
:thumbsup: amazing short..
i like the ide so much.
Keep moving forward

fmahalem
02-25-2008, 05:38 PM
..but what does "blocking" mean?

Hey! well, blocking only means that you're not animating in spline yet, you just have your main poses and timing, animating everything in Steped curves, so theres is no transition (tweening) between frames.

Only after that is done and clear, we turn the curves to spline and move things around

In the blocking stage we have all keyframes aligned to the poses, in spline we tend to move frames around to make some overlaping motion or to break down the joints.

hope it helps!

-Felipe

em3
02-25-2008, 06:46 PM
very helpful, thanks felipe! Good luck with your project, I will be watching this thread.

Anil-Kapoor
02-28-2008, 09:09 AM
Nice work. I am looking forward to the finished animation.

fmahalem
03-02-2008, 08:38 PM
Hello all!

this is the first pass of spline on the first third of the short:

http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/splie01_1x3_web.mov

any critiques and suggestions are welcome!

aesir
03-02-2008, 11:33 PM
Its looking really good! Great work so far.

The only part that felt a tad off to me was when he stopped in front of the cafe and grabbed his suit case with both hands. He grabs it for too short a time, and I'm not sure what his reason for grabbing it was. It would make more sense if he grabbed it, and then switched the case to his other hand to give his tired one a rest. Of course if you did that you'd have to reverse the pose in the next scene. If youre lucky your rig would have some sort of pose reversing button, but if not, probably too much of a hassle to redo. If youre not going to go that route, then just dont have him grab onto his case with both hands at all or change up the timing. I could see him grab the case and then shrug his shoulders or sigh. Thats another idea i suppose.

rstratton
03-03-2008, 08:13 PM
I just wanted to say first off that your animation is looking good and I really like the story you have going.

I did notice when he walks up to the door and places his hand on the doorway it's kind of harsh. You can see where you went from FK to IK here to hold to the door because the arm kind of linearly goes to the door jam and hits hard. I would personally soften that grab a bit. I'm getting the same feeling when he sits down and his arms seem to grab or hit hard on the seat and you can read it in the arms. Also I'm not sure if you have done much offsets yet but your hands hit on the exact same frame when he places them on the table, looks like f320. Then they move out of possition at the same frame f537.

His walk when he is walking up to the table doesn't feel right to me. It could just be me because I honestly can't tell you what I don't like about it, I guess its the fact that he still has that hug swagger walk but he is no longer holding his heavy suitcase.

Keep up the good work man I can't wait to see the final animation.

fmahalem
03-03-2008, 10:22 PM
The only part that felt a tad off to me was when he stopped in front of the cafe and grabbed his suit case with both hands.
Hmmm, I know what you mean... but i don't think he needs to swap hands with the suitcase... What I tought was that he grabbed with two hands just to think if he enters the restaurant or not... like a thinking pose...

But anyways, I'll see what I can do, his move after that is weird, that defnetly needs a fix

I did notice when he walks up to the door and places his hand on the doorway it's kind of harsh. You can see where you went from FK to IK here to hold to the door because the arm kind of linearly goes to the door jam and hits hard. I would personally soften that grab a bit. I'm getting the same feeling when he sits down and his arms seem to grab or hit hard on the seat and you can read it in the arms.
Yes! actually, theres no ik fk transition there, but anyways, I agree a lot that need some soften on that spot, that entire camera needs ajusts, it looks completly off to me.

Also I'm not sure if you have done much offsets yet but your hands hit on the exact same frame when he places them on the table, looks like f320. Then they move out of possition at the same frame f537.
Yea, I haven't done much with the hands yet, i'll take care of that!

His walk when he is walking up to the table doesn't feel right to me. It could just be me because I honestly can't tell you what I don't like about it, I guess its the fact that he still has that hug swagger walk but he is no longer holding his heavy suitcase.
That walk is just ruined, I'll probably remake that. The thing is that he is walking in X and Z, so its very hard to achieve some poses and to spline it... I'll try rotating the master control so that I have he walking on Z only.

Thanks for all comments! keep it coming!

fmahalem
03-07-2008, 10:59 PM
hello people!

here's the first spline pass of the second third of the short

http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/splie01_2x3_web.mov (http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/splie01_2x3_web.mov)


keep comments comming!

fmahalem
03-12-2008, 08:01 AM
hey guyz!

here is the full short in spline mode, this is the first spline pass:

http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/spline01_full_web.mov

Any comments, suggestions or critiques are welcome! I have two weeks to polish this whole thing, oh boy..

CaptainRon
03-12-2008, 03:00 PM
hey man, great job!

it's cool to see this thing in full motion.

a few things i'm not fully grasping about the story though. the chef with the bad back? I guess you could assume that he's been lifting many heavy objects and therefore has a bad back, but it seems strange that from 326-372 it feels like you want the audience to take note that he's limping, but then your main character doesn't really care, and it doesn't feel like there's a solid explanation as to why he has a bad back.

Something i just thought of was to have the businessman walk in the kitchen, see the arms, heads, and then see the chef lifting a body onto a table. Then as the businessman tries to run for the door the chef cuts him off. (no pun intended)

Oh and frame 1157 is one of your storyboards :)

but overall your timing is great and your expressions are working very well. keep it up!

BubaBrown
03-12-2008, 09:12 PM
Excellent progress. Very fluent animation. I am looking forward to final rendering.

Very funny story as well. I have seen Sweeny Tod recently so the point was not so surprising, it just happens in some restaurants. :-)))

em3
03-12-2008, 09:43 PM
I'm at work where .mov files won't open. I'll check it out when I get home.

fmahalem
03-12-2008, 09:54 PM
Very funny story as well. I have seen Sweeny Tod recently so the point was not so surprising, it just happens in some restaurants. :-)))

yea, i haven't yet, but I heard about the story... thats just the same as mine.

you know that SUCKS heheh, coz I was doing mine before (since aug. 2007), and it was inspired by a movie that my sister saw once about a lady that cooked humans.

so is not that original thou, but the bad thing is that my short will be released along with this Sweeny Tod... so everyone will say the same thing... over and over again... oh boy..

anyways...well... what evah hehehe

BubaBrown
03-13-2008, 08:07 PM
I am sorry. But you are not the only one. In bonuses of Lord fo the Rings 3 DVD guys from animation department are saying how excited they were about their work they just had done concerning army of death. Then they went to movies and saw Pirates of Caribbean 1. Whoops - quite same skeletons :-////

fmahalem
03-23-2008, 07:45 PM
Hi there!

Here we are again! this is the first polish pass (second spline pass) on everything, fixed a lot of stuff, but theres still a lot of room for improvement.

please! send your critique on this! about anything, it helps a lot!

http://www.feeldesign.com.br/_temp/polish01_full_web.mov


Hope you enjoy it!

aesir
03-24-2008, 04:26 AM
You're making great progress!!

Here are the only things that caught my eye as needing a bit more love.

Where he grabs his suitcase before he walks in still feels off. Its just so fast that it seems unrealistic I think.

The slip backwards on the mop needs more exagerration. Push a few of those poses and flailing arms and legs. Let the action be a little more cartoony. Have a slower ease in to the fall as well.

When he brushes the hand off his arm he does it almost nonchalantly, and THEN screams. He needs to be terrified of the arm and practically jump out of his skin getting it off of him. Maybe have him lung sideways as he brushes it off.

I think you can push the poses in the next scene where the bad guy raises the axe. Push the facial expression and the reach of the axe. Think maniac evil bad guy scenes in cheesy cartoons.


Other than that it all felt great.

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