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View Full Version : Another critique my reel thread :)


oneD
01-24-2008, 01:07 AM
Hi everyone, I finished my Diploma of Animation last year and I'm just looking for some critique, areas I need to work on etc.

It's just a youtube link, I hope thats ok...the youtube compressor did something funny to the first few seconds but the rest is fine :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEDHRoMBst4

Many thanks, Tim.

Stein3D
01-26-2008, 06:34 AM
Hey Man,

This looks really good. I'm actually working towards my degree in 3D at the moment so I'm definitely not a professional when it comes to critiques but there were two particular areas that caught my attention. When the man on the beach does his first run at the the tree and jumps there appears to be something off in the camera work. He disappears quite suddenly from the first shot and it immediately cuts to a second shot showing him jumping followed very quickly by a third shot of him falling at an angle which does not look like it's part of the same jump. Perhaps I'm missing something there but it came across as slightly chaotic and the continuity definitely seemed to be off a bit. The only other thing that I noticed was when he throws the rock and it bounces back and hits him, his head seems to snap back just a fraction too soon. He almost reacts before the rock hits him. Other than that it looked awesome!! Keep up the good work. :)

oneD
01-26-2008, 10:20 PM
Awsome, cheers for that mate, yeah my editing is a bit slack I guess, so I will try to work on that, and that thing with the rock is exactly what my tutor said, I did try to fix it but it must still be off, thanks again for taking the time :)


Anyone else?

EZartajuz
01-29-2008, 08:50 PM
It's an okay start, but could definately use some work I think. First off, it's kind of conflicting what position you're trying to show as your strong point in the reel. If you're going for animation, there really isn't much reason for the T-pose turn arounds and such. First it takes you out of the scene and secondly even if you are responsible for the modeling and texturing, we can see what the characters look like during the animation and you can simply cite that in your credits.
The first scene with the (what I'm assuming is a) twig character is too hard to read. It needs much stronger poses. Even after it was over, I was left wondering was he trying to hit on the tree or start a fight with it. The purpose of the animation was never really clear to me. Really push the poses for whatever emotion you're going for and don't be afraid to hold some of them. With such a lanky character you should be able to get some really interesting silhouettes with him.
Honestly for the beach scene, my first instinct is to tell you to shorten it...a lot. It can be really tempting for animators starting off to want to do some piece of epic animation (I did it myself to disasterous consequences) but usually keeping it short and sweet is the best way to go. A 30 second piece is really long in terms of animation (especially demo reels) and not only do you risk losing the audience but it means more things to clean up in one scene the further you go along. I know this is your piece though and if you really want to be up to fixing it up though, these are some of things I noticed about it.
Tone down the head bobbing on the run up to the tree. The guy would be woefully dizzy if his head shook up and down like that while moving.
When he is backing up away from the tree, really watch your weight and make sure the upperbody isn't completely stationary. Try having him gradually lean down as he's backing up, or even staggering his steps some while he looks back and forth between where he's going and his target (the tree) to break up the action.
Definately work on the throw. Really get his body into it--from his arm all the way down to his hips. Don't be afraid to hold the anticipation longer and really fling the rock! Ideally I would think the action between him throwing the rock and it bouncing back to hit him would be so quick that a cut there wouldn't be necessary.
On the whole, the animation seems a bit slow so play with your timing and study the 12 principles. Hope that gives you some input.

oneD
01-30-2008, 01:26 AM
Wow thanks mate, thats some really good critique, exactly what I was looking for :) Now I actually have some work to do I guess...

I suppose my reasoning for having the T poses and particle effects near the end was to show that I have had training in most areas of 3d, as I thought company's, especially in a small country like New Zealand would rather hire a Junior with a range of skills rather than for a more specialised role...

The purpose of the twig scene was a lip sync assessment so I guess I should tone down the music at that part, because he was in fact trying to start a fight, and I couldn't think of an ending hence the random wave goodbye...although I suppose if the animation was up to standards it shouldn't need a voice to explain whats happening.

The beach scene was my final individual project and I felt I did take on to much work which left parts unfinsished and didnt have time to tweak them, although now I have all the time in the world(well not really with full time work etc.) but I'll try do some tweaking where you mentioned. I do tend to overexaggerate secondary animation, ie. head/hands a bit beyond realism.

I also felt my reel wouldn't look complete with only the 2 above mentioned scenes plus the Group Project work, which is why I included the T poses and Particle effects.

EZartajuz
01-30-2008, 04:01 AM
True that it's always good to know some of everything, I don't think that's the best way to show it. Even if you look at really good modeling reels, you won't see stuff in T-pose. Just worry about the animation and credit yourself as the modeler later or at the very most the little subtitle at the bottom like you have it.

And yeah, if that's supposed to be a lip sync I couldn't hear any voices (if someone else does, by all means correct me). But as you said, it should be clear even without the sound. The ultimate purpose of a lip sync isn't really matching the lips up with a sound, but conveying the emotion and thought in the voice.
Lastly keep in mind it's better to leave them wanting more than to show potential employers work that isn't 100% your best. I've yet to hear anyone say they'd rather see a long reel of mediocre stuff compared to a few really excellent pieces.

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