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samfergy
11-15-2007, 06:09 PM
Hello everyone,

I was hoping you might be able to help me with an ending for my short 2 and a half minute animation. I will post the story here because its not too long.


It begins with the sculptor working on a large sculpture of a figure. A figure about 4 times the size of himself.

He hits the chisel very lightly and carefully a few times then stands back and admires his work, he repeats this a few times.



The music will be Italian upbeat classical something like Verdi's “Libiamo Libiamo”.



Then a fly whizzes past causing him to cower and wrap his arms around the statue.



The fly makes his way round the whole workshop causing total mayhem, knocking things over and causing destruction. Knocking sculptures over, knocking tools off the walls.



The sounds of crashing will be heard over the music. The music being the same song as the start but now is in time with the destruction, like contrasting very prim and proper music with a very haphazard destructive scene.



The sculptor is now on the ground. The fly passes him a few times as he tries to waft it away.



This crescendos in the fly heading straight for the man and straight into his face



Black screen ( as if he's been knocked out)



Silence for a few seconds



He wakes up and takes a look around his workshop which is a total mess.



He notices the statue he is working on is still in one piece, which brings a smile to his face.



He walks over and strokes the sculpture, then picking up his chisel and hammer prepares to hit the chisel and continue work on the masterpiece.



Just as he does this, the buzzing starts again from inside of him. You realise that the fly went in his mouth when it crashed into him and is now inside his body. The fly then controls the man from inside of him almost like remy controlling linguine in ratatouille.



The only ending I can think of is that the sculptor wrecks his masterpiece and instead of being a grandiose figure it ends up as a statue of a frail old man.

Im sure there must be a better ending

Any suggestions will help

Thanks
JohNLA
11-16-2007, 05:03 AM
It's cliche but you could have him sculpt a sexy girl fly.
Or a literal Superfly.
Chirone
11-16-2007, 05:05 AM
have the sculpture get reworked into a giant fly :thumbsup:
samfergy
11-16-2007, 01:17 PM
yeh that crossed my mind aswell. Its just when I try to imagine it, its rather a dull ending. I suppose if its done well it may look ok.
Durrien
11-18-2007, 08:33 AM
Your story sounds like a very common artistic experience. Our creativity is larger than life. We are genius in our own imagination. Then some nagging nuisance comes buzzing in our ear, whether family, society or self-doubt.

What are you trying to "say" with your film, if anything? I'm assuming your animation is more than just an exercise in clever movement. If, for example, the external buzzing represents family or society taunting the artist to do something valuable and productive (i.e., "get a real job") -- or even if the fly is a metaphor for doubt -- then your story has a good beginning. As the chaos of expectation, ambition & desire moves through the artist's world, the natural order of his environment becomes unsettled, overturned and even ruined.

From your description, I imagine the sculpture is a self-portrait of the artist, a towering reflection of ego. Once the artist feels he has survived his ordeal, or restored some hope of peace, he realizes to his horror that he has, in fact, internalized (swallowed) the criticism/judgment which he's been fending off. As the buzzing now knocks about his skull, he flinches -- and, with a final, feeble thwack of his chisel, the sculpture sheds its remaining pounds of rubble, leaving the form of...

And this is where your meaning is discovered. This is not something for me to guess, but for you to tell us. Without knowing anything about your intention, some random suggestions might be:

- The towering portrait of a confident, herculean man (carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders) crumbles to reveal a pitiful, cowering figure (who can barely endure the slightest burden or challenge).

- The larger-than-life sculpture disintegrates to reveal a fragile, caricatured infant who implicitly craves assurance, praise, security.

- The pioneering proxy of the gods shatters to become a ramrod straight, statuesque businessman with tophat and briefcase. (The fear of banality, commerciality.)

- The carefree exterior of the artist's self-portrait sloughs off to reveal his true inner life of frenzy, stress and doubt (as others have suggested, the image of the fly itself).

By the way, for inspiration, here is a film from 1980 by Hungarian animator Ferenc Rofusz, called "The Fly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViIEK2Z2wEY)."

Let us know how it goes. Good luck!
samfergy
11-18-2007, 05:19 PM
Thanks Durrien for that exellent post. Its really got me thinking deeper about the piece. To be honest at this very moment I dont know what im trying to "say" with the film. And this is clearly the area that I need to be focusing on rather than just an ending.

I will keep you updated.

Thanks again
Typhonloki
11-21-2007, 02:06 PM
How about an end shot inside the man's stomach where the fly has created a sculpture of himself, e.g. a fly in a winning pose, from a kidney stone or tooth he knocked out when he went into the sculptor's mouth.
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