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jajo
11-11-2007, 06:12 PM
Hello CG...

I am glad joining this comunity that speaks my language .
I look for all the best for this comunity.

I am happy to prsent you with my first 3d animated short film

SHADOWS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nKH0_as798

I hope you enjoy watching it and give advise since its my first.

Thanks...

Obaid3DFX
11-12-2007, 04:37 AM
Well... :D

first of all, Welcome to our cg society...

the story is good but not clear enough for normal audience...
the human design looks unfisihed...

I liked most the action shots....

good luck my friend
over all well done
:thumbsup:

jajo
11-12-2007, 04:54 AM
Well... :D
the story is good but not clear enough for normal audience...
the human design looks unfisihed...
:thumbsup:

About the story ... it is intended to be puzzling inorder to involve audiance in figuering out the
hidden main theme and keys for understanding it is placed for the veiwer to conclude and grasp what's ment by the story.

Yes the human design needs extra details for better look.

Thanks for your support.

brunowerneck
11-12-2007, 07:19 AM
unless you're going for an abstract non-lineat story, it is a bit unclear but t's visually interesting nonetheless.

Thanks for sharing.
cheers.

mistasam02
11-12-2007, 06:20 PM
Hey! Your story was interesting (from what I think you meant through that ending) although it was way too vague and ended very quickly. If you showed another wide shot of an empty room with another picture on the wall (that is what happened, right?) then it might sell the story better. Overall it just seemed like an excuse to do a fight scene. The modeling/texturing/lighting was all right, but what really bothered me was the animation. You seemed to hide it somewhat with the quick camera moves and crazy angles, but it was still really bad. Most of the time the hands stayed stiff, the feet slid around, and the poses weren't too good either. The timing was ok at some points, but either too fast or too slow a lot of the time. If you cleaned that up and worked out a better/more clear ending, it would be way more successful. Just my opinion.. good luck! :thumbsup: Nice job!

jajo
11-12-2007, 06:57 PM
unless you're going for an abstract non-lineat story, it is a bit unclear but t's visually interesting nonetheless.


Yes I was aiming for the abstract aspect of the story...

If you showed another wide shot of an empty room with another picture on the wall (that is what happened, right?) then it might sell the story better.


That's right and goes along with what I'm aiming for but still conentrating on the masked man end is effecient.

Thanks for all...

jajo
11-19-2007, 03:12 PM
Comments and advise are more than welcome.

Booyah
11-19-2007, 06:17 PM
Animation is very floaty, the characters don't seem to be reacting but rather being moved around like a puppet. Needs some work, I liked the intro stuff, but got lost once everything started happening

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