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enochian
10-23-2007, 09:32 PM
I have just Finished Term 6 at Vancouver Film School which is the final term, but I have been awarded a Scholarship so I can continue to work on my reel for another two months. I plan on reworking the ctiy background and would like any cirits and comments.

Thanks

Ryan

full res:
http://student.vfs.com/~3d65ryanw/3d65RyanW_DRoct16_720x389.mov (http://student.vfs.com/%7E3d65ryanw/3d65RyanW_DRoct16_720x389.mov)


low res:

http://student.vfs.com/~3d65ryanw/3d65RyanW_DRoct16_360x194.mov (http://student.vfs.com/%7E3d65ryanw/3d65RyanW_DRoct16_360x194.mov)

http://student.vfs.com/%7E3d65ryanw/3d65_RyanWathins_Still08.jpg (ftp://3d65ryanw@ftp.vfs.com/public_html/3d65RyanW_DRoct16_360x194.mov)

http://student.vfs.com/%7E3d65ryanw/3d65_RyanWatkins_Still02.jpg

http://student.vfs.com/%7E3d65ryanw/3d65_RyanWatkins_Still05.jpg

whalerider
11-08-2007, 08:03 PM
A few things you may want to work on (imho):
1. The atmosphere over the city before you plunge in is way too clear (compared to the sky we see once you plunge in).
2. The beginning of the smoke effect (00:48) does not look convincing - clearly looks like the fluid is a separate layer from the girl. Some kind of glowing/deformation of the body might make that more convincing.
3. A portion of the girl's hand/arm is still visible after the disintegrating effect has passed over it (00:56). It looks like it's disintegrating, then a few frames later it looks more intact, then it disintegrates.
4. The particles that show the falling remains of the hands are falling almost in a straight line. If the fluids have turbulent motion, so should have the particles, although probably not as pronounced.
5. At the very end the remains of the body dissipate like confetti. You may want to create something more captivating.
6. Lighting - the sky over the city suggests that the lighting inside the dome should be less and not as constant and that the girl should be illuminated from the back.

enochian
11-09-2007, 04:41 AM
Thanks for all the great crits, it nice to have a fresh pare of eye look at things. your suggestion are a big help.

Ryan

whalerider
11-09-2007, 10:43 AM
You're welcome :-)

minkey
11-20-2007, 02:21 AM
Hey Ryan, I really like the concept of the work looks really cool and reminds me of the movie immortal.....(if you ever seen it) but I have to agree with the points that whalerider said and add a couple of point of my own.... once again this is just IMHO......and hey I've been wrong before.

the scene where the camera zoomes into the girl......she looks way to shiney and out of place to be in the dark corner of the temple.

When the she takes the "cape" off she looks like shes standing by one of the windows but when the camera shows the next "take" shes in the middle of the temple.

The temple with that much umm.... "art work" I would expect to have some detailed flooring like marble tiling or a cool looking carpet.

Not sure if the goal was to make it a prison and she is escaping the prision....but if not then there nees to be some kind of furniture or ummm stairs or elevator of some sorth =P

When the camera shows the girl the background doesnt seem to move as smooth as the camera rotation and the building rotation .... the building has a i would say black border which seperates it from its suroinding...... I would probably amplifile the light and change how she glows brighter.....and blare the background a bit so the focuse is on the girl and not whats behind her or sorounding her....this way the particals and the disintigration shows better.

Where does all that ash go??

the clouds are being blown East but the whisp is being blown south and the ash is going directly down....... which way is the wind blowing?

If you look at about the 40 second point the shadows are not working with the lighting... bright light coming in from the windows behind her in a downward left angle and the front light is on her from the downward right and the shadow on her clothing indicates otherwise.

I would probably recommand trying to give more of a motion blure to the particals (ASH)

At 54 seconds in the background looks bluish....but the sky was all red when the camera zoomed in and there was a light coming from her 90 degree....

and the last thing.....everything in the temple is reflecting on the black ground.....except for the girl. =P

hehe I hope you dont get offended from the things I listed here.....I'm really just trying to help as I would expect anyone else to do if I was in your spot. The fact is I LOVE YOUR CONCEPT, it is creative and open minded...it reminds me of one of my fave. CG movie which i believe was one of the first if not the first all green screen shooting........
Keep us updated on your progress..... have you thought about the music and sound you going to use yet?


Cheers.
Farhad M.

enochian
11-21-2007, 06:59 PM
Farhad M.

Thanks you very much for the very exstive crit on my work, I take no offense to the crit at all. We are all post here to get good crit like yours, thanks alot and you ideas will defently help me improve me reel.

Ryan

minkey
11-25-2007, 10:01 AM
no problem bud, thank you for not taking offend from it =P

Any updates on your progress on the finish work yet?

enochian
11-26-2007, 05:50 PM
Not yet, I just started to recomp every thing back together agin. I only have a few more weeks left in school. so I should have lot of new work reel soon

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