Shot For My Reel

[Abazaba]

The animation is silky smooth.... no crits there.

Its kind of hard to crit this piece without knowing what shes scared of. Is someone in the room, perhaps a nightmare?

If she is really scared, I think her feet would slip on the blanket. Her face looks terrified, but her body movements don't feel urgent enough.

I think the last pose is supposed to be relief that she is ok, but there is no anticipation for it. If she is hiding, maybee grab the pillow and hide behind that. Its hard to read the last pose

I definatly like what youve started here and eagerly await the finished short. Make sure to post when its done.

[Darknessseeker0]

Thanks Abazaba, I'm glad you like it!

The boy just woke up to find a monster standing at the end of his bed. I can upload the previous and following shots for continuty, but I really need this shot to work on its own since the recruiters wont see the others. His last pose is supposed to be him cowering like "please dont hurt me!". Everyone who I've shown this to has had some confusion about the last pose. Grabbing the pillow is a nice idea. I'm just wary of covering up the character face since that's usually something you're supposed to avoid doing. I'll push her antic and see how that helps things. Thanks again!

I'll be sure to post the finished short here, lol. I dont know when that'll be though.

[Radiospank]

the first jump on his bed he uses both legs... have u ever tried to do that ? its horribly awkward to do lol.. but u pull it off smooth as can be here.. i kno it creates variety since you already are doing a crab walk back . and maybe u dont want to the whole to the pillow.. but also when he looks right .. i dont get it.. why is he looking right if the monster is in front of him.... is that because hes looking for an escape... ? if so then maybe it wll make more sense when its all pieced together... anyway looks excellent so far.. good luck

[Darknessseeker0]

Thanks Radiospank! It was rather tedious getting everything to flow smoothly, but it looks like it was worth it, lol. The boy looks back to see how much space he has behind him to back up. He looks back after hitting the board to see if he can escape that way, but it turns out the window is too high. I guess that's not reading clearly. >_<

[Darknessseeker0]

Hey everyone. I've finally gotten a chance to update my shot. So far I've changed the last pose, animated his hair, and adjusted the timing of his second look back. Next I'll work on having his feet slide as he scrambles back. Thanks a bunch for all of your comments. I think the shot looks much better already. =D

http://studentpages.scad.edu/~jcofer20/s5RefiningReel.mov

[Kristofferic]

hello

i watched the shot, and overall i liked the acting... the one thing that caught my eye was the heavy breathing on the stomach. i think if you cut down on the breathing it could help the shot. goodluck with the rest of the short.

[CGTalk Moderation]

This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.