Something's not right...

[ramijames]

I think that there is a lack of detail in the clouds. It's important to keep a similar style across the piece. The people are painted in one style which is details, the clouds in another, which is not.

[evolvingeye]

Maybe some rougher texture to the chalk clouds, thats about all I can think of, cool piece.

[RicoD]

I'm not sure what you're trying to say or convey here. Maybe if you told us, we could make more constructive suggestions.

[Imagus]

The only thing that leaps out to me is the fact that the characters seem artifically separated from their environment. If this is intentional, then that's fine. However, they seem to be a separate element from the background, rather than a part of it.

However, I agree that a little more insight into what you are trying to achieve with this piece would be helpful in providing a more detailed critique.

[nblarson]

I agree with everyone else, the characters feel superimposed on the piece. I think the main problem is that the road sort of disappears. Perhaps if you threw in some texture and cracks into the chalked parts, it would solidify the piece.

[RicoD]

Some structural things then:
Her eyes look weird. Especially her left eye, which is too diagonal if you ask me. His arm is really thick, while he doesn't look fat. His arm is nearly as wide as her head is high. If you want to keep her left foot to be parallel to the road, you'll need to move her knee to the right. Or you could rotate her foot so you see the side more.

If the sun has this color, it's higher (though, still pretty low) than where you painted it. Shadows would be longer and more intense. You'd also have to paint the road gradually more yellow / orange towards the top.

If you were going for romantic or playful and passionate, maybe you should have her look more towards him. It wasn't clear to me at all that they were lying on the road. I thought he was molesting her or something and it made me wonder why you would use all those soft and warm colors. Until I noticed that he also had a crayon. Maybe you ought to give him a brighter one, preferably one that's also in the 'clouds', like that red one, which also happens to be symbolic for love. Anyone happens to know what lilac stands for? And then maybe put some red stripes on her and some extra green on him.

[Tattered_muse]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/syphons_myth/chalk.jpg

Okay, Made a few changes, based on your suggestions, and my own observations.

The cracks in the pavement were there, i just brought them to a higher layer. The clouds aren't supposed to be detailed, they're chalk sketches made by the two characters. I want them to be stylized. There is purple in the clouds, hence why he's holding the purple chalk. The only red in the piece is the ground shadows. I was really trying to avoid red because it's such a hostile color. Red is for really strong emotions, and there shouldn't be any in here. I'm still probably going to go back and subdue the red in the shadows even more.

I Lengthened the shadows, colored the guy's shirt, cleaned up lines, ect... Also, her foot is on the ground, but her knee has fallen inward, she's not holding it straight up and down, so her leg is bent slightly at the hip and ankle.

As for the context, it's really not supposed to be "Passionate". Think of it like this: Two normal people ((probably artists)) spend the afternoon drawing clouds in a parking lot with chalk. They're very comfortable around eachother, maybe just as friends, or perhaps lovers who've been together for a long time and have gotten past the "I love you- no i love you more!" phase. They've been talking, laughing, and just playing around for several hours, and the sun is getting low. The guy puts his arm across the girl's chest, and drags her down with him as he lays down. One ((Doesn't mater which)) sighes, smiles slightly, and just lets themself relax and soak up the fading warmth of the day. Both are thinking to themselves "Ah, so this is heaven." The piece should just feel warm, and comfortable.

[RicoD]

Okay, I see what you were getting at. That's a very detailed background ... a precious memory perhaps? I also understand the leg thing better now. Maybe if the light was different. I did a quick paintover as it's faster than typing the describtion of the little areas. It's a bit messy, but it's just to show what I want to point out. Just some changes in light / shadow that I think would be benificial. If you make the hands a bit looser, I think things look less 'forced'. It could also use some more shadowing around his lower leg and some extra shadow casting by the chalk box and her open arm and her torso, now that I look at it.

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s4/RicoD_PB/chalk_paintover.jpg

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