robotmod

[gordon-V]

hey guys!

after some work on the projekt i did a little pre-composition in fusion!

i got 4 lights in the scene. 3 pointlights for diffuse and highlights and one arealight for shadows

i really need some good critics! i want to archive a realistic look of the robot.

here is the image, thank you, gordon.

http://neok.de/robottestcomp.jpghttp://features.cgsociety.org/gallerycrits/229251/229251_1174088279_large.jpg
http://www.neok.de/robottestcomp.jpg (http://www.neok.de/robottestcomp.jpg)

[gordon-V]

ok rendered a test animation out of digital fusion this night!

i hope you like it, check it out here!

shot01test.avi (http://www.neok.de/shot01test.avi) 17.mb

crtics would be awsum!

geetings, gordon!

[chiodo]

hey gordon. welcome to the forum! :)

gordon as a nickname and a robot from hl, you're quite into
the game, eh?

as far as composition go, i would say you should work a little
on the wires, as well as on the moving arrow display. hey both
don't blend that well into the environment.

since it's a final project, i doubt that it's all about the composition
so i'm gonna say a bit about dramaturgy and timing if i may.
i think it's very odd, that the punchline (when the robots arm
falls off) is so little distinct from the rest. from what i see, the arm
falls off without any anticipation... and before the viewer
can even react, the guy on the controller walks off waving
his arms so unmotivated as if this has happened a thousand times
before. so, as far as i am concerned. more anticipation for the
punchline (make the arm go up, before it rapidly breaks down or
something along that line). more distinct, visible, emotional reaction
in the controller-guy (for example, shock, anger, dissappointment).
and definately a clear break between them. one thing after another
is a good rule to follow. arm fall. bam. emotional reaction, held
for so long that the viewer is able to capture it, since the
major focus had been on the robot until then, then make him walk
off and wave.
this is the major problem in my opinion - as it is now, there's
just no distinct end. it's kind of a dull "spannungskurve" (plot).
also when i might point out one more thing. it strikes me kind of
strange that his first actions seem more complex than what follows,
i.e. when he tries out different commands.

i hope this was clear and is of some help to you!
great work. keep it up!!

[gordon-V]

thanks for your critics chiodo!

yes i played the game more than once, but gordon isnt a nickname. its just my name! ;D

the animation isnt timed well thats right! i will work on that. the plate starts to early in the comp. it was difficould to time my reactions on the robots movments on set. i probably have some other shots of that scene i can use!

i totally agree on what u said about the arm comming of!
my idea was to ad some sparks before the arm pops out of the joint! maybe that will look a bit more belivable!

and for the overall "spannungskurve" there will be more shots where other things will happen!

i will post the next animation when its ready!

thanks for your reply!

greetings gordon!

[gordon-V]

well, its done! its not perfect, but its done. i wanted to change some parts, esspecially the animation, but i want to go on with different projects, and leave it as it is right now.

feel free to post you comments, i would apreciate it!

here you can download the final project!

its 53 mb, big

robotmod.avi (http://www.neok.de/robotmod.avi)

[ZephyrStar]

Looking pretty good, I would say dirty it up a bit. Also, maybe the bright green tanks could be dulled down, and the red arrows dulled down a bit as well. They just seem to stand out too much for a daylight scene, maybe the shadows a little darker. Looks pretty good, keep it up!

cheers

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