Hayseeds

[noouch]

I already like it a lot, hope there will be more! Pretty much the only crit i have is that the second robber comes in the door with a sort of "massive" feeling, hardly able to control his own weight, then starts pointing the gun totally snappy, with not much of a transition between chaotic and alert.

[imamog]

Thanks for the kind words noouch. I guess the feeling I was trying to communicate was the second baddie comes stumbling in and ends up in the wrong position, so he has to hurry up and get to where he's supposed to be. This causes him to over-compensate a little bit with his action when he arrives at his final position. I guess it didn't read as well as I hoped.


Justin

[Mendes]

I kind of like how the second robber is being a bit jumpy at "...everybody freeze". It's kind of a nice contrast between the two characters. But the way he initially enters looks a bit weird to me, although I didn't even notice it the first few times watching this. Just the way he slides in smoothly and then awkwardly carries his gun to the left. I agree with noouch that there should be a better transition between those parts or I would just even change his entrance completely. I'd probably make him come running in quickly, which would go along with him being the jumpy, trigger happpy guy pointing his gun everywhere really snappy, because right now his entrance just doesnt match up with that.

I'm also not too sure about the part where they first raise their arms. They're confused about the orders "is it freeze, or get down on the ground?" but they don't look like it at all. The guy on the right is looking up and looks really scared. Then it cuts to the robbers face. Then afterwards the guy all of a sudden has all this confidence to start talking with the robber. I'd have the two guys still looking shocked and scared, but i'd also have them look a bit more confused, and glance back at eachother sort of like "Uhh do you know what he's talking about?". That'd work so much better in my opinion.

One last little thing is just the way the guy swings his arms down and starts saying "well which is it young feller...". It looks really awkward. It's like how I was saying he's all terrified and looking straight up, then all of a sudden he has this confidence to start talking back to this robber. No throught process or transition inbetween except for his whole top half swinging forward for some reason.

Really good work though! But with some polishing up it could be that much better. I love the very ending part, "Okay then". Haha. Lookin forward to seeing more!

[imamog]

Thanks for the detailed critique Mendes. I definitely see what you're saying as far as making them look more confused. I'll try to post an update this weekend.

Thanks again.

[imamog]

Here's a new version of "Hayseeds."

http://www.justinbartholomew.com/animation/Hayseeds.mov

Thanks again to all who have commented so far.


Justin

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