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View Full Version : Character Monologue. PLEASE MAKE COMMENTS!!


Black_Fox
02-01-2007, 05:00 PM
Hello there folks and thank you for taking the time to watch this animation.
Its a 28 seconds animation of a character having a monologue (talking to a person we cant see).
I would like everyone to give me some creative criticism. Dont worry about hurting my feelings folks, be as hard on me as you like. :)

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l12/Black_Dog_2006/renderwithsssafter02.jpg

Click on the link to download the clip (4.3MB).

http://rapidshare.com/files/14419682/Near_Final_preview.rar

I will be happy to answer any questions you might have.

Thank you again for taking the time to watch this animation. :)

Dervish
02-02-2007, 09:12 AM
well, first off, that AAAH!-face in the end is great, but got some crits, the hole thing lacks continuity, therefore ya should work on the rough timing a lil more, also at one point theres a smileblendshape that comes wierdly after a talk, its a lil too slow and should transition directly from the vocal shape without going into a neutral first.

keep it up ;)

ps: try to use some different space than rapidshare where you can link a videofile directly.

cristis
02-02-2007, 09:29 AM
I try to download the archive but i can't.Something about the free dowanloader limit reached.Try this http://www.mydatabus.com/ instead.

Black_Fox
02-02-2007, 01:17 PM
Cristis, thank you very much for the link! Very useful.
I apologize for the trouple with rapidshare. I kinda figured it wouldnt work right.

This time though im uploading the rendered version of the animation.

THIS IS NOT THE ACTUAL RENDER SCENE! Just a fast render (10 hours). The final render is going to have sub surface scattering, final gather and motion blur (30 hours).

File size is 6.40 MB.

I wanted to make sure the lighting and shadows worked right. Im still not sure, i think its too dark when he bends over. What do you think?
Also the expression of his brows could be more intense. And last, i think the way his eyes move around when he panics should be more intense too. At first it was, but someone told me it seems like he's looking at the other guy's genitals (lol) and i changed it. But now im not satisfied with it.

Dervish, i agree with you on the continuity, that trouples me too. Somehow though i dont know where to turn to.
About the smile: you are talking about the part where he says *how are you?*. i think you are right on that and i fixed it like you said (not included on this render though. That was before i read your post).

This time i give two links. One of Mydatabus to download the file and one of YouTube, for those who dont feel like downloading it, they can directly watch the video there.

Mydatabus link >>>

http://www.mydatabus.com/public/FilthyVirus/z/test_render_animation.rar

YouTube link >>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPZ-gWQ-wjM


Thank you very - very much for you time. I realy appreciate it.

ErikSvensson
02-02-2007, 06:48 PM
Hey man.

First off, not bad at all. It's good as a start, especially the head, but I'd like to see some more body language though. Like when he says that thing in the end and he "backs off", have the arms more closed to his body and make him even more nervous. Also, make it more snappy like with his eye movement when he switch focus, like having the head move some snappish too.

I'll keep an eye on this, likes it so far.! :)

Cheers.

Erik

Black_Fox
02-06-2007, 02:13 PM
Wow. I got another reply! Im soo happy! :bounce:

ErikSvensson, thanks a lot for your comment. :)
Your observations are very good and would indeed improve the animation a lot.
BUT there are some problems >>>

As you said, it needs more body language. The original idea was that there would be a lot of hand movement and more specifically he would raise his hands in front of his face to protect himself when he screams in the end.

The problem is >>> his hands suck. :blush: I didnt model his hands right and they just look horrible. Thats why i decided to live them out and avoid showing them at all in the animation. As you understand that put a lot of restriction in how i was going to animate him.
Also he has no legs. There is nothing below his waist. At first i though it wasnt necessary to model them and that i could fake the movement but that easier said than done. :banghead:

One more final problem. The most major one. Time restriction. I have to deliver this by the 20th of this month (february) plus there is a second part in the animation that i have to work on and then theres the render time needed AND some time to process the final sound effects AND prepare myself for the presentation that day (plus book). Which means i got another ten days to work on the animation. :hmm:

Generaly im trying to understand what people look in an animation, which parts they pay attention to. That way i cant be carefull of those parts in future animations.



This time im uploading the first part again with a few small corrections here and there.

File size > 4.35mb

http://www.mydatabus.com/public/FilthyVirus/z/FirstPart-nearfinalversion.rar

or YouTube link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtXbBX7qtfQ

Also im uploading the second part of the animation. Im definatly going to update this by tommorow again. Let me know what you think of it while i still have time to make corrections on it.

File size > 1.52mb

http://www.mydatabus.com/public/FilthyVirus/z/SecondPart01.rar

or YouTube link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8N1tDWswds

I wanna tell you your replies made me very happy and i took them under serious consideration. I wasnt expecting any replies at all.

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