Greetings - 3d Crit - Salutations

[Verminator]

I dunno. It's a little guy wandering around a white background with his back to the camera most of the time. I'm not sure what he's trying to do or why he walks backwards occasionally. The animation isn't terrible, but it lacks that extra detail and secondary motion that makes great animation. I think that a visible ground plane might help it look better, or at least add the shadows as seen in the still pic.
I like the character and he looks well put together, you might want to make him face the camera a little more to show him off.

[struggler]

Yeah, I should've waited to upload this one. Now he's got some shadows and added some secondary animation to his cheeks.

Check it out again.

Its the last scene in the film and he's supposed to be lost and searching. I will upload some other clips that lead up to this one so it makes a little more sense.

-struggler

[Joel Hooks]

Mime Story:
First off your story is extremely lacking. What is this guy searching for? Why is he looking for it? What does it mean to him? Is it a bird?

Personally I think saying he is a "speaking mime" is a cop-out to avoid mime animation and replace it with speech. Lets see some "stuck in box" and "pulls on rope" tests. lets see why he got fed up with being a mime and started to talk again. Lets see him working a corner for handouts, and discover why he is so persistant with seeking out whatever it is he wants to find.

He seems to be an interesting character, but you should really put your head to it and figure out what motivates him, and then present that as a story idea. Watch some Chaplin for reference.

Your camera movements are pretty boring choices. This is were a real storyboard comes into play. Breaking down your shots and scenes on paper first.

Those soft bodies in the cheeks got to go. Even if he was 400lb lardo his cheeks wouldn't move like jello. Proper secondary movement would be in the nostils, ears, and subtle movement in the cheeks. Go make faces in the mirror for 15 minutes and check it out. Get a video camera and film yourself.

Demo Tape:
You are definitely on the right track, but your demo is so long between cuts. The characters would definitly benifit from some posing and maybe even a little animation. These days people like to watch fast paced cuts like commercials or MTV. Spinning a mesh for 20 seconds makes people lose intrest pretty quick, unless it's particularly amazing.

Your website also lacks clear navigation. It is pretty confusing.

--

I think you have much talent. I like the look of the scenes and characters, i just think you could dig a little deeper :)

Post more as your progress!

[struggler]

Thanks for the reply. I thought about making a mime who does mime things but I'm pretty sure we've all seen that. I'm an avid fan of Chaplin (Most of the mime's inspiration came from that.) As for digging deeper, I've been working on the story for about a year. I think some of the problem is I may have dug too deep. ;)
-struggler

[Joel Hooks]

I can't recall seeing much, if any, well done 3d mime work.

Do you have actual storyboards?

[struggler]

ya the only thing i member is the 6 armed bug in Bug's Life. But I'm not really interested in animating a mime doing mime things. The film is about setting things up and tearing them down. The mime is supposed to be trapped in a cycle, following a map but finally relizes this and goes and does his own thing, thus breaking him from the cycle.

I have some storyboards up on the site but, I've kinda wandered from it. Heres the link:

http://www.strugglesville.com/animation/themime/map/map.htm

He does not talk for the whole animation anymore. Only in the first scene.

Oh and thanks for the crit of the site. I've been meaning to redo it. I just redesigned it. Guess I just needed some good yelling at to do it.
-struggler

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