"Pekoe" - VFS Animation Reel

[Myzer]

I like the concept and it's beautifully done.:love:
Keep on going!:)

[TehYeh]

Murakami, it turned out well!

I liked your intro, great intergration of the toolbox and titles.

I think the colors feel sorta flat, the DOF is helping but since its a cute reel, I would imageine to see the colors stand out more, again, its your art direction, so you must know what you want.:)

[Zoober]

Hey Yuko,

I really liked your story. It reminds me of those classical children's book fairytales.

Your animation has come along way over the last few months, it's great to see how much you've improved. I look forward to seeing what you do next as your skills continue to grow.

[KOKE]

Hey Yuko, that was a really cute piece of animation.
I like the story, its simple, but works.

As Nathan said, your animation has come a long way since we started, so you can be proud of it :thumbsup:.

The rendering for this piece has also improved a lot since the last presentation.

Nice job Yuko.

Best of luck.

JK.

:D

[nicoGuy]

Nice :) kept it up!

[Yuko]

Myzer:Thank you for the first comment! I'm glad you liked it. Hope to see your work here soon too.

Teh Wei Yeh: I see what you mean. I needed the fresh eyes like yours. Thanks a lot!

Zoober: Thank you for your comments and thanks again for offering me the webspace!

KOKE: I didn't have any confidence in my render, so that means a lot to me. Thank you.

nicoGuy: Thanks, I will!!:thumbsup:

[Annhialator]

It's one of those stories that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.... kinda nostalgic of the kids' fairytales i use to watch on Tv and believe me you don't get a lot those very often with a refreshing perspective.But what's also impressive is how you were able to keep the mood right for the entire short Great shots and compositions!

You've improved a lot Yuko for the past 6 months can't wait to see more of your stuff in the future :)

[som3d59]

Yuko...it's awesome! I used to say your story is probably the best in class and I still mean it.
With this strong idea, I think actually the rendering and lighting can bring it even more dreamy and beyond imagination. But right now, the animation and storytelling is very well done already. I love it. :thumbsup:

I'm sure you'll get job soon, either here or Japan or even the Us. So don't worried too much and keep in touch.

[p4roxysm]

Hey Yuko, its great to finally see your animation! I love the opening and the closing credits a lot. The story is great too. My only crits are to do with color and lighting, which was already commented on. Anyway, keep up the good work!

[GoldenCamel]

I watched it with no sound and still the story came through. Good job there, some of the camera angels and shot composition were too extreme, generaly i didn't see a consistent director's vision throughout, it was like each couple of shots were borrowed from a film (Pinochio, toy story 2 and the down shot of the stairs looked like a Hitchcock film) but overall, i would say story was good for a VFS film, much better than the rest ive seen here.

animation, not enough exaggeration, too even timing, could have broken up the timing, to give it more contrast. Maybe it was a modeling/rigging issue but the hand weren't expressive enough and the poses not good, look at the trailer for the rat movie from pixar, see how the hand at the beginning is animated, expressive, nice poses, contrast in timing, lots of overlap.

spacing had a lot of issues as well, not enough squash and stretch, specialy on that jump to grab the rope. The take when he sees the time has stoped doesnt have enough snap, see victor Navone's blog for a tutorial on how to make great takes. also, not enough weight on the kid or the moon, although the push at the end was almost there.

there were some good anticipations but i would have pushed them more, in timing and poses.

the final sitting pose through the end credits could have been made more lively perhaps if you added some leg action, swinging back and forth, it feels a bit dead.

the shot where he opens the big door, that was probably your best animation, maybe a little more force on the kid's part and a bit more hold on the closed door and a snap as it bursts open would have made it better.

the cuts were good overall, although in film grammer, they say you shouldnt cut from a moving shot to a static shot, becasue eye has trouble adjusting.

as for animation, i would suggest going back to bouncing balls, and practice your timing and spacing, for directing and film grammer read Sandy Mackendrick On Film-Making and a book called Five C's of cinematography, can't remember the author name. for more animation wisdom, see eric Larson's notes over at animationmeat.com

good luck

[BGLooney]

as for animation, i would suggest going back to bouncing balls, and practice your timing and spacing,

Pay no attention Yuko, this guy has lost ALL credability in previous threads. If he spent 1 tenth of the time animating as he does posting scathing critiques, he might actually have a body of work to back up his ego. Golden Camel is an apt name as he's become a nomad searching for anyone who will believe he can walk the walk.


As for your peice, I really enjoyed it. I think you captured a real inocence with your story. Some great shot selections and you've come SO FAR with your animation. I know being in a class with guys like Carlos, Lloyd, and Nate is tough for young animators, but your short has really grabbed peoples attention. I honestly dont know of many shorts from our class that TELL a story the way yours does, and thats awesome. Definately keep it up!

If there was one thing I think would really have helped it though, I think it would be a larger library of face shapes. I believe you knew what to do with the character, but were unable to portray it due to a lack of emotive options on the model.

Take care, and good luck!

[Xeoxi]

WOw, talk about taking the cake for the story, Man It doesn't matter if your on the payroll of some big studio, or watching ya work on a 50 foot tv with 60 people, That is awsome, man my kid LOVED IT, talk about giggles!

Great Job!

[GoldenCamel]

Pay no attention Yuko, this guy has lost ALL credability in previous threads. If he spent 1 tenth of the time animating as he does posting scathing critiques, he might actually have a body of work to back up his ego. Golden Camel is an apt name as he's become a nomad searching for anyone who will believe he can walk the walk.

I've avoided getting back to you so far becasue there was no point on my part and I think the individual thread should stay on subject but I'm afraid you've carried it too far this time.

If you knew anything about animation and film-making, you would have seen that my previous critique for this short is pretty much on target, honest and true. Show the film to any disney or pixar animator and they will tell you exactly what I said, that he needs to practice his timing and spacing and the best way to do that is going back to bouncing balls.

You think having made some geometry move on your computer has made you an animator and you have the right to hammer anyone here just because they wouldn't PROVE themselves to you or because you haven't seen something they've animated? Well, guess what, I don't give a damn about what you think of me, and I don't give a sh** wether you think i can back up my ego or not, the fact is that I'm a good animator and I know it becasue I have a job doing features and you don't, you can go on believing whatever you want to believe, but don't think you can go on insulting me on each thread and get away with it.

If the poster of this thread wants to become a good animator, disney quality animator, he would go back and practice the principles, but if he wants to become just another generalist out there, he should definitly ignore my crit and listen to you.

[BGLooney]

Show the film to any disney or pixar animator and they will tell you exactly what I said,

You know, I think this sums it up for me guy. Obviously everyone needs to consider the basics, fundamentals need to considered at all times. But the fact that you could be SO egocentric as to believe your advice is EXACTLY what Pixar and Disney animators would say floors me! I'm not going to respond to much else on here except your CLAIM to be working in feature animation. Please tell us where we can look for your credits. Last I heard, something about some ulta secret Ice Age 2 project??

[Yuko]

Annhialator: Hey, Rawad. Thank you for the comments. Not only this past 6 months, but this year has been really intense, super busy, challenging time. We survived, huh?

som3d59: Arigato! Without your help, I couldn't tell story as well as right now. You are the master of story telling for me!

p4roxysm: Great to see you here! Thank you for the comment.

Golden Camel: Thank you for the detailed critics. I'll keep learning!!

BGLooney: Thank you for your comments. About the face shape, I have to admit there was not enough shapes do to the limitation of the big head guy with big separate eyes. If you design a character next time, I strongly recommend you not to use big head with separate eyes like mine. Peace!:)

Xeoxi: Thank you very much! Your comment made me a HUGE smile!!:D Be loved by kids is for me the greatest pleasure as a story teller. Thank you and your kid sooooooo... much for watching my piece.

[Heber]

come on guys this isnt a pissing contest, dont ruin this persons thread now :)
I think the critiques were honest and in good spirit , i am not even an animator and i could spot similar areas that needed improvement as camel mentioned so lets just be a bit more thick skinned and learn from others.
I do have to say that from attending vfs i learned that not everyone making an animated short is in it to learn how to become the best animator.
Some of my classmates were there for the sole purpose of telling a story or becoming a better storyteller and i think thats a valid reason to do it.
I really enjoyed your story and had actually wished it had gone on a bit longer very nice work my only major critique is that your lighting could of been given a bit more love.
Cheers.

[LloydColaco]

[ (Pinochio, toy story 2 and the down shot of the stairs looked like a Hitchcock film) but overall, i would say story was good for a VFS film

whats thats supposed to mean??? there are BIG directors today that are highly inspired by Hitchcock...so, so what if it looks a Hitchcock film.

and "i would say story was good for a VFS film" ...hmmmm ...ya thats funny!


Anyways,..yuko..sweet story, and from the animation POV...you've improved alot!
keep goin!

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