Plz critique my Basic Animation

[mandeep]

fixed the link sorry for the trouble guys !!

Basic Jump

http://www.4shared.com/file/3228104/...icjumpv10.html (http://www.4shared.com/file/3228104/ee135110/basicjumpv10.html)


Punch

http://www.4shared.com/file/3230327/...dapunchv5.html (http://www.4shared.com/file/3230327/be7cb719/dapunchv5.html)


here are the mov links

Basic Jump

http://www.4shared.com/file/3258452/ceec1e9b/basicjump.html

Punch
http://www.4shared.com/file/3258571/64114794/punch.html
cheers
Mandeep

[Harregarre]

As for the basic jump:

Look at the force from the feet. It looks like he's only pushing off with his left foot (the red one, that is). It is good to avoid twinning but you have to let the blue foot stay there for a little longer otherwise it will look like he's jumping on one leg.

As for the punch:

His arm is too slow. When you punch you never put your head forward like that. It will render you helpless to punches by the other guy. The movement itself is good although I think he's leaning forward a bit too much. You use your body mass to put real power behind your punches so it might be better to make him lean less. But most important is that you should move the arm forward before the head goes forward.

Hope this helps,

Harregarre

[mandeep]

hey Harregarre,

thanks alot for the critique man .... well i agree with your comments only after ur post i can see the stuff u said ..... he he well that's y there are critiques !!


anyways will do the changes as suggested .......


Cheers
Mandeep

[Harregarre]

Love to see the changed ones. :) :thumbsup:

P.s. Hehe, yeah that's the great thing about these forums. Other people spot things you didn't notice before. :)

[mandeep]

hey guys here is my update

this is the jump
http://www.4shared.com/file/3358055/...icjumpv11.html (http://www.4shared.com/file/3358055/9cddf041/basicjumpv11.html)

here is my new one

http://www.4shared.com/file/3358202/...atterouch.html (http://www.4shared.com/file/3358202/7c4a45c9/batterouch.html)

well i have decided something else for the girly punch will post that later

tell me wat u think

cheers
Mandeep

[Harregarre]

I'm sorry but I still feel the same about the jump, it's better than the previous one but it still lacks a certain weight and the right foot is still almost unused. It reminds me of an animal jump, not a human one.

[mandeep]

Ouch ............ hmm well can u be a little specific i think u r refering to the lift off yeah i'll post my update nd wat abt the batter ....... tell me abt that too man

cheers
Mandeep

[rstratton]

I would be glad to critique the jump for you if you want but I will need a better/larger render of your animation. Also if you could give me a perspective angle shot that would be nice also. Remember to not take critics personal also they are to help you learn we all get our work criticized.

Something else that needs to be said is that you need to really look at the work and the credentials of the person who is giving you critiques. This is nothing personal to anyone because I love this forum but there are mainly students and people who want to get into 3d in one form or another who are on these forums so just because they give you a critic doesn't mean its correct. If you don't mind having more professionals look at your work then go to here: http://cgchar.toonstruck.com/ you will get a more professional opinion there.

[mandeep]

hey idigm i would love to hear from you . well i kind of agree as i m a self tought animator this the only way to learn ..........there is one more thing well i have some bandwidth problem with my internet connection i have tried to upload the high res file bt it breaks mid way as these are the only files i can upload that kind of sucks though something is better then nothin ...........

here is some more fixed ones shorts
Basic jump
http://www.4shared.com/file/3394542/924fc4f1/basicjumpv31.ht ml (http://www.4shared.com/file/3394542/924fc4f1/basicjumpv31.html)

Batter guy
http://www.4shared.com/file/3394490/c82db1a7/batterv31.html

ps: well abt the batter guy i still have to work on the secondary movements of the fingers and pretty much the hands ....

Cheers
Mandeep

[rstratton]

Well I will do my best but with them this small it is hard to see everything.....

Ok on the jump, I do want to say it’s a really good start, now on the the critique...one of the first things I would like to point out is the stiffness of the body. You have all this movement and force but the torso/spine stays relatively in the same position throughout the entire move, the head is suffering from this some also. Ok on the initial landing the left/far leg needs to start stretching out for impact right now its in the same position from the top of the arch of the jump to the landing when you need both legs to absorb that landing. Next when he is jumping to need to leave the left/far leg on the ground till it is fully extended so that it looks like character has weight and is pushing that weight up into the air, also he would be on the ball of that foot when he is extended. His flight through the air isn't that bad, it will be a lot better once you loosen up the spine. He is doing the same thing though with his left foot when he is coming down, you need to start extending it some for impact instead of keeping it pulled up toward his body. When the character hits and rises up into his final position its to linear, just look at the waist it translates strait up which would never happen. He needs to be a little farther forward when he lands, then he comes backward to try and get his weight correct, and then he can go to a standing position. I would also on both landings suggest moving his weight forward just ever so slightly. Well I think that is probably enough on the jump for now.

I didn't have the time right now to check out the batter but I will try and look at that later and get back to you on it. I hope that I have helped.

[mandeep]

hey thanks man for the comments will post my update version ........ waiting for the nxt one

[rstratton]

Ok on the batter...its really small but I will try my best.....

First it seems to have the stiff spine like your jump, you really need to loosen it up because it looks like you are going for cartoony animation so you are allowed to exaggerate. If you need to move the feet to get that pull back before the swing then do it. I think it would look a lot better if he stepped back while he was winding that swing up for the hit. When he swings its really week to, you need to work on the pose and the timing, its way to slow. Remember to that when you do anything with your arms most of the time you are moving your clavicles, its found that most new animators just rotate the arms at the shoulder for everything when you need to get the clavicles in there. If you need an example stand in front of a mirror and hold your arms above your head, or just straight out and see how much is shoulder rotation and how much is clavicle rotation. Also if he was stepping forward from the step back of the anticipation then the swing would look more like he was really putting some power into it. When the batter is being hit by the ball is a little confusing to me, so I talked it over with my office mate and he we came to this conclusion. Your ball seems to be coming in at an angle, which if its a pitch it would be coming straight at the guy. So we believe that if you have it come in straight at the guy then you won't have to pull him down as far and the knock backwards would read a lot better. Right now it looks like he is trying to field the ball with a bat because of the angle the ball is coming toward him at. I would say once you get that fixed then see what it looks like to have him react a little longer to the hit before flying backwards, and longer could mean just a few frames.

I do want to say though you have some really good starts to be new to animation and self taught, I wish I had caught on that fast...lol. Well I hope this was helpful and just let me know if I can help any further.

**Also I try and spell check everything before I post so please forgive me if I missed something**

[mandeep]

Hey thanks Randy that was really nice of you .... your commetns have been really helpfull, i agree with what you said and i think i need to do more planning and observation before jumping on to make them..... well i am new and i am learning ... will post the changed updates sooon hope will not disappoint you

thank you once again Randy :D

Cheers
Mandeep

[CGTalk Moderation]

This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.