Eye upon my Soul (Mesmer-Eyes Pt.1), Cem Tezcan (3D)

[BlockMind]

Here is the lo-res bump map and the empty scene.

http://www.blockmind.net/images/hole_texture_lr.jpg

http://www.blockmind.net/images/ems03.jpg

[Muthauzem]

Wow man... It's crazy but it's a nice picture :D

But I don't know.. I guess it should have some different colors. mainly the guy... that gray material is not good to me. Maybe the eye should be more lighter too, to looks like the end of the tunel or something like that...

A motion blur would be nice too. And maybe a Lighting coming fron the eyes and effecting the lens. I would try those things...

But in general its cool :)

Bye

[echoBars]

Really good concept. The background/tunnel does look like one giant eye, some colour might make it even clearer. Even if it's intended to be black and white it could use detailed texturing, lighting and motion blur. Keep improving it. It's too good a concept to leave unfinished

[BlockMind]

Thanks friends, especially for your suggestions. It's always the same, the concept is good but work is not good enough because yet the same to my other projects I have failed to express the feeling to you again I think. And the reason is my lack of modelling and texturing experience I think as far as I love this scene :)

But it was my choice to use flat and gray textures (also the white eye holes of the body that falls). Because it is a soul, not a material body. He has no ears and chest points or teeth anyway. Also this is not a human body modelling scene. The goal was to show you the eye ball illusion that I thought I had caught.

I have had a time to trace the votes till the project had been put here and saw that the votes were just 1 stars and 4-5 stars. Not middle ratings. By considering (or assuming) the 4 and 5 stars come from my friends I can clearly say "don't make the votes fool you", it is a 2 star work for me. But at least show some respect and write down your feelings about this rather than to give 1 star and run(!). Because as I mentioned before c&cs are the precious ones for me.

Thanks again and I'm waiting for further thoughts of yours.

[Per-Anders]

Alright, so you want feedback. Well I'm goign to be honest with you here, your image bites. Argh that's not nice to say! Why does it bite? And how can you improve it? Well there's no nice way of putting it, but here's the useful stuff, why and how:

First off, your image has more interest to you in relation to your own dream than it does as a functioning visual construct - Meaning : It's not very interesting compositionally.

It's a grey inflatable love-person possibly floating down a grey tube with some grey rubbermaid gloves poking out the side. Heck I bet if you pressed the little grey button a little grey light would light up...

So based on some assumptions from your thread title, and your posts, we'll say that you were falling down into your own eye that looked like a tunnel with hands coming out trying to grab you as you fell. How do we make this image reflect that?

First off your composition is drab and dull, there's no feeling of speed or motion, there's no sense of depth. The guy is just floating, the tunnel is just that, a tunnel. How can you improve this? Start by considering a different camera angle and camera lens setting. Then maybe you'll want to work on methods of enhancing a sense of motion, a moving camera wiht some motion blur perhaps.

With the depth it's about the placement of objects as much as DOF and depth fog/haze effects. Right now you've got a little guy sat all alonesome in the bottom corner of your image. I mean this guy is meant to be having a bad time here! He's meant to eb the focus, so use him,he is after all just another oebjct in your scene, position him in a dynamic way that leads you into the frame and into the scene, that directs your eye twoards the impending doom, and enhances the sense of perspective. Maybe draw it out in 2d first, just thinking about the silhouete of the guy and how the image can be based around that form.

If needs be offset the center a dead on center image needs to have a very strong composition and break up to work well, right now you don't have that.

Now on the technical side of things.

The models are terribly weak. You should practice at organic modeling before attempting to post a human again into the finished gallery. He's blocky and lacks proportion and definition, maybe this is your first attempt at a human, if so then it's ok but you have to keep on practicing and improving till you can get something that represents hat you have in your head. I would suggest also perhaps taking up life drawing classes to improve your anatomical knowledge.

According to your viewport renders you have here you ahve far too much geometry doing nothign at all in your tunnel. Dump it, only model what needs to be in view, forget everything else. Keep it only high res where it needs to be, i.e. close to teh camera, anyythign further away drop and use placards (textures on single polygons), and lwoer res meshes with.

Texturewise well there's nothign really here. Start to work with color, even if that means coloring in afterwards in photoshop! Get some textures and explore them. It will make your images much more interesting.

The lighting is flat and dull and like a default light setup. Lighting adds focus and life to an image. You need to start lighting things properly using light and shadow to bring what you do to life. I would suggest getting involved in the challenges the lighting challenges and so on in the lighting forums here. This will help you to make your images more worth looking at. It's an essential part of composition.

Keep working at it, this is very much a WIP still, it's only one step from a viewport render, it looks hurried and unfinished, take your time over these things, dont' be in too much of a rush to get that image out there. Instead get the image right then get it out there.

[kabojnk]

Looks like an unfinished shot from Lawnmower Man.

Needs a lot of work in several areas, but it looks like you have the idea in your head of what you want accomplished. Just apply it and see it through.

[Zerflag]

IDA, I'm with a lot of the people here. This is a good concept, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.
It could be cool to just leave the man as a blowup sort of model, as he's been refered to in other posts. But only if you have a reason for doing it, and that reason is obvious to the viewer as well. As it is, you've said it's because of lack of modeling practice. You've also said that the point is the tunnel, not the figure. This begs the question, why have the figure in there at all? If he's not the point of the image, and he doesn't fit (because he really doesn't, the visual treatment of the figure vs. the rest of the image is completely separate).

He looks sort of pasted on. Also, his placement results in a lack of depth that could be created from your eye/tunnel image on its own.

So, my recommendation, don't give up on the image, it's a good beginning, but right now, there's no reason for you to really call it finished besides that you're tired of working on it.
Oh, and add some color, even if it's sepia rather than grey. And more white, your only white right now is the eyes on your subpar figure. Which means that the viewer's eye is going to go there.

Here's how it works in image composition:
Any time there's a figure in the image, the eye goes there.
It doesn't matter if it's not in the center.
Other rules:
the eye goes towards area of greatest contrast

and the eye goes to converging lines.

Which means what in your image?
Well,your figure is
A: in the center
B: there are a bunch of converging lines pointing straight at his head
C: there's high contrast because his eyes are the only white in the image, and then you have the black of the tunnel/eye pupil right next to it and
D: he's the ONLY figure in the image.

So.... pretty much, the viewer looks at him and says, "why the heck does he look so crappy? it's a shame that he's there, because the tunnel looks sort of cool".
maybe not what you wanted to hear, but hopefully helpful to you anyway

[BlockMind]

That was exactly what I want. There's no need to have polite compliments on a bad work. I am glad to hear your professional opinions once again. I believe I have caught really expert suggestions here. I have filtered some of them to manage to apply or get inspired. And updated the result.

p.s. Sorry to convert here into W.I.P. section once again...
And also great thanks to everyone who has shared their thoughts and will share in future. Your thoughts caused great will on me to work with this scene.

Always a pleasure to know your c&cs.

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