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SkyZero
06-25-2006, 08:18 PM
Hey everybody!

This is my first(ever) dialogue test that I just turned in at school. I know it still needs some work and wanted to put it up here for comments and crits. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated! One specific part (of the many that still need work) I'm curious about is if the point at the end feels a bit soft in your opinion? I have one week off of school before our next class starts and want to spend some of it improving this shot so any help would be much obliged!

Some notes regarding the rig, it has basic facial controllers. So there are only basic eyes, eyelids, and puppet mouth controllers.

http://www.myanimatedworld.com/images/polish_pass_web.mov (http://www.myanimatedworld.com/images/polish_pass_web.mov)

neonoodle
06-25-2006, 10:07 PM
hey, nice work. I'd say you should put a little more anticipation on the hand coming on the hip on frame 54. I think the elbow on that pose could come out a bit more to emphasize the silhouette a little better. The move on frame 80 where he pushes away from the door seems a bit "sticky" as he sticks to the door and then breaks off. I think what's causing that is his sharp head movement from 82 - 86. Maybe have his head either start that move earlier so it's a smoother transition, or make it follow through further so that it reaches the 86 extreme a few frames later. Also, I'd keep the hand that he pushes off from up for a few frames more instead of coming down right away. One more thing that stood out for me was the pose on 153. His left hand arched back like that seems a bit unnatural. I'd reverse the rotation on that so it's pointing inward if you want to keep the fist, or if you want to keep that rotation, I'd suggest loosening the hand. If you decide to rotate the fist inward, then I'd also suggest reversing the arc so that it goes down then up into the pose instead of up then down. As for the point at the end, I did feel it was a bit loose. It also seems like he goes from the previous pose to the point very abruptly. I think you should throw his thought process in a bit earlier - maybe have him curl down his brows into an angry pose before he begins moving into the point.

Hope that helps!

SkyZero
06-26-2006, 06:19 PM
Wow, thanks for the great feedback on the shot! I see what you mean on the parts you pointed out(especially the sharp head movement) and will work on applying those changes and seeing how it turns out. I can't curl his brows on the rig right now, it's a pretty limited rig this time around. When we get the full-fledged facial rig, I'll try out your suggestion about showing the thought process earlier. :wip:

Thanks again for the help! :thumbsup:

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