View Full Version : The little elephant that could...
06-18-2006, 06:00 AM
Hi, thanks for taking the time to view this animation. I am currently finishing up my associates in computer animation at Full Sail Real World Education. This animation is for my DEMO. I would love to get some critiques please. I'm new to the art of animation, and i need all the help i can get.
MODEL by Jessica Dunbar
RIG by Michael Corinella
06-19-2006, 10:15 AM
Seems harsh that you have no comments for this yet. The model & more especially the deformations look very good on this. I'm not quite advanced enough in animation to really critque this - I can say that nothing stands out as being majorly wrong but it feels like it could just be tightened up for a bit more impact.
The part where his rear legs scrabble in the air works well, I don't think it needs changing.
I can see you've made an effort to show the weight on the initial jump but I feel it needs even more of a feeling of weight here. Perhaps you could go lower on landing & take more time to have him come up again ? Also, I wonder if one leg should trail behind the other more here, turning it into more a step than a standing jump.
I think perhaps the part where he lands on his belly could be enhanced by making the slip / fall a bit more sudden to emphasise the impact.
I hope this helps somewhat. Good work !
06-19-2006, 09:28 PM
Awesome! I like it alot. I love the extra detail in the ears and trunk as he moves, and the model and deformations are amazing! The only thing i saw was that the ear goes through his shoulder when he falls towards the end of the sequence, which is a shame cos they move so nicely the rest of the time.
Can't wait to see the final! :)
06-20-2006, 12:43 PM
I hadn't yet advanced to animation, but i'd like to criticize aswell.
The model looks great and animation is flawing - but it's getting better from the middle (beside the ears that kinda ruins it, but apart from that it's all great).
In the first half, a few things i'd like to point out:
To add to the weight factor, I think lowering his head and body after he lands (aka he will be looking towards the floor) could help. Plus it could give a headstart for the rising up.
I noticed in the beginning that the frontal legs are barely moving. I think making them move upwards would help the sensation of jumping far (for an elephant that is).
I think that after he fell, and the first tower thingy starts to fall, one of the back legs is moving a little bit too fast.
Also, in the part where he falls - it seems like what blocks his falling in the first tower is his tail and only a bit of his body.
But it looks great anyway, and good luck!
06-20-2006, 04:28 PM
wow, hey that animation is pretty good.
the model and rig are great. Is it yours?
06-20-2006, 06:15 PM
thank you all for your critiques. The rig is not mine, it was modeled by Jessica Dunbar and the Rig is by Michael Corinella (www.kaffeenBuzz.com (http://www.kaffeenBuzz.com))
the Rig and the model are both a dream to work with, the deformation is very good and the rig doesn't brake. As for the animation, I will take all the critiques into consideration and will try to implement your ideas. Please point out every single little thing you can find wrong with the animation.
06-21-2006, 01:28 AM
Hi Nice work. I would say that the timing feels good, and it is a good solid rough pass. If you isolate the torso (and forget about the head, legs and tail for a moment) you can get a bit more flexible in your rotations,... turning the body more. On top of that is your limbs, head and tail. I believer on the head you can have more drag... especially going up and down during the jump. The tail's drag doesn't seem to follow the body exactly right. The drag seems early during the anticipation to the jump. The legs need a bit more push off and impact to sell his thrust and weight. Make sure you have good contact frames when the foot is landing and pushing off.
You animation is good. With a few of the things mentioned it will really sell the action.
Thanks for listening.
06-22-2006, 01:24 AM
well first off, this is looking really good so far. the first thing that stands out is your contact position for the front two legs on the first jump. they should be fully extended, like you have the back legs doing. he should be reaching out for the ground. this will give him more weight.
the secondary motion on the ears is great. the trunk needs some work, but i wouldn't touch that until you have the head working. on the landing it's a bit wonky. the overlapping of the head as it lands could be a bit more extreme. also, i'd have the body drop down a bit more, so give more weight. this is tricky cuz it's a freakin' elephant. i'd also make the dip down before he rears up on his hind legs a lot more extreme. he's really gonna need to gather all his weight to lift himself up, and right now it's a bit lacking.
everything after that is looking pretty good. i really like the dangling feet. nice work.
06-24-2006, 09:14 PM
Hi, here is an update on the elephant animation. I made the changes based on the critiques you guys gave me. Thanks for helping me out and please find more wrong things with it so i can make this as close to industry quality as i can.
06-27-2006, 11:38 PM
hey guys, can I get more cirtiques on this new version of my Elephant Jump.
06-28-2006, 09:33 AM
Hey, this is looking great! Really nice work and you've got great followthrough on the landing. The main comment I'd make is the back feet landing after the jump are too soft because of the timing/spacing and it takes away from the feeling of weight. The back feet take 2-3 frames to settle when I might put a bigger space and just land in one - hopefully that makes sense. Basically I mean take out 2 frames when the back feet land.
Really great stuff, I'll watch for more from you!
07-02-2006, 08:04 AM
just want it to give you guys an update. Thanks to your guys critiques, I was able to take this animation to the next level. I have gotten really good critiques.
Thanks again and please let me know if there is anything else I should change
07-05-2006, 09:37 PM
looks great! I love the sad glance at the camera before the fall. Weight seems to work well.
Also huge props to your modeler and rigger
07-05-2006, 11:03 PM
hey there jtiger01. it's coming along pretty well.
a few things that stuck out to me:
1. When he lands the first jump and his body is rotating down and then back up from the weight, it looks like he's hitting a wall when he comes up. You should go into the graph editor and ease into that up position. right now he's hitting it pretty hard. i'm sure you'll be able to see it in your curves.
2. I'd give a little more overlapping action to the head on the jump landing. That'll increase your weight.
3. I'd also give the body and head a little more overlapping action on the stand-up movement, have them follow behind a bit more instead of the whole body coming up at once.
4. The fall down after the stand-up has a lot of problems. for one, there's a weird pop on the head. the body and head really need to come crashing down and probably bounce on the pedestal once, to show that weight.
The arms and legs look pretty good. I think it's mainly the overall movement of the body and head that you really need to get in and re-examine. having said all that, this animation is really close to looking great. just a few tweaks here and there. you should see if you can post a movie with a frame-count on it. that'll make it a lot easier to point out where certain problems are. keep on truckin!
I'd only say that maybe more movement on the head could suggest more weight....for instance when it crashes on the flat surface of the pillar. I think this would add up a lot more to your work.
07-27-2006, 08:05 PM
here is an update of the elephant animation. Thanks to Capel for the excellent feedback.
07-30-2006, 08:37 AM
cool! i saw this a few days ago in someones modelling reel :) very well modelled/rigged elephant! and your animation is coming along VERY well! i love all the subtle giggles and weight distribution.. looks so real in some parts, yet still stylized! :thumbsup: good work!
now my only suggestion is to check out right after he lands on the 2nd pillar.. his head does this wierd snappy thing when it follows through. the head goes up, then down, but back up a little too fast and awkwardly. that just stood out to me as strange. also, now that i'm lookin at the initial jump, it could use more of a hold on the anticipation. the thrust is there, but it doesnt look like he has time to build up to jump as high as he does. just my opinion :D anyway awesome work! looks great!
07-30-2006, 07:28 PM
I would whip the head forward maybe 2-3 frames earlier to show where the weights goings when he jumps. All in all I think the animation is a little to fast after the jump. He seems to be acting like a really heavy cat instead of a elephant. You can see this if you look at the trunk right before he stands. It seems to pick up un-natural velocity. I would show the force probably by making the trunk swing farther in before the stand. Also when he stands i would think that the trunk would continue up above his head instead of staying parallel with the body. Its not very clear that he’s knocked over the pedestal.. You might want to make his foot actually push it over. Also his head seems to be delayed when he falls. Probably want to bring the key frames in sooner there.
The exit is a good idea. I would probably make his face be shown clearer and quicker. Maybe consider adding some front leg movement on the fall?
All together thou, awesome idea. Quick and shows great weight transfer.
08-01-2006, 12:35 PM
I also agree to friends here may be if you try to go for longer anticipation to show some heavy wheight and give the elephant good choice of jumping or not and after he did he falls that will make it definately 100% funny.
08-03-2006, 12:19 PM
Hi jtiger01, very good animation... I like the first animation better, where the legs keeps kicking all the way down, I think is more funny, it kind of keeps the desperation... but very good animation, I like it :-)
08-04-2006, 04:17 AM
allright, here's my 2 cents =)
first off, linear the translate Y when the foot lands on the ground so they dosen't slow in like that,u will feel the weight much more whit a real stamp from the feet. the wieaght from the head and spine seem to be coming to late, i think 2 frames earlier will be better and also i can't realy the the offset between the spine joints and between the spine and head when he lands.
i think a few more frames on the anticipation in the beginning will give him more weight like someone allready said.
when he trips and falls on his belly i would like again to see more offset between the spine joints and between the spine and head, especially the head. some thing when he lands the second time and i also think the head should be landing 2 frames sooner.
other then those small crits its a very nice animation, well done and good luck whit your reel =)
08-04-2006, 04:17 AM
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