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petertan
05-30-2006, 04:48 AM
Hi ppl,

So I made some major changes to my 10 sec club entry. I wanna push it (in terms of animation and acting) as much as possible so any crits will be much appreciated. I'm not sure about the current camera work though so it's probably not final. It's late and i wanna sleep....

original entry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0gx48NoX6Q

REDO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGu_XZ5I394

Thanks for looking!

-pete-

NeonGod
06-04-2006, 10:32 PM
LOL love the tall dude, esp his eyebrows. they work really well! he could have a bit more "outgoing" body language, maybe waving his hands to get attention or looking in different directions like at a live audience. have a look at some hyperactive stand-up comedians :-)

the blue dude seems a bit too still but I understand that his part would be very very hard to act... I wouldn't know what to do with him throughout the scene. maybe he could start watching his hands or something to show that's he's not interested.


it's all critique on a very high level tho, the animation is already awesome! you did some really great characterisation on the two!

petertan
06-04-2006, 10:58 PM
Wow thanks man thought i'd never get a critique! Yep I totally agree with your points. I was really struggling to find more variations for both chars....i only had about a week to submit for the 10 sec club so yeah...ran out of time. A colleague of mine gave me really good ideas (thanks Mark) on what to do so i'm gonna rework it. He made the same comment about the waving of his hand to get attention :)
About the blue guy i did think of having him look at his fingers just before he realises what the tall guy is saying...but i was afraid of distracting the audience from the tall guy with too much movement from the blue guy. Well maybe i'll try that when i rework it and see how it goes.
Thanks again for the crit..much appreciated! :)

-pete-

Sherif.Nagib
06-05-2006, 09:48 AM
that's a nice piece, I like the fact that u didn't animate the blue guy too much so you don't draw attention to him, I also like the way you animated his eye..totally conveyed that he's listening to other guy and judging him on what he says. I just think that his eyes direction when he looks at the tall guy needs fixing.. doesn't feel like he's looking at him.

btw, this article might help a bit :
http://www.animationmentor.com/newsletter/0306/feature_geek.html

petertan
06-05-2006, 11:55 AM
I just think that his eyes direction when he looks at the tall guy needs fixing.. doesn't feel like he's looking at him.

Yeah Sherif thanks for picking that up...never noticed it before. I guess conciously making an effort NOT to overanimate the blue fella paid off. Great article by the way! Thanks again for your comments!

-pete-

petertan
06-12-2006, 03:24 PM
Updated my animation. Check out the first post! :)

-pete-

petertan
06-13-2006, 02:22 PM
Animated the camera and tweaked eyeline for blue guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfMaM8AFSEs

Again crits are welcomed!

-pete-

Chris Bacon
06-13-2006, 02:53 PM
lol, great stuff dude. my only crit is looking at the blue guy he looks like hes thinking,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING DONT TELL THEM THAT"

so when he sudenly smiles and looks calm I though....eeh.....maybe if you have him look slightly panicy near then and and tug on the tall guys arm to try make him stop talking. and then when he says

"what did I just say"

the blue guy could put his hands over his face in disbelif or somthing

just an Idea.

ps Ive update my acting shot if you wanna have a look

chris

Chris Bacon
06-13-2006, 02:54 PM
Oh yea, and the camera movements are distracting, try it with a still camera

petertan
06-13-2006, 09:36 PM
Thanks for the comments Chris! You got me thinking and I have another idea for the blue guy's acting.

I guess I should explain the story first. The tall guy, being an arrogant a$$, wants to take over the blue guy in making an important annoucement...even though he stinks at the language. So he ends up saying something totally ridiculous and making a fool of himself (i contemplated adding subtitles but thought that would be too distracting from the animation). It's sorta retribution in a way and the blue guy's just having a laugh. Does that make sense?

Anyway my idea was to have the blue guy realising that he's saying the "wrong" stuff (hopefully that reaction he currently has comes across as realisation?) and initially tries to stop him but is too slow in doing so and cracks up after tall guy delivers the "punchline".

About the camera...i had it still in the first place but thought maybe it'd be nice if it had the handheld cam quality. I suppose I should reduce the movements?

Yep I'll go take a look at your updates Chris. Thanks again!

-pete-

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