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View Full Version : Please Critique Intro Shot


fischerj
05-23-2006, 09:28 PM
This shot will go as an intoduction to my demo reel. Any advice would be great.

Here is the link.

http://www.jfanimation.com/video/introTest.mov (1.1 mb)

MikeYork
05-23-2006, 09:58 PM
I Like it :-) As far as advice or suggestions I think it would cool to see your character holding a little light projector pen. And thats what make your name and info appear. I don't know just throwing an idea out there......

Good stuff though, I am looking forward to seeing your demo reel when it's finished definately post it for props and critique :-)

Sontaran
05-23-2006, 10:46 PM
Great concept for an intro:thumbsup:. I like the overlapping action on your arms and upper body, well done.

I realise that this is a WIP and its for animtion not rendering/lighting, but just in case it helps, to me the lighting needs a bit of tweaking. The card with your name on it needs more colour saturation for my taste ( I think this is important becasue it has your name and you want that to be clear, I'm not suggesting to go onto bright colours though, unless you really want to). A few simple lighting/colour tweaks in your final render can make it more vibrant and dynamic. The lighting contrast is good until the card lights up, when his back gets illuminated and washes out the contrast on his upper torso and head.

In regards to other aspects of the animation, it was a little hard for me to read that he slides into the scene because the light is tracking with his movement, which is not a bad thing at all. Some ideas I have are to have him slide into the light, in whch case you get a bit better feeling for his across screen movement, or have a texture or object on the ground that he slides by. Actually the more I look at it the less I notice this issue. Anyway, just some food for thought, hope it helps in some way.

nottoshabi
05-23-2006, 11:13 PM
Nice concept I like the fact that he slides in to frame. As for the slide, at first I thought he is a bout to trip and fall he slides with his torso forward. Witch gave me the idea of falling over. Sliding keeps your body back and your feet forward, you kind of put your weight on your back leg as the front leg gives direction and the ability to slide if you slide with your torso forward there will be to much weight on the front foot. With the weight benign on the front will kill your momentum then throw you forward you wont slide at all. Then he does this little foot hop witch is supposed to give the impression that the floor has stopped benign slippery all of a sudden. That would throw your body forward in witch you have done with a beautiful fallow. But the fact that he slides with his torso forward makes it look acquard. I would change it and make it slide with his front foot forward then whip lash the torso. That would give a nice and clear view that he slides then stop cause the floor is not slippery anymore. I agree with Sontaran about the lighting and the mood.


Just my 2 cents.

fischerj
05-23-2006, 11:44 PM
Mike - Thanks for the ideas and advice.

Sontaran - I agree with you about the lighting. I'm going to try to break out passes so I can tweak things in after effects. If I have enough time. Thanks for the ideas.

fischerj
05-23-2006, 11:54 PM
Nottoshabi - Thanks for the thought out critque and compliment. I tried to make it look as though his weight is on his back foot for the start. Its kinda tough to see because it the first frames and fast. I also tried to make it look like the cause of his stop is the weight coming onto his front foot. Maybe I need to create more contrast between the two positions.

Thanks again.

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