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View Full Version : 'Blind Love' WIP(Critique)


TobyArt
05-16-2006, 05:04 AM
Blind Love - This is just a render test/line test etc.. on a character for a movie I'm working on. I haven't animated for an incredibly long time, so any quick crits on the animation would be great!! I'm focusing less on the quality of the look and more on the animation with this one.

Movie HERE (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/test1.wmv) (wmv) 88k

I'll Keep Updating this thread with my progress.

TobyArt
05-24-2006, 05:58 PM
I quick update, worked a little on the animation, started blocking out what the set will look like. Update HERE. (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/test2.wmv)

Any thoughts would be great!

TobyArt
05-28-2006, 06:03 PM
Working on the look of it , here's the title
http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/title.jpg

NeonGod
06-04-2006, 09:40 PM
kindof depends on what kind of animation you're going for... it's a bit short to tell

if you're going for cartoony then it's pretty well done. I'd maybe add a little 'panic' moment as he trips, maybe wave his arms trying to regain his balance.

the timing of the fall is cool tho, it really stops the whole animation LOL

TobyArt
06-07-2006, 06:37 PM
Okay here's a quick run cycle I tried to get out before work, it's my first in 4 years, so it needs alot of work, I havent really done much on the cane hand yet, and it's captured in 2's so it may look a little jumpy.
RUNCYCLE (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/runtest.avi) (341k) I can't get it to loop in the browser so it may need to be saved for that

NeonGod - Thanks for the input, I'm going for a very cartoony look with the whole reel, and as far as the "panic" moment goes, it's going to come out of slow mo to that shot , so I want the fall to be as drastic as possible. I'll give it a try when I go back to that part though.

TobyArt
07-05-2006, 09:07 PM
Okay so here's the storyboard for the whole movie, I'm still undecided on the color of the guy, I think the blue is working, I'm looking for feedback on EVERYTHING! Colors, shots, etc...
If you watch it please critique, anything helps. Trying to hammer out a solid short before diving into the animation. Critique, critique!!

View Here (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/storyboard.wmv) wmv (3mb)

Critique Please!

TobyArt
07-07-2006, 01:51 AM
Okay people, over 100 people have looked at this thread since I posted the last update, CRITQUE ME!! Please!

New update, to make it a little less confusing

BLIND LOVE STORY BOARD (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/storyboard2.wmv)

CRITQUE ME!! Any comments or thoughts would be great

mahir
07-21-2006, 12:55 AM
OK. I took a look at your storyboard clip and the 1st thing that came to mind was that it's a little too long. I think you can take out a portion of where they keep missing each other since the 1st or 2nd time that happens it's quite obvious what the theme is about. It would also mean less work for you.
I like the premise (although the idea of blind people freely running is quite difficult for me to believe). And the run cycle and fall are pretty nicely done. Some of the drawings are a little unclear (i.e. the stick drawings) in terms of what's going on in the shots though. And I think instead of the split screens you could consider using switching between close-ups. I did notice a few good camera angles you have going (e.g. the shot from above the couple as they pass each other).
Another thing I find a little hard to take in is that these 2 blind people can't make out where the other person is while running and stumbling, and yet a sneeze is heard. Also wouldn't it make sense that they would call out to each other? Or are they blind and mute?

I don't take offence at the storyline on the whole especially with the happy ending, but I did notice that it can appear a little demeaning (e.g. incompetent blind people).

TobyArt
08-18-2006, 06:38 PM
Okay I Haven't posted in way to long, but I got the female model done and here is a wave test for the beach shots
Wave Test (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/beachtest.wmv)
I'll post shots of the girl later

Harregarre
08-18-2006, 07:46 PM
I agree with mahir on some points. They miss eachother too many times. However I think the story is funny especially with the happy ending. Otherwise it would have been drama/tragedy. ;) I don't think blind people will be offended by this, because they won't be watching it anyway. (:wise: Oh, bad joke. Bad me.)

TobyArt
08-18-2006, 07:54 PM
mahir - I didn't mean to ignore your post sorry, I've been away for a while.

I've been getting alot of the "too long" and felt that way too, so I'll cut out one of the passing shots and see how that works.

I wasn't happy with the split shot and unsure how I could even get it to cut to that shot, so I'll do the closeups instead, good idea, thanks.

They are calling out to each other, the sound didn't come out as well as hoped for so it's not that apparent. I'll get that fixed when I do the final sound work, and once they're mouths get moving it should work out.

I don't mean to insult or demean anyone with this reel. If anyone knows any blind people if you could check it with them and see if there's anyway I could make it less offensive, if it comes across that way. That would be great.

Harregarre - yes bad joke, good point :) ,I'm glad you made it before me. Thanks for the imput.


Thanks for the crit, I love critique more than I love waffles, and I really love waffles!

glennyP
08-18-2006, 08:03 PM
I had a good chuckle. But i do agree about shortening the sequence of them missing eachother.

A note about the animation where he falls on his face:

-make him fall harder. Less frames between the hang and the hit. The audience should really feel the hit. I do feel it now as is, but I think you should squeek more punch into it.

Finally at the end it would be super funny, not that I'm sadistic, if they both tripped on a rock and smashed into the ground.

Anyways, keep the updates comin

-Glen

Harregarre
08-18-2006, 08:07 PM
Hmm, that would be funny as well, glennyP. They both trip and fall down hitting eachother. So the accident is actually a lucky accident because they finally found eachother. :love:

TobyArt
08-18-2006, 08:19 PM
Wow, this thread is blowing up!! Thanks guys! glennyP they actually do trip over a rock in the last shot, I know the storyboard is terrible on showing that, but yeah that's my kind of humor too. I actually had a friend that suggested they fall off a cliff at the end. (she's kind of sick) But I think that would be pushing it a little too far, too much of a love/tragedy.On the first trip, I agree I wanted a slight bit quicker on the fall. I'll get that in there.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the beach shot?
Wave Test (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/beachtest.wmv)

Harregarre
08-18-2006, 10:15 PM
I like the beachshot although you might want to add some seagulls to make sure people get it's a sea. When looking at the storyboard movie and hearing the sounds I actually thought it was a river. I suggest replacing the random bird noises by seagull-noise only. They have a very distinct sound so it's easier to recognize the sea setting.

TobyArt
08-19-2006, 03:45 AM
Harregarre - I have alot of work to do on the sound side of thing, but I will stick to a seagull and waves only soundtrack for the beach shots.

Here are the shots of the girl. I will change the line thickness on the body depending on the shot.
http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/girlclose.jpg
http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/girlfar.jpg

Now all I have to do is animate this thing. Yay!

Any crit on anything before I start?

TobyArt
08-22-2006, 08:05 PM
Okay here's an updated storyboard. None of the animation or shots are final yet, just tightening it up before animating

BLIND LOVE STORYBOARD (http://www.tobyart.com/wip/blind/BlindLove1.1.wmv)

Crit Me!

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