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tetrahedron
05-04-2006, 12:42 AM
incomplete computer art assignment. suggestions and critique welcome. i'd appreciate any constructive criticism. there's an invisible tree 'growing' out of the hand as of now, but soon to be... not invisible. so there, mr. cliffy.

http://img367.imageshack.us/img367/5136/finalcopy7vc.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

TobyArt
05-04-2006, 01:36 AM
Wow, that's looking fantastic. The way the light hits the water is perfect. Only a couple things I can spot for critique.

The ripple seems a little small for the splash. If a whole hand was forced out of the water I think it would cause a bit more water disturbance.

The clouds would probably catch more light from the moon, they seem to be only catching light from the moon and halo but the top edges should carry the light further from the moon to the right. Composition wise it should still flow correctly too, as long as it's not dragged to far out.

A little light on the thumb may help, not sure how the tree shadow will effect that.

As I said before incredible picture, I'm really eager to watch it's progress!

tetrahedron
05-05-2006, 05:27 PM
a couple more things added. still a bunch to do. i do plan on fixing the ripples, and the splash isn't nearly done. the tree will need more highlighs and shadows and texture etc etc etc. i fixed the clouds a bit. i plan to desaturate the red tone in the arm a little more before it's all over and done with also. any comments or input will be appreciated, because even when it's finished, it won't really be finished, yknow.

http://img284.imageshack.us/img284/5693/finalcopy22qp.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Grondhammar
05-05-2006, 06:39 PM
Impressive lighting all round. It looks like there is firelight back and to the left of the arm.

Below is where my eye is going right now...

http://cicero.modwest.com/images/cgtalk/finalcopy22qp-movement.jpg

In essence, the moon is very dominant, then the side of the hand, and then my eye starts to explore, trying to find interest, and ends getting lost in the branches trying to make out the detail up there.

This may or may not be the kind of flow you want. It seems like, if you can achieve your goals for this piece with a simpler object on the hand, it would work better. But, again, that's entirely piece-dependent. If you go with the tree, make sure there isn't so much detail up there that it becomes confusing.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this piece flies to :)

tetrahedron
05-05-2006, 07:02 PM
so i think i might just have to be getting closed to finished here. especially considering this is technically the last day i get to work on it before it's due. so considering this, is it decent enough to turn in, in your opinion? i know it needs more work, a lot more, but unfortunately i just don't have the time right now. so really. please tell me what you think. i'm talking brutal honesty here, well, maybe not so brutal, but very much so honest.

and clifton, if you look at this, please comment and let me know if you'll accept it as is, considering the circumstances, y'know, before i get back here on monday and have to have a heart attack because you don't think it's good enough. think of it this way, it could be a lot suckier. be kind to me mr. teacher man! haha, but really...

http://img272.imageshack.us/img272/4561/finalcopy39wg.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

kyuketsuki
05-06-2006, 05:03 PM
I think your piece is looking quite well but I do see some small issues. The ripples of the hand don't seem to be well intergrated into the base waves of the water. Also, I would like to see the roots of the tree become more extensive, perhaps more and longer, going into and under the skin of the arm (like an IV). This is a nice piece, but knowing your other work, it seems to be lacking the 'wow' factor your work usually has. I would also love to see your painted face piece posted when complete.

cheers

djtrousdale
05-06-2006, 11:32 PM
I would love to learn more about the "travellings of the eye" in art... :)

tetrahedron
05-08-2006, 01:19 PM
last day of class, i think i'm gonna have to be done now. i wanted to do more with the roots, kind of transforming into veins and such, and the splash still bothers me a bit. one day i'll be able to finish it completely. thank you all for your comments.

http://img276.imageshack.us/img276/8230/smyfinal6uf.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

pap87
05-08-2006, 01:39 PM
Interesting concept.
The splashing water is now too dark, almost looks like tar, it would be more frothy and white and the way the water is behaving now it looks more like the hand is going in than going out. Some others have already pointed out that the water needs to follow the direction of the hand so that you get a smoother flow into the splashy area, cos right now its a hard edge.
Another issue is the way the tree looks like it's getting light from the front. I reckon you could darken it more but leave the strong highlights on the edges where the moonlight is stronger.
Since you're already finished with it, it doesn't matter now but i guess you could keep working on it as practice like you said.

tetrahedron
05-11-2006, 03:43 AM
so now thaat i don't have to just 'call it finished' because of due dates and deadlines and whatnot, i'm going to try to work on this a lot more, because i think i could do so much better. i have made some changes since i last posted, but i don't have the file with me, so it'll have to wait. i blurred to water more to better integrate the ripples, and i must say it made a huge differene and looks much better now. there's much work to be done to the roots growing into the skin, or vice versa, whatever. one day i'll pick it back up, i don't necessarily have the meaans to work on it right now, but when i do, i'll be sure to post it again.

mrtristan
05-11-2006, 06:11 AM
First off, I like the work here.

That aside, one thing I've noticed is how some things are rendered very tightly, and somethings seem very blurry. The arm and the ripples look very crisp to me, but the moon and the tree seem blurry. This really separates those things from each other, and keeps the painting from looking like a single statement to me. I might mess with adding some tightness and looseness to each element. Where should the edges be? I don't know, but paying attention to mixing up the edges might help a bit.

tetrahedron
05-11-2006, 08:02 PM
That aside, one thing I've noticed is how some things are rendered very tightly, and somethings seem very blurry. The arm and the ripples look very crisp to me, but the moon and the tree seem blurry. This really separates those things from each other, and keeps the painting from looking like a single statement to me. I might mess with adding some tightness and looseness to each element. Where should the edges be? I don't know, but paying attention to mixing up the edges might help a bit.

thanks for the input. i have tweaked it a little more since i last posted, but like i said, i'm unable to post it again as of now. i blurred to water so it looks more consistent with the ripples, and it did help a lot, in my opinion. it's totally not finished yet, but i'll get there eventually. thanks again. i'll work on it.

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05-11-2006, 08:02 PM
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