View Full Version : Critiques wanted
Kiriana 03-22-2006, 01:08 AM I am currently working on this animation for a school project. If anyone has any suggestions on how it can be improved, I would love to recieve them.
http://www.savefile.com/files/7203510 (http://www.savefile.com/files/7203510)
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moose2k1
03-22-2006, 10:10 PM
Hi Kiriana,
Overall I like the animation in your piece, good motions/physics... A couple of acting suggestions:
1) The gray red eye robot could be targeting the static robot from the start, instead of walking and then noticing the robot. Perhaps from the very first frame he is eyeing this static robot and approaches is it with caution/eagerness (I would have the gray robot closer, to have him walk from so far away to appraoch his target)
2) When the sleeping gold robot wakes up, the gray robot should be more startled, almost leaping back some... Think how a cat would react when you go, boo! Right now the gray robot doesn't really react beyond looking at the awakened robot.
3) The ending is a bit odd, with the gray robot shaking like that? I think I know what you are trying to go for like haha sucker... But maybe after the gray robot gets revenge, he kinda runs away scared looking back while you have the gold robot on the ground trying to get up like an upside down turtle...
Acting is really on the eye of the beholder, but I think my acting suggestions could strengthen your story some! :thumbsup:
Nomi-Graphics
03-22-2006, 11:20 PM
One of the things I noticed, was when either robot pushes the other. The physics aren't looking right.
Remember your science, and have the push include an opposite reaction which would be balancing against the push.
As it is, they are shoving with no resistance being shown.
- Noel
Phredrek
03-23-2006, 05:45 AM
Nice characters for your piece!
I have a couple things to add to the crits. I don't believe the gray character's weight, he seems too floaty and in many areas his center of gravity seems to be in the middle when one foot comes off the ground. I believe because of the wide legs, a more definitive weight shift should be visible.
Second thing I would like to add is that the overall timing seems to go a steady quick pace. Things happen in the same rythm throughout the piece. Perhaps have the gray character pause more often to give the viewer a chance to absorb what is happening. For example when the gray guy touches the yellow guy, he goes back quickly because he is a little scared, however he moves back towards the yellow guy quite fast, I would think he would be a little more caution going back just to make sure. plus it would give the chance the viewer to be caution with the gray character. Also kinda on the same topic, he doesn't seem to hit any good poses, he just keeps bouncing around, having the viewer absorb what is happening is key I think.
anyhow that's my two cents.
again, I like the character idea :)
Frederic
Good job so far- I like the walkers.
I agree with all of the above crits, especially concerning the overall timing. Everything is moving at about the same pace right now and it would make it much more interesting if it varied throughout (all of which is mentioned in greater detail by Phredrek).
I also agree with Nomi-Graphic's observation about the physics.
If you fix those few things it will look much more believable and catch the viewer's interest.
Good luck :thumbsup:
Kiriana
03-24-2006, 12:51 PM
I appreciate your critiques. Once I make those changes I'll repost, and if you guys get a chance, you can take another look at it.
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