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Bonedaddy
03-03-2006, 03:44 AM
Hey y'all.

I started a comic recently which isn't quite normal fare for cgtalk. Modern-day setting, all about social interactions. It's like an indie film.

I know my art is... well, to call it unrefined, or rough, would be an understatement. At this point, my whole goal is to actually get the story told, and then go back and pretty it up. As such, I'm not inking or coloring or photoshopping any of the pages, besides tiny paint fixes and word bubbles. Because of this, the comic will be a little ugly at times, but if you like the story, please read on. I'd love comments.

PLEASE NOTE:
THE COMIC CONTAINS SOME (NON-EXPLICIT) NUDITY, SEX, AND GENERAL ADULT SITUATIONS. YOU ARE FOREWARNED.

The UI-less website for the comic is http://break.complexdream.com/. I'll probably be updating that page more regularly than this one, so keep that in mind. Eventually I'll make a proper page for it, but for now, simple html list.

Without further adieu, the first 8 pages of Break. As of this writing, I'm up to 22 pages, so visit the website if you want to read more.

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_001.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_002.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_003.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_004.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_005.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_006.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_007.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_008.jpg

smackbringer
03-03-2006, 05:13 PM
Recently, I've had some appreciation for comics that go a step further and really floor you. I applaud you for daring to step ouside the sitcom formula and really take personal issues head on. I just hope you draw more soon so I can continue reading it. The story is moving along good. The pencils are kinda sloppy but it tells the story and thats the most important part of comics.

Bonedaddy
03-04-2006, 12:41 AM
Thanks, smackbringer. I know that this comic is emo with a capital E, but whatever, it's something I need to get out. Right now I'm doing about a page per day, and post them up at http://break.complexdream.com/. I'll try and post up copies here, too.

Bonedaddy
03-04-2006, 12:43 AM
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_009.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_010.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_011.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_012.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_013.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_014.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_015.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_016_v2.jpg

In case you can't tell, the last one is supposed to be her curled up in bed, and the sheets forming this sort of broken glass pattern. I like the idea, but after 5 tries, seem wholly incapable of executing it. That said, I was getting stuck on that one page, and needed to move on before losing momentum, so there you go.

Bonedaddy
03-04-2006, 12:47 AM
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_017.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_018_v2.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_019_v2.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_020.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_021.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_022.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_023.jpg
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_024.jpg


And that's all I've done for now. Will post more once I make them.

RobW720
03-04-2006, 12:47 AM
I dig it man. Read up to date the stuff on your page. I like where it is going, keep up the good work and Ill keep on readin'

redjesus
03-04-2006, 01:55 AM
i definitely like this man, i'll be heading over to your site to start reading the rest, keep up the good work

edit: i guess i should've just seconded robw720, but my comment still applies!

Mu
03-06-2006, 07:53 AM
Hi there!


I like the story and especially the dialogues. Witty, believable and helping the story. Connected to this, I do like the characters you came up with, too.

:thumbsup:

There are also things I'd like to point out, though.
The panel with the second sex scene was a bit awkward (the doggy-style position), because it makes you think that the exact position is an important piece of information, while in truth it's rather the information that they were having sex at all - even if portraying a kind of impersonal or un-intimate way of having sex was the point you were trying to get across I think it would have been the better choice to show two faces and a bit of the upper torsos from the front in order to focus on the emotions rather than the position.

Also, I don't know what tools you are using, but I am missing inked lines bad, man.
Get yourself some digital ink or real-life counter-part (:D ) and ink away at it. Will improve the overall presentation of your story by multitudes.

So, looking forward to updates - please keep posting them in this thread, too, as I am...*subscribes*.... subscribed right now!

Bonedaddy
03-06-2006, 10:27 AM
Lordy. What a day. Drove down to San Diego for dinner with a friend who was in from New York, then drove back here, and found my house had been broken into. Gah. Not that happy with this next page artwise, but really, I'm not happy with ANY of them artwise. Just trying to tell the story.

Thanks for your kind words, everyone. Mr. Mu, I completely agree about the inking -- however, this idea is horribly marred by the fact that I am a grade-A dunce about inking. I tried inking a couple pages, to (http://break.complexdream.com/ink/break_001.jpg) ghastly (http://break.complexdream.com/ink/break_002.jpg) results (http://break.complexdream.com/ink/break_003.jpg). I was just really unhappy with the loss of detail in my drawings, as they don't have that much detail to begin with. Plus, I was drawing over my only copy, so.. no undos. I plan on going back and cleaning stuff up at some point, but for right now, it's like... eh, I already drew that comic, I don't want to go back and trace it.

One day! This will not be quite so hideous! But.. for right now, just have to keep up momentum. I think it'd take a lot of effort to get any of these where I wanted them to be, artwise, and that would take a lot of wind out of my sails. Better to hold off for now, says I. But thank you for your comments.



http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_025.jpg

Mu
03-06-2006, 12:49 PM
I tried inking a couple pages, to (http://break.complexdream.com/ink/break_001.jpg) ghastly (http://break.complexdream.com/ink/break_002.jpg) results (http://break.complexdream.com/ink/break_003.jpg). I was just really unhappy with the loss of detail in my drawings, as they don't have that much detail to begin with. Plus, I was drawing over my only copy, so.. no undos. I plan on going back and cleaning stuff up at some point, but for right now, it's like... eh, I already drew that comic, I don't want to go back and trace it.

I see. :D

Unfortunately my linework could make milk go sour when exposed to it, but(!)... there's more than one thread around this place about comic/sequential art and the whole place is filled with talented or just enthusiastic people. And as it is fairly normal to break up the steps into drawings and inking between more than only one artist it would be like completely the pro way of doing things if you looked for a team partner for the ink lines.

Just watch out that you don't mention "tracing" to them...:scream: :D

keep it up.

Mu
03-06-2006, 12:51 PM
don't mean to spam your thread, but I am sorry to hear your flat was broken into. I hope you still feel comfortable in it, though.

zem
03-06-2006, 01:41 PM
Wow, great comic. Love the story. It will be great to follow your progress!

I really like the dialogue. Very catching.

...and I also like the dialogue font. What is it called? :)

Bonedaddy
03-06-2006, 04:10 PM
Yeah, I would like to ink it and shade or color it at some point, so I am saving it for later, after I do more, and get better at it. It's a skill I'd like to have, but... yeah. Like I said, this is a super-rough first pass.

Oh, and the font is called DigitalStrip, I downloaded it for free from Blambot.com.

Rebeccak
03-06-2006, 08:44 PM
Wow, this is really good and keeps getting better. Didn't know you had posted here, glad to have found your thread. How long have you been cooking up this story?

Cheers, :)

~Rebeccak

Bonedaddy
03-06-2006, 11:04 PM
Hey Rebecca!

I've only had the story in my head about a month, month and a half. I came up with it on my walkabout. It's an incredibly reworked and allegorical working-through of various crap that happened in my life at different points. Nobody actually killed themselves in any way but metaphorically.

And, answering a previous comment -- yeah, I know the sex scene is maybe a little gratuitous, but the whole point of it is that it's purely physical and temporary. As such, it involves their bodies more than their faces, because they're not showing any emotions. Lina does some questionable stuff, and I don't want to shy away from it.

So, without further adieu, another page:

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_026.jpg

Bonedaddy
03-06-2006, 11:11 PM
And the break-in wasn't such a big deal, just inconvenient. Likelihood is, it was just some kid. Only thing he took of any value was my PS2 -- which is the second one I've had stolen. I'm not too broken up about it, as I didn't play it that much. Hell, whoever took it would probably have a better time with it than I had. I had about finished up the game in there, Dragon Quest 8. Only thing I'll miss is my memory card. I'll have to unlock all my Guitar Hero songs again, but oh well. I just hope that whoever took it actually sits down and plays DQ8. The world needs more RPG players.

Rebeccak
03-06-2006, 11:14 PM
Wow...so not exactly for the Saturday morning cartoon crowd, then? :D

More nice work...it'll be interesting to see where you take this new character (the friend). He seems a little whack himself.

Great work!

Cheers, :)

~Rebeccak

Bonedaddy
03-06-2006, 11:16 PM
More nice work...it'll be interesting to see where you take this new character (the friend). He seems a little whack himself.

Yeah, I don't think anyone in the story really has a good perspective on things. Except maybe her friend Marissa, and probably the cop. But Jon (Wes's friend) is fun to write for, as he is pompous and spouts off random, possibly-wrong information to make himself sound smart -- just like me! I don't even have to do any research for him!

Rebeccak
03-06-2006, 11:19 PM
Originally Posted by Jason: But Jon (Wes's friend) is fun to write for, as he is pompous and spouts off random, possibly-wrong information to make himself sound smart -- just like me! I don't even have to do any research for him!
LMAO :D I think what's cool are the expressions and things ~ I know you're 'not a 2D artist' but the facial expressions are really good. I totally feel like I know the friend (Marissa) and the cop seems real too (not coldhearted as you might expect, but empathetic to the main character). It's nice because it's a real story and not a superhero thang, and all of the characters feel like someone you could know, which is kind of impressive since they're just pencil on paper and words. :)

Cheers,

~Rebecca

DamiJab
03-06-2006, 11:47 PM
I just started reading your stuff today and I do really enjoy it. Except it seems as in the begining the story is very obvious. Mabe it is a good thing or possibly not. I think without it there could be a confusion in the story. Oh and I really like your use of the golden section on one of the pannels. Nice work mate

Zack Attack
03-07-2006, 05:01 AM
Wow i dont think i was ever this interested in a comic ever. The reason i think its very catchy is that we can all relate to this on some level. Even though your secret is im sure real life events that happened to you i guess.

SupRore
03-07-2006, 05:32 AM
First thread I've ever subscribed to. :thumbsup:

Bonedaddy
03-07-2006, 10:46 AM
Thanks to all of you for the kind words. I agree that it's a little obvious where it's going, but it's more the journey than the destination, I would argue. Anywho, here's page 27:

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_027.jpg

greenj2
03-07-2006, 11:05 AM
Awesome Bonedaddy, I think I remember you saying you were going to make a comic a while ago and I've just stumbled across it today. Glad to see you went ahead with it, I'll definatly be watching this. :thumbsup:

DamiJab
03-07-2006, 12:52 PM
Hey BoneDaddy I know this is a bit off topic but, are you a 3D artist?

Bonedaddy
03-07-2006, 07:38 PM
Hopefully I'll be able to get up another page today. I have to be careful about how I do the next part. I don't want it to turn into farce or soap opera. Also, I have to send out some more reels today, which may take a bit of time. Ah, trials and tribulations.


WhiteEagle:

Cool! Glad to have you on board.

DamiJab:

Yep. I'm a TD by trade, emphasis on particle/dynamics work, but I also do a bit of character rigging and poly modeling. I also usually end up doing pipeline/webpage work wherever I go, too. Weird how that happens.

Nemoid
03-08-2006, 05:22 AM
there's some good work here in storytelling, and drawing is progressing nicely from page to page. i have a trick for you.
mirror your pages, or also use a real mirror to check where errors in drawings are. often our eye when drawing gets a bit accustomed to what we're doing and doen't seem to notice where we messed up something.

keep up the good work

Erikoinen
03-08-2006, 06:30 AM
How does one "subscribe"?

jmBoekestein
03-08-2006, 03:41 PM
Hey cool Stuff!!! Was about time in this decadent society! :thumbsup:

DamiJab
03-08-2006, 04:33 PM
In the first pannel she calls him Les but his name is Wes in a later pannel. Something I just noticed but it could just be a typo. WAIT NEVER MIND I JUST LOOKED AT IT AGAIN. Ok thats awesome it shows more of Lina's character.

RobertoOrtiz
03-08-2006, 05:31 PM
How does one "subscribe"?

You can subscribe to either this thread OR THE COMIC PAGES: (The Dreamland Chronicles, Silversparrow) WE ARE BACK! (http://forums.cgsociety.org/showthread.php?t=322995) by clicking "Thread Tools" / "Subscribe to this Thread"


-R

LoTekK
03-08-2006, 06:24 PM
This is really quite solid; you've certainly got me coming back for more, and I don't read that many comics. So far the only thing that jumped out at me as far as needing improvement, panel-wise, is the jump between the last two panels of your most recent page. It seems an obvious progression, but something to tie the two together would improve the dramatic tension immensely, I think. Right now we go from him grabbing her, to her being in the seat, and the lamp having been knocked off the table. Something in between that, even if it's just a simple swishy line thing plus a closeup of the lamp beginning its fall would tie the two panels together nicely.

Otherwise, as I said, I'm quite riveted. :thumbsup:

Pentagramma
03-08-2006, 08:41 PM
Just to let you know, I just read all your pages so far. You got a great material here! Reminds me a bit of "American Splendor" - not for any similarites on the story or characters per se, but because it deals with real life, real problems, etc.

Keep going! :thumbsup:

Bonedaddy
03-09-2006, 01:54 AM
Hey y'all. Thanks for the kind words.

Nemoid: Thanks! I'd heard that before, but never really tried it. I'll give it a go sometime.

LoTekk: You're completely right. I had lightly pencilled in some movement lines, but they sort of disappeared in all the post work. I'll go back and fix that and post again when I have it done. I am actually planning on doing something similar for page 18, where the Marine Guy shows up at her place. I hate the pacing between her getting out of the car and him just suddenly appearing. I want to split the shopping panel into half, and insert an additional panel between her "social retard" panel and the reveal of the Marine Guy.


Anyways, sorry it took me awhile to get this page done. I think you'll see why.

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_028.jpg

I felt the scene needed the additional lighting info. I am fairly happy with how it turned out -- which is to say, a lot better than I expected, given that I've never really done it before. Eventually, probably when I'm all done with the comic, or I'm nearly done, I'll go back and gussy up every page like this one. But for right now, it just takes SO long. This page took me 7-8 hours just in the execution. Gah.

Hoping the story isn't getting too soap opera-ey. Jon is kind of at a bad place right now, so I'm writing his actions off on that. That, and he's kind of a dick.

Rebeccak
03-09-2006, 02:51 AM
Hmm, the turn this character is taking seems a little too gratuitous, and less real for me than the build~up of the rest of the story. The main body of the story is interesting because it's sympathetic to her character as well, but this seems to be turning into an 'all women are bitches and should be killed' sort of thing...:shrug:...which ultimately I think makes it less interesting (at least for me). This could too easily turn into the kind of slayer comic which is why I don't usually have that much of an interest in comics...the real story you had going previously I think was what was drawing us all in.

I mean, you could accuse her of being shallow for ditching him because he's maybe unattractive with not a very strong personality, but he (Wes) was mainly interested in her because of her looks, right? He was just as shallow in a way...lonely, but just as shallow.

Just my two cents. :)

Cheers,

~Rebeccak

Bonedaddy
03-09-2006, 02:55 AM
I totally see where you're getting that, and that isn't what I'm going for at all. I think that'll become evident with time, but... yeah, Jon is a jerk-ass. What he's saying isn't like an authorial voice -- I mean, the guy is f-ing strangling her, silencing her voice while he bitches at her -- but it is a voice. One that sort of plays on some of her own fears. This isn't the comic's view on women, or my view on women -- it's Jon's view on women. And Jon is currently being a huge dick.

But thanks for your comments anyway. I do worry about it when it dips into unhappyland territory, trying to keep it from getting too out there.


I mean, you could accuse her of being shallow for ditching him because he's maybe unattractive with not a very strong personality, but he (Wes) was mainly interested in her because of her looks, right? He was just as shallow in a way...lonely, but just as shallow.

No, I totally agree. And I'll address that in due time.

Rebeccak
03-09-2006, 03:00 AM
Hmm, gotcha. :) I just think that you want to keep your audience...if I didn't know the author (and didn't know where the story was headed, which I do now since you've just outlined a bit more of it) I would stop reading the story at this point. I think the audience for the main story is most mature people, who have probably played both roles at one time or another ~ whereas the audience for the Jon character at this point in the story is a lot darker (not an audience I would identify with).

EDIT:
No, I totally agree. And I'll address that in due time.
Ah, gotcha. :) Just make sure your audience makes it far enough to get to your other points. :)

Just a thought. :)

Cheers,

~Rebeccak

Bonedaddy
03-09-2006, 03:31 AM
You are right. I did worry about this part of the story, cause it's a bit far from actual experience. In reality, it'd be more of her beating herself up and saying those things.

I tried to telegraph this a bit. What she told Jon is a closer version of what happened, but Jon didn't want to hear it. When she tried reasoning with him, he shut her up. But yeah. Will definitely take this into account.

Gonna try to get another page up tonight sometime. Need to eat first, though.

Rebeccak
03-09-2006, 03:33 AM
Wow! I get to influence the course of the comic :D ~ coolness, thanks for being objective. :)

Looking forward to the next panel! *runs to buy popcorn* ;)

Cheers, :)

~Rebeccak

Erikoinen
03-09-2006, 09:15 AM
Subscribed.

DamiJab
03-09-2006, 01:07 PM
This is just slightly off topic, but I really like what is happening with the lighting.

SupRore
03-09-2006, 05:37 PM
I see where Rebecca's coming from, but I don't really agree.

That said, Jon is seeming completely insane to me. I know he's supposed to be grief stricken, but that's not really what I'm seeing. More like Wes's death made him finally snap. :shrug:

lunat1k
03-09-2006, 07:04 PM
Keep going, you got me interested!

RobertoOrtiz
03-09-2006, 07:41 PM
I read your story today and I have to admit I like the directions taking.
You have done a great job making the core characters relatable and well rounded.

I like the fact that both Wes and Lina are people who are both dead.

Wes is REALLY dead pushing daisies, and Lina is living an emotionally dead life.

I like the fact that both characters share a chronic sense of loneliness that leads them to literally jump at other's people's laps.

Perhaps you could expand a bit more on what made Wes crave affection in such desperate manner (abuse?) and why Lina has this total inability to connect with people .

Great work man
-R

Bonedaddy
03-10-2006, 12:53 AM
Wow. Thanks for all the comments, everyone.

Dami: Yeah, I was happy with that, but looking back, I think I may have overdone it a bit. My film school background was just like, "Oo! Chance for motivated under-eyeline lighting! This'll make him seem REALLY creepy!" without thinking, hey, there's probably overhead lights on as well. I'll probably go back and tone that down a little.

SupRore: Yeah, Jon isn't handling things well. It's also sort of who he is. He's sort of a mix of one of my brothers and one of my (ex) friends from college. Arrogance, narcissistic complexes, a possible brain chemical imbalance, an anti-authoritarian streak, and a healthy dose of rage don't make a good combination.

I know some of you are probably thinking he's nuts, but I've had to deal with people like that. Hell, sometimes the only way we were able to calm down my brother was by ganging up on him, subduing him, and taking turns sitting on him until he calmed down. He'd shriek and lash out at us like a feral animal. This was generally when his meds weren't all correct, but this is not an inaccurate depiction of a low-level psychotic fit.

Roberto: I plan on fleshing out Wes's background a bit, but not in the immediate future. Believe me, I'm not forgetting that he was a willing participant in all this as well. That's all coming up, but probably not for another 20, 30 pages.

And here's page 29, introducing the last semi-important characters in the whole story, as I have it planned out so far. Almost to the end of chapter 2!

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_029.jpg

Zack Attack
03-10-2006, 02:38 AM
great story keep it up, i actually cant wait to see what happends next.

Rebeccak
03-10-2006, 02:42 AM
Nice redemptive panel. :) The woman who comes in reminds me of a character off of that animated series about rednecks...the name of which...escapes me...:D

Wow, it's like we're all watching Oprah. :D Together. :D

Cheers, :)

~Rebeccak

RobertoOrtiz
03-10-2006, 02:57 AM
Is it King of the Hill Rebecca?


Anyway getting back to the comiic, one thing I like is the fact that is told from the point of view of a woman, no easy feat for a guy. Why did you do that bonedaddy?
-R

Bonedaddy
03-10-2006, 03:25 AM
Anyway comic back to the comiic, one thing I like is the fact that is told from the point of view of a woman, no easy feat for a guy. Why did you do that bonedaddy?

Honestly? Because I feel like I go about relationships in a more feminine than masculine manner. Guys are expected to do all manner of locker room talk and objectification of women, which I have serious trouble doing, and I'd have serious trouble writing. The hardest character in all of this for me to write is the Marine Guy (I swear I'll give him a name one of these days), because I can't get into his head at all.

I figured it'd be more believable to have a woman in the lead role. It saves me the trouble of working against societal expectations to make a male character with that sort of attitude on relationships actually believable. It's not like relationship-oriented men don't exist (I'm one myself), but in my experience, they're not very prevalent in mass media, and to write one that bucks the stereotype would just require an additional bunch of characterization to show that, no, he's not actually gay.

Which isn't to say Lina embodies my view on relationships, at this point -- she doesn't. But I think her journey emotionwise is easier to understand and get behind than if she was male. And it's easier for me to write.

SupRore
03-10-2006, 03:46 AM
I like the new page. :thumbsup:

For whatever reason the dialogue in the second to last two panels doesn't seem quite as good to me as the rest, but it's probably me. :shrug:

Bonedaddy
03-10-2006, 05:06 AM
Actually, Sup, it's not just you. It'd kind of bugged me, but I let it go. Then when you said something, I looked back, and it really bugged me.

So I redid it.

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_029_v2.jpg

The original is still uploaded, so you can see what I did differently. This is much more in line with the new guy's character anyway.

SupRore
03-10-2006, 05:44 AM
Yeah, I like this better. :thumbsup:

Bonedaddy
03-10-2006, 11:05 AM
Two pages in one day, woo~!

Alright, I may go back and tweak dialog on this page a little bit in the morning. Right now, though, it's 4 am, and I can barely see straight.

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_030.jpg


Hee hee, I love Barry. Choke-o-puffs. Ohhhh I'm tired.

LoTekK
03-10-2006, 01:57 PM
Hee hee, I love Barry. Choke-o-puffs. Ohhhh I'm tired.
I gotta admit, that one floored me. Came out of nowhere! :thumbsup: I also thought the "That's on straight, dear" was a nice touch. I'm liking how this is going, and I definitely want to see more. As said before, I'm hooked. :)

DamiJab
03-10-2006, 06:00 PM
I'm currently reading a book called Story funny name isnt it. The book is about how to write a good screen play. There is a topic that goes over characters and what you need to know about them to make the story believeble. It states that every aspect of their personalty needs to have deph, such as what do they drink. It appears that you are using this technique. I get a very strong sense of where all the characters are comming from.

Bonedaddy
03-13-2006, 10:30 AM
Ohhh man, finally got this one done. Not only did the art take forever to put together, but the eulogy took a bit to write (this is actually its seventh draft). I'm still not 100% happy with it. I may tweak it a bit in the future. Oh well. One more page to the end of chapter 2. Then on to chapter 3...

DamiJab: Once you finish "Story," you should check out the movie Adaptation, directed by Spike Jonze and written by Charlie (and Donald) Kaufman. Robert McKee, the guy who wrote Story, is in it, and... well, it's interesting. Adaptation is a great movie. Highly recommended.

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_031.jpg

DamiJab
03-13-2006, 12:37 PM
Thanks I will check it out. Nice layer effect by the way.:thumbsup:

SupRore
03-13-2006, 05:23 PM
Images are not showing. :sad:

Edit: Are now. :thumbsup:

artsky2008
03-14-2006, 01:50 AM
[Wow, this is really good and keeps getting better. Didn't know you had posted here, glad to have found your thread. How long have you been cooking up this story?

Faras
03-14-2006, 02:00 AM
Hey Bonedaddy, I just finished reading the comic, and all the post.
I don't really like this kind of stories. This is partly because I'm a dreamer in the purest form and partly because soap opra and real life tv shows really try to drain any possible emotion out of a person and blow them out of proportion.
However, the story you wrote ( so far ) has a totally different effect on me. I like it. A lot. Not only the characters you created are interesting, the dialogues between them are superb to. It's very hard to write a realistic dialogue dealing around emotions and feelings. I think that's because most people have a hard time expressing feeling in words.

To me you are a very good writer ( not so much a cartoonist, but hey , like you said, rough sketches :D ). I hope to see more of the comic and wish you the best creating it.

Hats off and thumbs up!

p.s: Hope I didn't make to much typo's or weird sentences, my english is good, but not great ^^

Bonedaddy
03-14-2006, 09:35 AM
Hey y'all,

Thanks for the kind words.

Artsky2008: The story just sort of came to me earlier this year, probably around the end of January.

Faras: I'm glad you like it. I think soap operas and whatnot forget how hard it is for people to actually talk about stuff like this. For me, the most devastating moments in my favorite movies are the quietest ones.

Anyway, here's page 32, the last one in Chapter 2. Updates may slow down a little bit, because I may be employed again soon. We'll see. The next chapter veers away from Wes and his legacy a bit and focuses on Lina more. In many ways, she's just been a spectator in the story up until this point. The next chapter focuses on her moving on and trying to deal with her life. We'll see how that goes for her. :)

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_032.jpg


I'm happy with the dirt splatter on the casket. Took awhile, but I think it was worth it.

LoTekK
03-14-2006, 01:51 PM
I think Faras hit it on the head. Your dialogue feels real. It feels right, and nothing's over the top (well, aside from Jon, but that's intentionally so :) ). I think the last two pages were handled very nicely. Kudos for that. And your time and effort paid off for that last panel. :thumbsup:

kevinhyshen
03-14-2006, 02:07 PM
Despite of all the positive comments, I still have to add that this is really awsome.

To me the comic's got what's essential to a comic, believability and story. All else is not important. The shots are great too. Don't even worry about inking it. I've seen works drawn better, but with far worse story and shots.

Keep it up man. A rare piece of work!

Bonedaddy
03-24-2006, 04:18 PM
Okay, sorry for the gap there. Started a new job (two, actually), had to drive a friend up to the GDC (and back), and got sick. Twice.

Aaaanyway. Here we go. Chapter Three. Now off to work!

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_033.jpg

DamiJab
03-25-2006, 12:46 AM
Nice work. It looks like you spent more time with the sketches too. I like it

DDS
04-06-2006, 09:44 PM
absolutely incredible dude, drawing skills are just enough and plot is getting really interesting. Good luck with it!

EDIT: with *just enough* I meant that they are good for a comic, which means quite a lot.

SupRore
04-06-2006, 11:32 PM
Yeah, been waiting on the next page for a while...

Bonedaddy
04-06-2006, 11:34 PM
Believe it or not, I do have 3/4ths of the next page done, but fate has conspired against me. I plan on getting it up tonight. Sorry, everyone. New job is kicking my ass, and my Japan plans are sort of falling apart, and it's all taking up a ton of my time...

Bonedaddy
04-07-2006, 09:54 AM
Here it is. Holy hell this took forever to put together, for no real reason. Perspective sucks in nearly every panel, and the dialog bubbles crowd each other wayyy too much, but whatever. It's done. Moving on.

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_034.jpg

janwoll
04-10-2006, 06:28 PM
Just writing, because no other is doing, and i think, every page you draw is worth to critic.
To the whole Comic: I like the Story and the Characters very much, and I'm interesseted what will happen.

Pages I like most are: The grave and the beginning of the third chapter, the expression of them are great
But: The Characters in your last Page are drawen worse than before.
Especilly the anatomy of the girl in the third picture who looks back is very strange :-/


Sorry for my english, its getting worse, since i'm not at school any more.

strangelife
04-12-2006, 09:04 PM
Really well executed. THIS is a comic I would read regularly. Kinda reminds me of some books I have by Chester Brown and Joe Sacco. Keep it up!

Nathellion
04-14-2006, 09:17 AM
Just wanted to say...keep it up. :thumbsup:

Xecode
04-16-2006, 12:39 AM
Just finished getting through it, I like it alot.

What is your procedure of doing this? For instance those boxes don't look hand drawn or even traced.

Sorry, comic noob <--------

Bonedaddy
04-16-2006, 01:02 AM
Lord, life has been keeping me busy lately. Sorry for the lack of updates -- hope to get another out tonight. Glad you all like it so far! These couple pages are a little slow, but it'll ramp up a bit soon.

As for my technique, it's embarassingly low-tech. I just make the boxes in Photoshop, then print it out and draw in them. If I draw a bit outside of the boxes, then I just erase it after I scan it in.

depleteD
04-16-2006, 08:46 AM
That is awesome, I will be def watching this thread.

Bonedaddy
04-18-2006, 09:46 AM
Finally got some time to do this one. I cannot tell you how many times I drew and erased it. I went through 3 sheets to get to this. I am pretty happy with it overall, but there's always (so much) room for improvement. Now, things start to get moving again!

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_035.jpg

Bonedaddy
05-30-2006, 03:31 AM
I'm not dead!

Just been dealing with insane amounts of work stuff, applications and interviews for teach-in-japan programs, and general madcap tomfoolery.

Anyway, this scene's not going to be my favorite, but it's kind of necessary to set stuff up. Here we go...

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_036.jpg

General Midi
05-30-2006, 12:43 PM
I'm not dead!

Just been dealing with insane amounts of work stuff, applications and interviews for teach-in-japan programs, and general madcap tomfoolery.

Anyway, this scene's not going to be my favorite, but it's kind of necessary to set stuff up. Here we go...





but I think it's a fine page :thumbsup:.
Wonder what happends next....
Good luck.

TheFreak
05-31-2006, 09:44 PM
Hey just wanted to pop in and say that i think this is great stuff, you are a talented writer and your drawings are pretty nice too.

Looking forward to the next part of this, will definitly keep an eye on this thread

Cheers for sharing

Gremlin
06-02-2006, 07:50 AM
son of a--

I read this a while ago, remembered it and wanted to see how far it'd come. Good stuff, but you can't end at such a pivotal point in the story AND in the middle of a guy's sentance....

Bonedaddy
06-02-2006, 02:48 PM
son of a--

I read this a while ago, remembered it and wanted to see how far it'd come. Good stuff, but you can't end at such a pivotal point in the story AND in the middle of a guy's sentance....

I'm still working on it... :) Hopefully will have another page out today or tomorrow. All told the story should be about 100 pages.

Bonedaddy
06-04-2006, 10:45 AM
Oh no he di'n't!

http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_037.jpg


Yes, the dreaded return of Count Chokeula!

JMcWilliams
06-04-2006, 03:39 PM
uh oh! :D
....

General Midi
06-04-2006, 07:20 PM
Here we go...... :thumbsup:

ThomasMahler
06-06-2006, 06:19 PM
I just checked this out, since you made a fine suggestion in the general dis. board in one of my threads - thank god I've seen this! I think the writing is pretty good, but it turned from a more serious, morbid kind of story into too much of a soap-opera. I loved how you introduced those two characters and focused on her conflict, cause this guy commited suicide - probably because of her. The part with Jon was interesting as well, but it already slowly turned into a soapy kind of thing. And I didn't really like the rest of the story, but it's not over yet, so I'm just telling you what I'm thinking from what I know up to this point, hope you don't mind! :)

I think you had this film noir feeling going on in the beginning and lost that over time - that's a pitty. But I hope you keep this up and continue one day, it'd be very interesting to see where you're heading!

About the drawings: I think you could've got away with less and you're trying too much in a too short amount of time. Try to block things out more - draw little thumbnails of every scene first, so you get a feel for the perspective, the shot, the overall proportions. Just blocks of characters, sets, etc. It feels like you don't have too much confidence in your drawings, you're not changing the strength of the lines, it doesn't feel like you're having fun while drawing. Don't stress yourself with the fact that things have to look 'pretty', try to describe with your pencil what you want to say. And not more than that. Also, maybe you have more fun trying something different - have you ever thought about working with collages? I think this could fit your story very, very well. Pop in the incredibles extra dvd and look at the art of Teddy Newton. He's working with very simple forms, he's not pushing details, but you totally get the idea. It's a great way of working and it's probably more descriptive as if you'd really invest the time to finely model every character in every panel.

Sorry if that sounded a little too 'do it this or that way!' but I really like what you're doing here and maybe you keep things going once you've found your own 'perfect' way of doing things - good stuff! :)

Bonedaddy
06-06-2006, 06:28 PM
I think you had this film noir feeling going on in the beginning and lost that over time - that's a pitty. But I hope you keep this up and continue one day, it'd be very interesting to see where you're heading!

Thanks for the studied comments! I agree about it maybe being too soapy, but I'm trying to keep it kind of realistic. Some of the stuff I'm up against is that I'm so hurting for time that it's hard to keep it in my mind for any extended period of time, and thus the rhythm of everything gets kind of broken up. I definitely think it's moving too fast, and needs more time to breathe, and I may go back and add more pages later on.

I've sort of fretted about how to reintroduce Jon for some time now, and I'm still not sure this is the best way to do it. I like the idea of him being a waiter, and forced to wait on people he obviously despises, as a humbling thing for him, but... yeah. Anyway.

The plot as it's laid out for the future basically revolves around her not being able to escape this cycle she's gotten herself into, and things get worse. But again, I'm afraid it'll be too soap opera-ey, so I find myself stressing about that even more. I am even contemplating going back and erasing the last couple pages and going in a different direction. Sigh.

As for your art comments, you're probably right. This whole thing is stressing me out a lot because... I mean, I can tell when my art sucks, I just can't figure out how to make it better. So I find myself redrawing the same thing over and over (I think I redrew Lina's face 62 times the page before last). I'll give your ideas a shot when I next get time to work on this.

WilburLoyd
06-06-2006, 11:17 PM
I find your story refreshing. It is nice to see a realistic and tragic characterization of a selfish and irresponsible person. I assume Lina will finally see the error of her ways. It is interesting how self-centered people completely focused on satisfying their personal desires fail to achieve the happiness they so desperately want. No matter how they try to manipulate and engineer circumstances their desires slip through their fingers.

Unfortunately, their schemes and acts of self-service often hurt those around them. Wes was a casualty, but also a flawed individual with his own selfish interests. Jon tries to be a voice of reason, but suffers from his own emotional issues. The marine is a good match for Lina, because he is less vulnerable to her emotional insensitivity.

The only problem is Lina wants something or someone else. I could see Lina saying something like, "(sighs) all the good guys are taken." I could also see her marrying a rich sugar daddy. Eventually she would get bored and start an affair with her tennis coach or personal trainer. Of course, this would not be her fault. She is pretty and has needs. If anything, she is the victim.

Lina is searching for meaning, but does not know where to find it. Heady stuff. But Hey! A few more rounds in the sack with the marine will help her forget the pain.:thumbsup:

Peddy
06-08-2006, 04:52 AM
more! damnschlammit!

(...)
06-13-2006, 01:46 PM
Dude, great story, but it's time to take some drawing classes.

Peddy
06-13-2006, 03:19 PM
i dont think its a big deal. sure, better drawings would be nice, but i think it would just be gravy. the story's what gets ya.

Bonedaddy
06-13-2006, 03:22 PM
Dude, great story, but it's time to take some drawing classes.

Well, it's either take several years of drawing classes and get better at that (which isn't really my goal) and don't tell the story, or just muscle on forward with a neurotic complex about my complete lack of skills, which causes me to update maybe once every month or so.

;)

moujot
06-16-2006, 09:40 AM
Heya, i like it pretty much, story is interesting and has me wanting some more... keep it going !!

mouj

Jomina
06-20-2006, 01:00 PM
Just finished reading the pages you had updated on your website and had to say, this story is interesting and intriguing and totally caught me into it ;)

The dialogue is totally believable, and your drawing work is just fine to bring out the story.. i can see how its improved from one page to the next as your skills gain strength. If nothing else, that's great enough reason to continue on!

But definately enjoying it, 100%. I'll keep an eye on this thread to get the newest goodies you bring to us in Lina's life!


Thanks again for postin it, and keep up the great work!

trance_dom
06-22-2006, 02:05 AM
Heh..can't stop reading this story..gonna get in trouble from the boss lol...

LoTekK
06-27-2006, 10:20 PM
I can't believe I've neglected this for so long. While I agree it's in danger of becoming rather soapy, so far it's still very gripping, and you've got some great writing keeping the story going. I'm really enjoying the pacing, especially some of the panel-to-panel stuff.

And don't worry too much about the way you reintroduced Jon. It definitely got an "Oh, snap!" reaction from me. :D

DimitrisLiatsos
06-28-2006, 07:09 AM
Yes...and believe it or not i am waiting to see what is going to happen in this story every morning (with my coffee)...so ...please go on...chop chop... :)

_ About drawing tech and stuff...can't say much..not an exeprt ..but..it is good enough to say the story...and the story is the part that is holding u up very curious to see what is going to happen next. The only thing that i noticed , if it helps, is that sometimes u have some issues with depth mostly. Hope it helps. Now ...we are waiting! ..lol .. :)

tharrell
07-05-2006, 06:13 AM
Yikes, Jason.

I just caught the thread tonight for the first time and I have to say that the story just sucked me in... probably for different reasons than most.

A little skeleton in my closet from not that many years ago... I had a practically identical situation as your exposition happen to me. Down to deleting the "note" from my voicemail before I listened to it. It was a serious mindf**k to say the least, and it took me a long time to work that out of every conscious thought.

She survived... got out of the hospital after about 6 months. Run into her on occasion and there's that little part of my brain that I loathe telling me that things would have been easier for everyone involved if she'd have succeeded, and another little part of my brain wanting to come to her rescue and fix her. And another part of me that just wants to RUN THE F AWAY because I don't want those feelings or memories to come back.

At any rate, I think you're handling the psychological elements and story dead-on. It's seriously heavy stuff to contemplate, much less live through.

Props man.

--T

p.s. Your drawing is getting quite a lot better at an astonishing rate. No substitute for just doing it :)

Bonedaddy
07-05-2006, 03:58 PM
Thanks, everyone. I appreciate the kind words.

I'm so sorry for neglecting Break for so long, but life has been indescribably insane. In case you missed my mention of it in General Discussions, I am moving to Japan at the end of the month. I found this out maybe a week ago. I'm frantically trying to get everything in my life in order, and have zero time to attend to the comic.

Once I'm in Japan and things have settled down a little, I'll try and pick it back up!

Peddy
07-06-2006, 04:12 AM
not only can we watch your drawing skills progress, but we can see if it evolves into a manga without you realising :D

Brettzies
07-07-2006, 09:11 PM
Very interesting concept. Now I'm hooked and want to see if there is any resolution. At least you are doing it and to have gotten so far on the side is pretty impressive. I hope to see more. What are you going to do on the airplane after all > ha!

Jozvex
07-10-2006, 01:57 PM
Hey I just found this today! Where do I buy the t-shirt?

*fanclub counter goes up by one*

:thumbsup:

WWonka
07-27-2006, 05:41 AM
ok and then what happen?

Bonedaddy
07-27-2006, 05:52 AM
I'm really sorry, guys, I'm in the middle of dismantling my entire life and moving to Japan. I'll get back on this as soon as I can, but I don't know when that will be, unfortunately. :(

LoTekK
07-27-2006, 07:00 AM
Dude, don't worry about it. Get that move sorted out, and settle yourself down comfortably before you start worrying about the fanclub. :)

Gaudy
10-13-2006, 09:58 PM
Gambatee Jason , nice story u giving us.

Looking forward to look more of ur work , and the drawings are just ok the make the story understandable and ur characters express emotions , god job.:thumbsup:

kendallstump
10-14-2006, 08:11 PM
nice story, i can appriciate what it is you are trying to do.. breaking the mold of the everyday comic and proving that there is more than one way to skin a cat.

you have some good pages. i particularly like the page that is formed on silloetts ( spelling, i know). it was a dynamic angle and something that i think you should experiment with further.

if you can sell your "civilian" scenes, then the action scenes will be no problem. here is an example.

if you have a conversation between 2 people over a cup of coffee.. instead of a straight on view of them drinking thier coffee, why not show a reflection of one of the people in the pot as it is being poured and the other person being framed by the steam coming out of the pot and cup.

using dynamic set ups really help sell the story and it keeps those slower parts of the story still captivating so that the reader will not get borred.

another way of using dynamic shots is the panel layout on the page. dont stick to standard comic book panels.. use vertical or even triangular ones as well.

and above all... set up each shot... you need to be certain that you have an establishing shot everytime the scene changes or the reader can easily get lost or confused.

I hope that this helps and i look forward to seeing more.

GingerDave
11-08-2006, 09:07 PM
Hey

just found this and its uber cool, youve done a fantastic job with the dialogue, really beleivable characters, it makes the story very engrossing.

if the drawing isnt your main aim dont worry about it, you have more than adequate skills to get the story accross.

guess thats all, keep up the good work and i look forward to seeing more!

crick2x9
04-15-2007, 02:47 AM
more please! :thumbsup:
you left me hanging

alfsea
04-17-2007, 11:24 AM
Where's our next installment, then. Eh? Having a long BREAK Jason???

TEN MONTHS he's been settling in already!!! Hmm.... Japan must be a bit too much fun....
Or else the Art Therapy worked - and he's got over what made him do the 'comic' in the first place.

Harumph... we'd better all hope he'll have another emotional crisis soon, so we can get on with the story ;))

alfsea
04-17-2007, 11:25 AM
Where's our next installment, then. Eh? Having a long BREAK Jason???

TEN MONTHS he's been settling in already!!! Hmm.... Japan must be a bit too much fun....
Or else the Art Therapy worked - and he's got over what made him do the 'comic' in the first place.

Harumph... we'd better all hope he'll have another emotional crisis soon, so we can get on with the story ;))

Bonedaddy
04-19-2007, 01:03 PM
Arg. I deserve all the scorn you heap on me. Really, I do.

Life has been nuts since I moved to Japan. Drawing and whatnot hasn't seemed like such a big priority, what with all the things to see and do... spending time at home seemed like a bad way to spend my time.

I will be moving back to the States in August-ish, though, so I will start it back up around then, if not before.

Yeah, I know, little consolation. Well, in place of comics, here's some links to incredibly bizarre Japanese stuff.



A penis festival (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jashugan/sets/72157600039770204/).
My birthday at a sanatorium-themed restaurant (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jashugan/sets/72157594535403143/). More details here (http://complexdream.com/blog/?p=335#more-335), as well as detailed descriptions of my trip to Hokkaido (involves drunk Japanese truckers poking my junk!).
Some of my students' incredibly bizarre essays (http://complexdream.com/blog/?p=332).
That one day I saw the emperor and got caught in political riots caused by the yakuza (http://complexdream.com/blog/?p=37).
Fun times coercing groups of prostitutes to form impromptu cheering squads (http://complexdream.com/blog/?p=35#more-35).
The story of how I met my yakuza drinking buddy, Yuusuke (http://complexdream.com/blog/?p=21#more-21).


Sorry, folks, gotta go out and live life if you're gonna make art about it. I'll get back on the horse soon enough.

Djampa
04-21-2007, 02:59 PM
Nice to find it here :)



Hope you having some fun in Japan ;)

Kyotsukete.. !

Sayonara,

FalseCathedral
06-01-2007, 05:33 AM
hey dude...this is really cool. the story is quite immersing. I hope everything goes well for you in Japan. Why don't you do some CG in Asia?

FRENZIEDmind
06-02-2007, 04:57 AM
Hey a comic-strip still going! I missed this one. A tad naughty for me, but nice writing and words!

kabojnk
12-19-2007, 01:05 AM
Totally followed you here from that Maya API thread. Great comic! And I hate comics! Kept me reading all the way to the last page (only to find nothing further, but that's alright). Can you bring me back a Japanese toilet when you return?

Bonedaddy
12-19-2007, 01:10 AM
I actually did the first panel of the next page last night. Doing as much of the rest of the page as I can tonight.

Rebeccak
12-19-2007, 06:33 AM
Woo, update us, oh comic oriented one. Should be juicy. One of the characters needs to die! Oh wait, another one.

Bonedaddy
12-19-2007, 07:05 AM
Woo, update us, oh comic oriented one. Should be juicy. One of the characters needs to die! Oh wait, another one.

Anyone in particular?

Alright, second panel of three done. So far the art's coming along pretty well. For me, at least. One panel to go, but it'll have to be tomorrow (or, more likely, day after -- have plans tomorrow). Thanks all for sticking with it.

Bonedaddy
12-24-2007, 12:57 AM
http://break.complexdream.com/raw/break_038.jpg

OMGWTFBBQ!~!?!?!!?!@#@$^*%$22!

SylvanMist
12-26-2007, 09:43 PM
I clicked the link to your comic just for the hell of it, and I ended up reading the whole thing. It's really good! Can't wait to read more, hope you keep continuing with it! :)

Rebeccak
12-27-2007, 02:50 AM
Shouldn't that be, OMGWTFKBBQ? ;)

Nice, good to see that you're still rolling on this one!

Bonedaddy
01-02-2008, 06:23 AM
http://break.complexdream.com/comics/break_039.jpg

Another one! It's like the end of the world!

(also, slapped together a little GUI thing for the actual website (http://break.complexdream.com/))

Bonedaddy
01-07-2008, 06:34 AM
http://break.complexdream.com/comics/break_040.jpg

http://break.complexdream.com/comics/break_041.jpg


Two in one day!

alfsea
01-08-2008, 10:53 AM
Hah, LA is nowhere near as distracting as Tokyo, I see - so we get more episodes!

But what is a comms officer, please?

And how come she didn't belt him back? I would've.

Looking forward to the continuing story...

Bonedaddy
01-08-2008, 01:06 PM
But what is a comms officer, please?

Communications officer. Jack and his buddies are marines. Well, Jack WAS. He's out of the service now.

And how come she didn't belt him back? I would've.

Lina has... issues.

yenvalmar
01-21-2008, 01:08 AM
just me :) i love 3d though.

Bonedaddy
01-21-2008, 05:20 AM
just me :) i love 3d though.

See, that'd be the easy way out, for me.

revilo3D
02-23-2008, 01:54 PM
hooked! Keep em coming dude... i like :)

BenDstraw
10-06-2008, 01:03 AM
dig the comic!

i especially like how some of the situations are ones that real people can and have been in. I've even seen people like this. especially Lina and Wes. i need to follow all these in order because, I'm intrigued. :thumbsup:

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