Shot critique

[jayashton]

It looks pretty good so far, maybe not the smoothest though, idk what your looking for weither is realistic animation or cartoony, but this ones leading towards the cartoony kind, but if so then great job so far!!

[mezquida]

Thanks. I'm not sure what you meant by not the smoothest but yes it is "cartoony" or
rather stylized animation.

[Animonster]

I see the character sneaking, but I can't put it in to context, so it could appear that he is just trying to be quiet...that is where other little details will need to be relied upon:

If you want to make him look a bit more shady, don't have him go RIGHT in front of the wide open window - anyone could see you with that much silhoutte exposed through the window.

Another way you can add some sketchiness/creepiness would be to alter the way he moves through his spine. You could make him lead a lot more with his hip region, letting the upper torso lean WAY back, then slide forward to go into the next step. It would create something that resembles a slithering movement.

After he shuts the window, I can't really tell why he is still being sneaky (I guess that is a matter of story..is there more story?)

The last pose doesn't really make any sense. It looks like anticipation for something else, but then nothing is delivered

[mezquida]

Isn't there anybody that can break this down for me? Yes, it's cartoony animation. Yes, it's the
opening shot of a two minute piece. Yes, the character is checking what's outside the window
but also what's inside after he pulls down the shade. I need a fresh critical eye for poses,
timing, weight, overlap, etc. before I put in the detailed polish.

Thanks-A

[dalmanna]

i think if people can't figure out whats going on then you need make it clearer. i know thats not a crit on the animation but unless we know what he's doing and how hes supposed to be doing it, then we can't really crit the technical part stick up an animatic with sketches that have the 'feel' your after and we can compare it to you animation.:)

[mezquida]

Thanks for the tip dalmanna. It's just a guy about to do something that he doesn't want
anyone to see (outside the window or in the house). That's it.

-A

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