morphius-ms
01-30-2006, 09:55 PM
Ok so I forgot the name of the creatures that my group made up but they are like chickens so for the sakes of this story I am going to name them chickens.
Ok here is the story:
There is this demon chicken, Damon, and he sets up this trap in the barn yard.
He takes a Garbage can lid (or something similar) and fills it up with water. He then takes a bowl of food and puts it in the middle so that it is floating. He then takes a wire and puts it in the water. then he runs (or floats with fire coming from his feet [this is one of his abilities]) behind a couple of boxes where a battery is waiting.
Then a stupid chicken comes along (Gomez). He comes in and walks next to the chicken feed and then notices it. So he starts to eat the chicken feed. Damon then takes the other end of the wire and connects it to the battery, electricuting Gomez, sending him high into the air. Then a innocent cat comes in (Tadpole [or Tad for short]), he is playing with something and then notices the wire so he starts playing with that. Gomez sees the chicken feed and goes towards it again and starts eating. Damon again connects the wire and Gomez goes flying again. Then with Tad playing with the wire he knocks the wire out of the water. Gomez goes to eat again (he is stupid you know) and Damon trys to electricute him again and it doesn't work. Damon tries again and it still doesn't work. Damon then comes around the corner and starts following the wire until he comes up to Tad.
*Flash back* Damon (in his real life) is walking with his buddy (a stupid chicken). Damon then walks into the barn but his buddy stays out and accidentally closes the door. and since it is an old style door it locks. Then there is a sign on the door that says "Beware of Cat". And the cat inside the barn starts tearing up Damon. *End Flashback*
So Tad notices Damon and starts to go after him (just walking because he likes Damon). Damon freaks and turns and runs into a basketball goal. (the pole) At this time Gomez finishes the feed and steps out of the water. He then notices the wire and since he thinks the wire is supposed to be in the water he picks it up and put it in the water. Being disoriented Damon turns and notices that Tad is still after him so he turns and forgetting the pole is there runs into it again. Then he turns and sees Tad again and starts running toward his trap.
When he steps into his trap he get electricuted and flys into the air himself.
THE END
Any C&C would be appreciated. You may have seen this story in the Animation WIP thread but I didn't see this one so I posted it in that one first. Since I didn't get any C&C there I figured that I would post it here and see if I would have a better chance here.
Thanks in advance,
Morphius
Ok here is the story:
There is this demon chicken, Damon, and he sets up this trap in the barn yard.
He takes a Garbage can lid (or something similar) and fills it up with water. He then takes a bowl of food and puts it in the middle so that it is floating. He then takes a wire and puts it in the water. then he runs (or floats with fire coming from his feet [this is one of his abilities]) behind a couple of boxes where a battery is waiting.
Then a stupid chicken comes along (Gomez). He comes in and walks next to the chicken feed and then notices it. So he starts to eat the chicken feed. Damon then takes the other end of the wire and connects it to the battery, electricuting Gomez, sending him high into the air. Then a innocent cat comes in (Tadpole [or Tad for short]), he is playing with something and then notices the wire so he starts playing with that. Gomez sees the chicken feed and goes towards it again and starts eating. Damon again connects the wire and Gomez goes flying again. Then with Tad playing with the wire he knocks the wire out of the water. Gomez goes to eat again (he is stupid you know) and Damon trys to electricute him again and it doesn't work. Damon tries again and it still doesn't work. Damon then comes around the corner and starts following the wire until he comes up to Tad.
*Flash back* Damon (in his real life) is walking with his buddy (a stupid chicken). Damon then walks into the barn but his buddy stays out and accidentally closes the door. and since it is an old style door it locks. Then there is a sign on the door that says "Beware of Cat". And the cat inside the barn starts tearing up Damon. *End Flashback*
So Tad notices Damon and starts to go after him (just walking because he likes Damon). Damon freaks and turns and runs into a basketball goal. (the pole) At this time Gomez finishes the feed and steps out of the water. He then notices the wire and since he thinks the wire is supposed to be in the water he picks it up and put it in the water. Being disoriented Damon turns and notices that Tad is still after him so he turns and forgetting the pole is there runs into it again. Then he turns and sees Tad again and starts running toward his trap.
When he steps into his trap he get electricuted and flys into the air himself.
THE END
Any C&C would be appreciated. You may have seen this story in the Animation WIP thread but I didn't see this one so I posted it in that one first. Since I didn't get any C&C there I figured that I would post it here and see if I would have a better chance here.
Thanks in advance,
Morphius