Glimmer

[D-Alexander]

this is a very nice animation YeeWu, i love the eyes the whole style very much accentuates an anime style, would you mind if i ask how long the whole production has taken to date?

[HenningK]

Neat. I love animations with pretty lights! I'm not even being sarcastic. I do.
I was aghast at the ending and felt very lonely. So I was definitely engaged and brought into the "place" of the movie.
Animation needs work (I know you're aware of it, but what kind of critique would this be...).
She is weightless, but not in a purposeful way... her feet slide a little bit and nothing on her body moves but her legs. Her hands need a different pose every once in a while.
Lighting: I see from one of the still renders that her eyes are purple... get some light into them in the film so that they arent just black blobs with giant spec highlights. Even so, for most of the movie, she is too well-lit (it doesn't seem like the light is actually coming from her lantern), and so we dont notice the effect (which should be dramatic) when more lights turn on around her.
love,hen

[Obaid3DFX]

well!

It is really fantastic....I like the moode.

no comments except the ones mentioned by HenningK.

[Sagii]

Hi, Great work, I really like the work you have done on this character the dress is lovely! I love the painted backrounds and the bridge scene with the light reflecting from the water is very beautiful. I like this piece it is different and interesting. I find that working with lights is difficult and I think you did a great job using your lights.

What I like best about this piece is that you are not only focusing on animation, but this is the whole package, You have a nice character, lighting, beautiful textures, animation and a nice concept here. I find it very mysterious and the end does make me a feel lonely. When you finish the rest of the 40 missing seconds you will have a great short :)
Great job :thumbsup: 5 stars.

[Rebeccak]

Donald,

Congratulations on the front page plug! :thumbsup: (And no, it wasn't me who did it). I know how hard you have worked on this, and it is fairly incredible that you've turned in such a beautiful piece given the fact that there is quite literally one Maya class at Mason. You've definitely gone above and beyond, and deserve whatever opportunities which come your way. :)

I was quite excited to see the screening of your animation during your senior show ~ the scene with the bridge and it's reflection is quite stunning, imo. I very much enjoy how you have combined the 2D bkgrd elements with the 3D; and the music is just right ~ haunting, lyrical, just a bit searching as well. There is an incredible maturity to this piece which one does not often see. Great work, and congrats again! :)

Cheers,

~Rebeccak

[YeeWu]

D.Alexander: Thank you. I started doing sketches about a year and a half ago. I really wish I could say that I had spent the entire year and a half working on this, but I barely had time to work on this at all during the course of a few semesters. It wasn't until these past two months that I really started working on this feverishly. It's hard to quantify, but I'd say it was a year and a half of work off and on, and in my free time.

HenningK: Great critique! I absolutely agree with everything you said. I definitely will address these in the future :) I don't have much experience with character animation, and it's been a real effort getting this to where it is now. But I will continue to try and push it!

Alom: Thanks!

Ines: Thanks so much for the kind words! It's been a fun semester :)

*edit - adding Rebecca* I'm very glad you could make it to my senior show. You'll have to thank my friend Yang for the music. He's a wonderful musician. Thank you :)

[RobertoOrtiz]

As I promised, you have been plugged.

You are VERY talented, and I hope to see more of your other animations in
our forum. As I told you, your animation is full of style and grace.


Later

-R

[blz]

very nice animation, i quite enjoyed it.
keep up the good work!
congratulations

[archerx]

Thats pretty good, but her eyes were way to dark making it kinda creepy.... and i don't get the ending...:wavey:

[Leshiy3d]

very very well, especially the hair dynamics and lighting
and... wonderful music, it reminds me Zatôichi movie ;)

[RockinAkin]

Great job Donald - Congratulations on you plug. :thumbsup:

[dickma]

I have a little crit about the animation.

Firstly, the lantern that the girl carries has it own movement, without consider it is a constrain movement that is attached with a string. That is not realistic thru, especially at the scene when the girl is distracted by a group of lanterns and she makes a turn, the lantern's movement seems out of control.

And her lefthand is almost paralyzed thru the animation. If the sleeves of the kimono has extension that is OK if she keep the hand like that, but it is not.

And a little crit about the modeling, as you see that the girl's eyes are a bit flatten when in the side view, due to the face contour isn't deep enough to show eye sockets.

[blaize]

Really nice looking *thumbs up*

a question about the eyes though:
We're you able to fit a sphere in the model for eyes, or did you use a FFD(box) modifier ?

i've tried anime faces before and always had trouble with the eyes, using an FFD modifier has given me some succes though.

thanx

[arvid]

I don't think this piece need the scrutiny of CG-experts, but to judged by the story itself, or the film as a whole. I understand you're pretty new to animation, and I'd say - no matter which medium or tool you choose - this is a very emotional and beautiful film. CG skills can always be obtained and improved, but subtle story telling like this is something different, you made the right choice in posting it.

Good work! :applause:

[Kid-Mesh]

The visuals, the sound, and the staging had me from the begining. I usually try to watch a piece and see what the artist is trying to "say" other than trying to break down what they did wrong. How could we ever enjoy anything? :shrug:

Everyone needs improvement that's a given but this was nicely done.

Thanks for posting and entertaining us with your style :thumbsup:

[danielkenobi]

Nice I hope you correct it and post it again, really nice atmosphere.

[dickma]

It isn't right to say anything constructive for his animation, may be for his further animation projects?

I didn't want to break the mood or I am not a CG Expert. The others of course can notice the mistakes but I think it is not a sin if I say it out.

[YeeWu]

Noooooo! I lost my post :( Anyway,

Roberto: Thanks again for pushing me to post. I really would never have done it unless I had spoken with you on Friday!

archerx: Yea, her eyes do get a little weird! She looks like she has black holes for eyes in certain scenes :D

Leshiy3d: Thank you :)

DivideByZero: Many thanks to you and the other leaders of GMU Siggraph!

DickMa: I knew someone would comment on the lantern dynamics :P There are a few scenes that I should have manually animated the lantern, particularly the very scene you mentioned (which, in my opinion, is the weakest scene in the animation). I didn't like how the lantern does a 360 spin and slows down to a rest, but that's what I got after fiddling with the dynamics. Agreed abou the hand :) Could you elaborate a little more on the eye modeling part? It was a trouble area for me from the very beginning, but this was the best I could do.

blaize: Fitting a spherical eye in there would have been preferable! You're right, I did use a lattice to correct the movement of her eyes :)

arvid: I'm very glad you liked the story, and thanks for the kind words :)

Kid Mesh: I really appreciate your words, and am glad you could enjoy it.

danielkenobi: I will definitely continue to work on this (there will be added content too). I don't know when I'll truly finish it, but I will ;)

[RobertoOrtiz]

I don't think this piece need the scrutiny of CG-experts, but to judged by the story itself, or the film as a whole. I understand you're pretty new to animation, and I'd say - no matter which medium or tool you choose - this is a very emotional and beautiful film. CG skills can always be obtained and improved, but subtle story telling like this is something different, you made the right choice in posting it.

Good work! :applause:
Thus the plug.

You guys should see HIS OTHER animation

-R.

[bigbad]

*SPOILER*
*SPOILER*
*SPOILER*



I don't get it. What's the story? All I got was she walks and disappears. Enlighten me.

Edit: I mean no disrespect by any means.

[RobertoOrtiz]

this is WHY I like the animation so much.

I told a story, something that WE all should be doing more of.
SPOILER according to Ines
(Just select the INVISO text below)
The Girl is a Ghost

-R

[Adriano-Zanetti]

Congrats for your work, I'm finding out myself now how heavy is the task to bring a short animated flick from scratch to completion on your own :thumbsup:

However, as you mentionned it yourself, there's still a lot to do about the animation, some serious refining needs to be done, especially on the walk cycles as your character isn't doing much more than walking all along its path, it could use a bit bit more smoothness and variations. For the rest, I can't say I'm a big fan, it's very very dark, I would have very much like to see more interaction between your lights and the environment, to bring some magic and harmony in there, but no, everything stays very dark all the way. That's it for my very subjective C&C.

Once again anyway, congrats for completing your project! The hardest's done now I believe, I sure hope you'll take the time to refine and tweak it a bit more to take it to a higher level...cause so far... it doesn't deserve a frontpage if you ask me!

friendly,

Adriano

[Sagii]

YeeWu can you tell us where the idea came from? I know that there is still a chunk of the animation still in the works. I think the story will be more clear when you have added that in. Can you tell us more about the story?

What I like so much about this piece is all the little details in lighting, camera angles, colors, texttures and the beautiful bridge scene. There is so many nice elements that show real creativity :arteest:

[gavin_hughes]

am i blind, or did i not see the same animation you all saw...
or are you all just saying taht to sound artistically savvy?...
or maybe i should just keep my comments about this animation to myself... yea better idea.

[Ultimatebadass]

That is certainly a nice piece of animation. Though, as some have pointed out - it might not be perfect from a technical point of view, they way it tells a story is just great (I really like the lighting and camera animation in there) - i felt really engaged in it from start to end.

If that's one of your first productions then I'd say you have a very bright future in this business with a start like that.

:applause:

[gunslingerblack]

well done for only having one class in maya, the animation can use some tightening up , but im sure it's not something ur already aware of. keep up the good work , i would love to see you do a second pass on this later on down the line and repost it.

congrats on getting a front page plug as well

[dickma]

DickMa: I knew someone would comment on the lantern dynamics :P There are a few scenes that I should have manually animated the lantern, particularly the very scene you mentioned (which, in my opinion, is the weakest scene in the animation). I didn't like how the lantern does a 360 spin and slows down to a rest, but that's what I got after fiddling with the dynamics. Agreed abou the hand :) Could you elaborate a little more on the eye modeling part? It was a trouble area for me from the very beginning, but this was the best I could do.


Lantern can be very simple by just bone rigging I think. Give up dynamics and try to do it manually instead of dynamic calculation. (if you animate a fish rod it is good one, however, it is a lantern.) Hand animation has no problem, if your kimono's sleeves has cloth extensions that long enough to almost touch the ground. But it is not so you should make a little swing of the left arm.

About the eyes, Your eyeball is not a sphere but if you flatten the eyeball, it should like an oval shape, then you eyeball should place more in front of the face, and eye socket modeling should follow the eyeball contour, and try harder to model out a double eyelid, that means eyelid still can be seen as the eyelid fold out a line when eye is open.

[momoko-c]

Very good work. I like the story, idea and effects. But.... sorry to say this, her costume is so much not right.... It make me wired to see Kimono sleeve like that. And bridge shape is not right either. If any Japanese see this animation, then people will point out those things 100%. Those are might hard to tell with non-Japanese, but... still, I hope you'll fix those problems. :) So it will be perfect.

[Kate-chan]

wow, this is so cuteee! I love the way you made her, that anime style, really lovely ! *.*

[bigbad]

this is WHY I like the animation so much.

I told a story, something that WE all should be doing more of.
SPOILER according to Ines
(Just select the INVISO text below)
The Girl is a Ghost

-R

Okey. Well then the story doesn't impress me. There are others animations with much more interesting stories.

Like Egghunt. That even had a message.

[]_onewolf]

You have great style and the piece looked very beautiful. It reminded of spirited away by Miyazaki. The only things that lack to me is the story and animation, especially the walk cycle u have there. The story itself is confusing, you dont give any reason or clarity behind her disappearance. If you look closely her feet slide back everytime she walks which really takes away from this piece. Also with her arm, when shes carrying the lantern it feels paper light the way shes carrying it. I know you probably wont change these things since its all completed...but i suppose maybe look out for these things on your next project.

[Salaadin]

first i would like to say the general look and feel is great ..every thing blends in right ..however, the animation needs a lot of work ..i know you might have heard this from others.. the walk cycle has no weight and needs to look more real .ie. the motion of the arms , hands, hip and head must have more movement, you need secondary action...the main key poses need to be stronger .. some curves need work..specially when her feet contact the ground, the cuves there should be set on stepped and break the tangency to show that there is impact..just small things like that make the big picture if you know what i mean ..again weldone and good luck..

[Elsie]

Regardless of the flaws that have been pointed out, I thought it was beautiful, very ethereal. The lights looked wonderful, the music was the perfect choice, a simple story told very well - I don't know what else to say :) five stars doesn't seem enough!

[Salaadin]

and by the way a good way to fix the sliding on the walk cycle when she walks is to make a new empty group and parent the the controls to it..then, transilate the group according to one complete step..finally selct that group and make the animation curve set to cycle with off set..

[brownimation]

Well, my two cents is about the same as everyone else, but I figured I'd mention anyway. Animation does need work, but great story and wonderful lighting. I understand you're going to polish, but you've laid a nice foundation of lighting that pulls focus to the right places and sets the right mood. Congrats.

[Somhairle]

Great storytelling piece Don. very subtle and enjoyable! I can't wait to see more!

http://forums.cgsociety.org/images/rating/rating_5.gif

[vitachi]

The water reflecting the two bridges is on the money. Your shot compositions are very strong. The look of amazement on the girl's face as she discovers the floating light is charming. This is a beautiful animation. :thumbsup:

[jammin]

this is WHY I like the animation so much.

I told a story, something that WE all should be doing more of.
SPOILER according to Ines
(Just select the INVISO text below)
The Girl is a Ghost

-R

she WHAT? man, i must be an idiot because i did not see that coming at all!
I was intrigued by the fact that even though i did not understand the story, i still enjoyed it and found it somewhat captivating, even haunting (really, no pun intended). how is that possible? -good storytelling, that's how. nice job.

[powerdan]

Congrats for the PLUG!. but i must say that i see some problems in the animation, in some shots the Walk Cicle dont look good, need more work, also need to practice the Acting.

The Skin Texture, its good if you're trying to get Pixar Style.

The Hair Texture i dont Like it, dont match with the Style of the Skin and the Beauty texture of the KIMONO (dress).

The Lights need a little more job, in some shots.

EDIT: I forgot, the Caustic Fake, its good, but need more animation frames, 'cause looks to ciclic

Congrats again, excellent work, how much time take you do all the PRE-POST and production ?

[YeeWu]

Roberto: Other animation? Are you talking about my "Four Seasons" animation?

Adriano_Zanetti: Yea, I had a lot of trouble trying to light this thing. I still feel I have a long way to go on this project though :)

Ines: I'll get into the background and stuff a little later, after these responses ;)

gavin_hughes: Thanks for leaving your thoughts up to my imagination

Ultimatebadass: Haha, I love your name :P Thanks for watching!

gunslingerblack: Thanks, and I definitely will continue to work on this.

Dick Ma: Thanks for the further crit.

momoko-c: I'm very well aware of the fact that her sleeve is not a proper kimono sleeve. As much as I would have loved to have done a proper sleeve, I didn't know enough about Maya to actually pull off a long sleeve (I can kinda think of a way to do it now, but I doubt it would work without a lot of tweaking), and I knew I wouldn't have time to investigate cloth dynamics. As for the bridges, they weren't meant to be Japanese, they're Chinese inspired :) I apologize to those who find this visually jarring; my original intention was to mix different cultural influences together, but it just didn't come out right, and this was the outcome. Thanks for the input :)

Kate-chan: Glad to hear you liked it :)

bigbad: Sorry to disappoint you.

]_onewolf: Ah, I can kinda explain the whole disappearance thing. I had to cut out a large chunk out of the animation. It was pretty significant to the story of the animation, but at the same time, I felt it was possible to get the general idea from the version you see here. I honestly didn't have the time to finish lighting and rendering that chunk, so I ended up taking it out completely. I'll make note of what you said, because I will be revisiting this soon.

Salaadin: A funny thing about the walk cycle was that I really thought it looked ok...until I rendered it out O_o Great tips on animating. Thanks a bunch :)

Elsie: Thank you!

brownimation: Thanks!

Somhairle: Glad you enjoyed it :)

vitachi: Thank you!

jammin: I hope I can clear up any confusion about the story in a later revision. I'm happy to hear that you were able to enjoy it even if you didn't get the story :)

powerdan: Thank you :) Agreed on the caustics fake. It definitely needs more frames added to it. Pre-Post production time...hmmm, pre-production took a really long time. For the year and a half (most of this was done in my spare time) that I spent on it, I was probably in pre-production for over a year. The story I had in the beginning was completely different, thanks to my brother shooting down weak shots and offering a whole lot of advice. I did a lot of character design sketches, trying to hammer out a costume. Eventually, I eventually settled on this very modified kimono, which, to me, looked the best (even if it was inaccurate). I ended up doing a lot of storyboards, animatics, and playblast animatics to get where I am now. I was still planning, changing shots, and working on animatics 2 months ago.

Post production was another story. I crammed rendering and compositing (as well as fixing as many glitchy renders as I could) into the span of 2 weeks, unfortunately. I would have loved to have had more time, but I didn't have much of a choice if I wanted to be able to present this at my senior show.

I decided to take the link to the divX version down, just because I really didn't like how dark it was looking. I may have to try to export an h.264 version and see how that looks on my CRT. If it looks any better, maybe I'll replace the link with that.

[amannin]

Definitely some beautiful scenes, otherwise, I think has already been covered, both good and bad. Oh, and I did not quite follow the ending either --- guess that adds me to the list.

Also, as mentioned by Robert Ortiz, I looked at your website. I like your designs and concept work -- and I also noticed that you work at your school, in the computer labs, and you act as the teacher's assistant -- haha, that's so me -- what a coincidence :)

my advice ~ keep working on this (don't start anything new until you've nailed this one)

GOODLUCK

[IllustriousWarriors]

Great work, I think the pupil should become smaller due to the light.

[dingo]

Any mirrors? Can't get to the file.

[Frojack]

V. impressive work. While there are issues here and there, the piece on a whole is very successful. You say you are aware of the issues so there really isn't any need to critique an incomplete work. Get it guys. It's not finished.
Even if you left it like this, you would still have a wonderful piece. Every work has it's detractors, you cannot please everyone. Just be content to know you have produced a very good piece, and have progressed a bit along the path to greatness :) . We are all on it I suppose, but not many take the steps. Congrats man.

[penartist26]

good job for u! my only crtiq'z man u need to add some lighting at the eye of that cute girl character of urs its toooo blacky looks scarey without light effect yeah the movement also make it more realistic the hand body hair head legs im sure the output will be nice,+6 here

[Piddu]

Absolutely F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!

I love this model.:love:

GREAT JOB! :applause:

Bye

[djhush]

I like it alot.

It has a nice feeling to it and works fine with the music. You both have done a great job. It would be nice to see a wireframe w/ the girl.
Big ups.

ps, think you should maybe work a little more w/ the light and the rope hanging from it. It's the only thing that really bothered me, but again BIG UPS...
ds

[e5visualmedia]

link death , make a mirror plz :|

[YeeWu]

amannin: Don't worry, I'll continue to work on this :) Good to hear I'm not the only lab monkey around ;)

Chantyloc: Thanks. The dilating pupil was in my storyboards, but I never really got around to trying it out. I'll give it a try in the future :)

Frojack: Aw, thanks man :) Your words mean a lot to me, and I really appreciate your input.

dingo + Max_4_arch: Hmmm...I'm not really sure why you both can't access the file. I tried it myself and it works for me. I'll see what I can do about mirrors tonight.

nards26: Thank you!

pidduz82: Thanks!

djhush: Thanks. I'll keep working on the whole lantern thing. I only have one wireframe of her face at the moment (I'll get around to making some more a little later today).

http://www.effloresce.com/art/animations/girl_head_wireframe.gif

[Limiter]

Im really touch by the story of this. great shots. I think the animation is fine too...

she is a small girl, its kinda hard to walk in a kimono like that. think of it like a walking doll.

Im not too good at tech stuff. but how did u do the hair?

[Djampa]

Your are going to have a great short! :thumbsup:

Congratulations, it is a great effort to make a short, I can say that... *lol*
I can´t post anything yet about my short, only February.
You made a nice mystery mood, the 'japanese feel' is so nice and well done.
Wish you the best luck ever, and keep going, never give up, it is a pretty artwork trully.
Please share with us the progress anytime, whatever the community can help we will help.

See ya

[YeeWu]

Limiter: Big thanks :) I'm pretty glad you mentioned the whole restrictive movement thing. I had done about 5 different walk cycles, and all my early ones were really really loose, which I felt didn't fit the mood of the piece, and it also didn't seem very likely considering her outfit. I think I ended up stiffening her up too much though, and her current walk cycle needs a lot more work. For her hair, I used soft bodies.

Djampa: Thanks! I'm looking forward to hearing and seeing more about your short :)

Here are some more wires:

http://www.effloresce.com/art/animations/glimmer/girlFrontWire.jpg

http://www.effloresce.com/art/animations/glimmer/girlSideWire.jpg

http://www.effloresce.com/art/animations/glimmer/girlBackWire.jpg

[bluefire]

First I just want to say WOW! I'm just learning Maya and I know I could not pull that off. For me, I got the story from the beginning. I guess the reason I got it so quick was I have just finished reading a book where that was a large part of the character's make-up.

I personally loved the eyes. It seems to fit the concept overall.

Lastly, Great visualization of your story. Sure you may have a few issues, but you know where they all are if you have spent that much time on it.

[FireEyeC]

Hey how are you guys downloading the file? Its not working for me, I'd love to see this = ]

[nemirc]

I didn't get it :shrug:
She is walking along the path. Looking for something I assume. What? I don't know... Why? hell knows... I am missing her whole purpose and thus that makes the story very shalow to me. As for the ending, I would think she is somehow connected to the light and that she cannot exist in darkness, so when the light goes out she dies. Nevertheless, that leaves me with even more questions :curious:

As for the animation. I don't see much to critic. Almost all she does is walk.

I liked the little girl, though. Very lovely.

[YeeWu]

bluefire: Thanks! Glad you got the story :) At this point, the only thing I see when I look at this are all the mistakes!:D

FireEyesC: Hey, I finally got around to putting up a mirror. I ask that you only use the mirror IF the original link doesn't work. Mirror here (http://www.effloresce.com/art/animations/glimmer/Glimmer_small.zip)

nemirc: Thanks for the feedback :)

[Loulu79]

Congrats Yeewu on Front Page!

The end is awefully sad yet thought provoking...like what on earth happened to her after that blackout-seriously what happened to her?

The lights were lovely.

My few 2 cents for improvement would be the following:

* She had such simple facial expressions...It would be more interesting to give her more.
*Edit: She needs more oomph to her character...However she is cute...!
* The hints - I feel I shouldn't be guessing as to what's going on and why. A few hints...like her soul as a green light would be fine to know what has happened to her...something of the sort.

But overall ... I love the simplicity of the animation. And the animation itself was clean, crisp...and very well done.

Congrats on Front Page Again...And Happy Holidays!

Edit: I realized that this character might be a link to an old fable/fairytale of Japan or certain parts of Asia. But what about your audience? Do they know that. Next time...give hints that'll help your audience to know where your character is coming from...I'm for what others have to say about your work and....I hate to be annoying or obvious but that's your weak area - strong storytelling. You do have potential as we've seen in your work. She's so cute and appealing. And the mood is very interestingly mysterious. There's drama at the end. These strong areas are just a hint of what you can do in the near future. You can do this.

I hope what I said above is more than helpful. ;)

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