REAL WORLD:Relationships at work: Why is this a big NONO? What makes it Harrasment?

[Boone]

Believe it or not, quite a few people do actually meet their life partner at work. :wise:

What one has to remember is that they keep the relationship seperate from work. Walking into work and snogging your partner infront of everyone else is plain stupid. Interacting with your partner like you would another employee is simply common sense.

When work is over - anything goes. :hmm:

I personally go to work to get money - not a social life. Thats what my free time is for. However, if I met some gorgeous stunner at work and we got on with each other very well - we'd save it for afterwork.

Just use your brain. :D

[XLNT-3d]

I think it is ok if it is your boss or someone that can help you get a really good pay raise or advancement in the company. Also, if your company has an in-house day care, making a family could work because you can all carpool into work and eat lunch together. Then as your child grows older, you have the opportunity to take advantage of nepotism.

[RobertoOrtiz]

I think it is ok if it is your boss or someone that can help you get a really good pay raise or advancement in the company. Also, if you company has an in-house day care, making a family could work because you can all carpool into work lunch together.
LOL!


-R

[jakiloblanco]

I dunno... my GF and I work at the same place... It does get a tad tough sometimes, because you get to see your partner ALL the time... we live together too. It's like anything, too much of a good thing can easilly turn to a bad thing...

And if/when you were to breakup, the idea of seeing your ex-partner with someone else can trigger pretty bad emotional responses in both parties... even the idea of being around them... the feeling that you can't escape is dominant because you know they're in the next room... it's harder to not think about them, which brings you to poor productivity.

There's WAY too many senarios to think of, but in the end, if you aren't careful or if you're just an emotionless psycho (which seems to be the case for alot of animators I know :)) it's hard to be productive when all you can think of is making peace with that person that's no longer yours, but is in the other room, or worse, right in front of you every day.

Is the show getting done? That is the question. No one cares about your feelings. which is an entirely new argument :D

[barcode]

At the studio I work two couples were hired (one married, one living together) and another programmer is being brought on who is already in a relationship with one of the artists. Haven't had any problems so far. Several of these folks had alot of experience already and it is a new and fairly small company which might help.

[XLNT-3d]

Actually our company is pretty serious about it. If you have a spouse that also works here, then one of you have to quit. If you marry someone at my work, then one of you have to quit. If you marry someone that wants to work here, then YOU have to quit if you want them to get hired.

[Bonedaddy]

Okay, so, every woman I've known in this industry gets hit on. A lot. To the point of discomfort. Making things hard for them in the workplace is uncool. I'm not saying don't try to ask co-workers out, I'm saying that if they aren't interested, take a hint. And quickly.

My ex has this problem. She is ridiculously hot, and into video games, so every guy she meets judges her solely based on her looks, instead of on her skills. She hates it, because nobody takes her seriously.

[MikeRhone]

Ah, sometimes things happen... :blush: in my small experience, we both were smart enough to stop well before anything really started. To be honest between the 2 of us, conversations fell back to "work" more often than I cared for. Everything is cool, calm and we're back to bieng good friends. No worries!

The real NO-NO is for teachers who date students. I have seen that happen before, and it is very much a NO NO. So I repeat, for sanity, personal, proffestional, and possibly LEGAL reasons, dont date your students.

**Edit: I should also note that one of my former bosses has been known to let go of 1 half of a couple if he finds out they are dating. He is very much a no-relationships-in-the-office supervisor.

[jakiloblanco]

[QUOTE]

The real NO-NO is for teachers who date students. I have seen that happen before, and it is very much a NO NO. So I repeat, for sanity, personal, proffestional, and possibly LEGAL reasons, dont date your students.
[QUOTE]

We got one of those in my studio :D The teacher isn't a teacher rigtnow though... so, is that ok? ;) You should see them... a tiny Asia girl and a giant Dutchman... Treebeard we call him.

[XLNT-3d]

what is CGTalk's policy on dating other forum members? :p

Personally I am married and quite happy that my wife has nothing to do with this industry. She doesn't even like computers that much. Especially when I spend too much time on one.

[Kanga]

Jeez Robert you come up with the most amazing topics,... what's in that head of yours?

I guess if 60% of your waking life is spent at work (if you arnt a freelancer) then there is a good chance you will meet someone.

Ladies don't generally go for getting hit on but sometimes when you are in the general area alot together it can kind of click. You could be really stoic,..."No mixin with the enemy",... or you could go with the flow and try take into account your surroundings.

It happened to me twice while working in different companies, both times it ended badly. Funny thing tho,... each time I worked my nads off! I am not agressive by nature but emotional turmoil brings out the best and worst and I can get a huge ammount of work done. I rekon work is the best way to dodge disasters in life.:twisted:

To be fair I think many of these relationships work out rather well for most people. I did work for one European company that had a silent rule about messing around with someones husband or wife,.... I though 'fair enough'. If you did that you got the turbo boot!

I don't find it fair to forbid relationships,... if people are happy they work better. I think if you are told on commencement about the rule then you decide for yourself.

[aleinlatin]

The real NO-NO is for teachers who date students. I have seen that happen before, and it is very much a NO NO. So I repeat, for sanity, personal, proffestional, and possibly LEGAL reasons, dont date your students.

Too late for me. Have been dating my g/f who was my student for two weeks for about 17 months. I may note that I started dating her after she finished my course. She still was a student at the institution though.

I think that you have to note that if they are in the same class as teacher-student it is not such a good idea. You really have to draw the line in for this kind of things and not cross it. EVER!! May be hard, but you're not doing it coz you're being made to.

[Simon]

Aint experienced it... but Back in my schooldays. In classes sat next to my gf. When we broke up after 9 months (the week after id bought her a 8 diamond white gold ring for chrimbo and she dumped me with the line "I dont find you attractive")

It was torture, talking to her made me feel aweful and I couldnt concentrate at all.

Its hell guys. Really don't hook up with people you have to work with.

[Lyr]

I don't see what the problem is. I work with my wife now and did at my last job.

[TheChosen1]

I can see why there'd be problems, but sometimes you have to take chances if its going to be worthwhile. I know at my work there are very few girls but there are one or two that actually like video games and cool vfx heavy films. (I'm a game tester) It makes more sense to meet someone there who shares my interest than to try to find some chick at a bar or something who does not share my love for nerdish stuff. :cool:

There are some people who date each other at my work and it seems fine. However, they are game testers so its not like its some permament serious job. It feels more like school. I catch myself referring to work as school because it feels more like college than work.

Work and school are the best places to meet girls that actually have something in common with you.

[RobertoOrtiz]

Thanks for the replies guys.


-R

[FloydBishop]

Why is this a big No-No? My wife would KILL me, that's why! ;)

In all seriousness, never really thought about how bad women have it in the industry until I started up my own studio. My first hire was a woman who had just graduated from school, but was an incredible traditional artist. She had some Lightwave training, but it was obvious that if she had more high end tools, she could take her work to the next level.

Everywhere we go, people assume she is my wife or girlfriend. Just based on apperances, they don't think she knows anything about CG. Then she shows her work, and people realize that she's a professional CG artist, too.

She's constantly getting hit on. Every festival or event we go to, she gets a lot of attention. I think it bugs her a bit sometimes. On a trip in the summer, I stopped to get gas at a gas station. I went in to pay for the gas, and when I came out, there were two guys leaning on my car talking to her... so I set off my car alarm with my remote :)

I wouldn't mind if there was dating in the office, as long as it didn't interfere with work. We're about to expand in the coming year, so maybe this will start to be an issue for us... who knows? I'd stop any unwanted flirting though for sure. That's 100% not cool.

[Solothores]

A lot of our members are about to enter into the workforce,
and I thought this is a worthwhile topic.

Specially with the holiday parties coming.

A lot of companies have very STRONG fraternation rules, and
there is a GOOD reason for them,

So I post this question to the forum:

Why relationships AT WORK are a bad idea?
What are the consequences for the employer and the employee.

Looking forward to your comments.

-R

Are they really a bad idea? Is there any study out there backing that claim up? Sounds like a myth, created by opinion, that ppl take up and kinda accept. I worked in so many relationship-open companies, that still were highly professional and efficient.

I guess however, especially us-companies ban it explicitly to minimize the risk of sexual harrassment that could result from it and get them sued.

cheers
Solo



cheers
Solo

[psyop63b]

She's constantly getting hit on. Every festival or event we go to, she gets a lot of attention. I think it bugs her a bit sometimes.

She doesn't have to like it, and I am NOT saying it is right, but it is part of the territory. It's the same as the female mechanics I used to work with; for every 1 of them there are 15-20 male mechanics, so naturally they get a lot of unwanted attention.

Edit: This might be something industry males need to be educated on when they get their sexual harassment training. It might help them to appreciate the situation women face in the industry, and reduce the number of these occurrences.

[RobertoOrtiz]

The question with all this unwanted attention...


Would this be considered sexual harrasment?
What do you guys (and gals) think?


-R

[Bonedaddy]

I think most everyone in the industry has a pretty liberal view of sexual harrasment. It'd take a lot to really push me to say, yes, that's harrasment. But there is a large grey area of "****ing annoying" between "A-okay" and "Sexual harrasment."

I knew some guys at one of the larger studios who would constantly be unplugging their KVM switches just so they could call over the hot tech support girl and watch her crawl around on her hands and knees. THAT is borderline harrasment. That's not good for the production, the work environment, or anything. That's just mean.

But most of the stuff I've been witness to (and, sadly, I think have helped commit once or twice) has been in the grey area of "****ing annoying." Taking a hint is a fine skill that every guy in this industry needs to have down.

[PhilWesson]

Well, I work in a the management office of my mall, and there are 2000 employees.
Is it hard not to get into relationships, absolutely!
You see these people almost every day, you get to know them, and you spend most of your time interacting with them. How could you -not- get attached?

Then there's the whole "don't dip your pen into the corporate ink" way of thinking. If it's done in a smart way (IE: keeping work at work and home at home), then it can work out. But that can be difficult at times, i'm sure.

As far as harassment is concerned, (and we actually had an issue of this recently), I would say that anything that is deemed unacceptable by the reciever is harassment. General rule of thumb is that the receiever says (first time) that it's not acceptable and wants it to stop, then (second time), immediately goes to that person's supervisor. Then (if you work in a corporate environment), an invenstigation starts, and trust me, i've seen those happen, and it's no fun for anyone.

Another interesting question is what if the harassment is falsified like in my bosses case? Someone wanted a raise and he didn't give her one. All of a sudden rumors are flying that so and so said this and that, and corporate gets involved....

[Alice]

Guess it depends on why your attracted to the person.
Depending on what kind of attraction there is, there will be two different outcomes. If you like the person cause its a genuine nice person and you can imagine spending the rest of your life with him/her yatta yatta... Go for it! If your attracted to the person cause he/she is hot, you find power sexy etc... then you better of picking up a one night stand at a pub.

Generally, relations with good or honest intentions turns out ok, whilst "affairs" is shit.
Dont shit where you eat :D

[MartinGFoster]

there's a lot of dating and on-going relationships at the company's I've worked at. Lots of married couples. Generally the companies are so large that there are not in the same type of job and physical area. I haven't seen it discouraged. My current company even says explicitly that it's OK in the employee manual.

I believe in VFX you have to be open-minded about it. You are going to work a lot of hours and normal social type activities outside work my be limited. Besides, there's a lot of idle time between test renders, especially at night.

Apparently, ESC studios was notorious in its day for parking lot tristes. So I've heard.

[Segvoia]

Classic Catch-22 question – a person can spend a good 60% – 75% of their life at work avoiding intimate relationships can be quite a challenge for the less disciplined.

Nightmare scenario: You break up with your office lover, now the predictability of your work environment (and your paycheck) is jeopardized. I’ve seen this happen more than once, and after having witnessed the ensuing ugliness, I see why a company would frown on such affairs. At the end of the day, the company is in the business of making money, not fostering budding romances or stormy break ups that both can effect productivity. Plus, spurned lovers can be quite vicious, sexual harassment claims can suddenly materialize where "love" and playful petting once existed.

[chrisWhite]

I believe in VFX you have to be open-minded about it. You are going to work a lot of hours and normal social type activities outside work my be limited.

I think that's a really interesting point, for a lot of CG artists we often don't have any extra time to build relationships outside of work.

[M.E.L.]

Wow, yeah this is a real big NO in my book. I've thought about dating people I've worked with before but it just ends up in huge quarrels.

I just find that too many people forget to leave the relationship shoes at the door when they walk into work. It's cool that you're dating and yay for you, but if you're bringing personal matters into work then it affects EVERYONE.

I'm gonna second what Mr Rhone put out above as well, teachers dating students just has LAWSUIT written all over it if things go south.

-s

[SheepFactory]

There are enough single girls outside of work. No need to date someone in the industry and complicate matters if you break up imo.

[psyop63b]

IMO, work is a great place to be if you get along with your coworkers. Dating them, on the other hand, can make things at work more complicated. There are a lot of "what-if's" to consider, and I personally would not want to work directly with someone I am romantically involved with. Being in different departments would be ideal.

Oh well. I don't really have to worry about it at my job, since I believe there is only one single girl here, as the front receptionist. It's pretty much a sausage-fest in the back of the house :sad:

[Cyborgguineapig]

Relationships make you 25% less productive. Imagine being able to work 14 hours straight without interuption. No more unnecessary phone calls, no need for taking time off on holidays(who needs those anyways), no need to take little jhonny to the park, no need for anything besides work, you would be the Uber company Masta~ and your productivity level would soar high above the charts!. You can be labelled the work slave with all those setbacks, or you can be labeled the ultra over achiever. -

Regards, the bitter company virgin

[M.E.L.]

no need to take little jhonny to the park

just put little johnny in his shirt:

http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/pictures/alldaddywanted.jpg


-s

[RobertoOrtiz]

just put little johnny in his shirt:

http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/pictures/alldaddywanted.jpg


-s

That is funny as hell, but lets keep it on topic.

-R

[ntmonkey]

You're working in 3D because you love 3D. If you wanna meet chicks, go work at a bar, or a club. Plenty of opportunities there. Throw a party and invite some people outside of work. Tell them to bring friends. That's always a good way to go. Or, do like me and have a coworker hook you up with his line-up of hottie cousins. :D

Like Sheep said, plenty of opportunity outside of work.

peace,

Lu

[mummey]

I've dated in and out of the industry. The one' in tended to be more understanding of the hours I put in at times. What I've found it really comes down to is discipline. Keep the drama outa the workplace and you'll be fine.

Of course Shawn would never date someone in the workplace, the only girls he gets are psychos. ;)

[Alice]

Thinking about what makes it a sexual harrasement. I have no idea cause I have never been sexually harrased. But I guess its not a sexual thing, but a matter of showing whos got the power and beeing degrading.
Guess its wrong as soon as someone thinks its an uncomfortable situation.

[JeroenDStout]

Guess its wrong as soon as someone thinks its an uncomfortable situation.
But on the other hand, that leads to a system in which the 'victim' has all the calling cards or is just a big sissy and thinks everything is harassment.

[Alice]

But on the other hand, that leads to a system in which the 'victim' has all the calling cards or is just a big sissy and thinks everything is harassment.

aww well, its a tricky one with no clear answers.

[Kanga]

....
Like Sheep said, plenty of opportunity outside of work.
peace,Lu

Not if you are as ugly as I am,....
Then you need sports cars!

[Alice]

Not if you are as ugly as I am,....
Then you need sports cars!

lol
I was thinking about going on that whole trip and the whole "its not enough sexual harrasements darnit" but I was afraid I would be missunderstood :)

[Bonedaddy]

Yeah, I have to say I've never sexually harassed by a female co-worker. Plenty of men though. In and out of work. On a pretty constant basis.

...oh god. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.

[M.E.L.]

Yeah, I have to say I've never sexually harassed by a female co-worker. Plenty of men though. In and out of work. On a pretty constant basis.

...oh god. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.

someone get this poor chap a FHM or Maxim magazine fast!

Of course everyone's gonna scream about sexual harassment as a male from another male, but c'mon... how many guys here are gonna leap outta their seat and scream "SEXUAL HARASSMENT!" the next time that cute female receptionist pinches your ass :rolleyes:


-s

[ntmonkey]

someone get this poor chap a FHM or Maxim magazine fast!

Of course everyone's gonna scream about sexual harassment as a male from another male, but c'mon... how many guys here are gonna leap outta their seat and scream "SEXUAL HARASSMENT!" the next time that cute female receptionist pinches your ass :rolleyes:


-s

Which brings up what my wise brother always say...

"The best way to avoid being accused of sexual harrasment... Don't be ugly." :D

peace,

Lu

[jmBoekestein]

I've never seen harassment outside of a bar or dancing actually. But I did 'pick up' this nifty one liner from a bar as well:

'her-ass-meant' yes, but her mind... no. :rolleyes:

Do I hide now? or when it actually hits the spinning contraption?

edit: hey I do have something useful to say!!! :eek: It's meant well eh? As in if a sado masochist fancied you he should just walk up hit you in the face with a keyboard and then ask you out?

[Lunatique]

I have been romantically involved with someone at a past game job, and it didn't get serious, so we never had to deal with fights or breaking up. There have been plenty of co-workers from various past jobs that got together because they were co-workers, and some even got married. Not a big deal at all.

It's a problem if the couple starts fighting or breakup--and most relationships WILL end, and most marriages do have fights. I personally witnessed a love triangle at a previous game company I worked at, and the guy that got betrayed by the girl almost quite because he couldn't stand to be in the same building as her. Office politics are already bad enough without the added complexities of sex and romance.

The sexual harrassment thing is a different story. I think the people who get accused of it are just bad at judging the body languages and reactions of other people. They don't know where to draw the line, and they don't know how to handle romance right in the first place. All the people I know who are good at socializing and interacting with the opposite sex (or same sex they're attracted to) have never been accused of harrassment. It's usually the scummy or shady type personalities that get into trouble, or the clumsy nerdy/geeky guy who just don't understand that "no means no." Some guys think persistence is a virtue. Not if it gets you fired for stalking a co-worker. :D

Some people might use harrassment as revenge to get back at someone (or to hurt someone), and the only way to avoid that is if you made sure other co-workers know of your romantic involvements in the office (so they can prove that the other party is willing, not a victim). If you're trying to get involved with someone who absolutely does not want anyone else in the office to know about your relationship, then that's a bad sign to begin with.

[bentllama]

Actually our company is pretty serious about it. If you have a spouse that also works here, then one of you have to quit. If you marry someone at my work, then one of you have to quit. If you marry someone that wants to work here, then YOU have to quit if you want them to get hired.

that is bullshit profiling right there and is probable grounds for a discrimination suit.

[Alice]

Another interesting question is what if the harassment is falsified like in my bosses case? Someone wanted a raise and he didn't give her one. All of a sudden rumors are flying that so and so said this and that, and corporate gets involved....

The whole harassement issue is rather harsh at the unis in sweden. Have a friend who can't talk to a female student alone, always keeps the door open or tries to have more people there, in fear of beeing accused of something.
(edit: lol, and to clarify, no he wouldnt harass a woman in any manner, hes a nice guy)

[M.E.L.]

Which brings up what my wise brother always say...

"The best way to avoid being accused of sexual harrasment... Don't be ugly." :D

peace,

Lu

or you could just be a TD like us and never see the light of day right? :)

-s

[CyborgChicken]

I think everyone who goes to work needs to be given a "social integration" class on how, and how not to act towards people, good and bad touching, and when and when not to be offended. I've found lots of guys will no points in charisma will be horribly vulgar to quiet girls who are to timid to do anything about it, and I’ve found lots of girls who think that a male asking them if they want to go get something on lunch break is sexual harassment. People need some “classes” and a psychological exam before even being hired imo.

If everyone knows some basic manners it's quite easy to develop great relationships with your opposite sex co-workers, romantic or otherwise.

[MikeRhone]

...snip

It's usually the scummy or shady type personalities that get into trouble, or the clumsy nerdy/geeky guy who just don't understand that "no means no." Some guys think persistence is a virtue. Not if it gets you fired for stalking a co-worker. :D


So true. Its always the creepy dudes that ruin it for the rest of us. If some girl has been gawked at by 3 creepy, snaggle toothed, anti-socialites for a week, the last thing she will want is playful banter from the sweet lovable TD's.

Creepy guys: Back off.

[M.E.L.]

So true. Its always the creepy dudes that ruin it for the rest of us. If some girl has been gawked at by 3 creepy, snaggle toothed, anti-socialites for a week, the last thing she will want is playful banter from the sweet lovable TD's.

Creepy guys: Back off.

Did I miss something? Sweet and lovable? :surprised Certainly isn't me!

-s

[storyForge]

dating in the workplace : as long as both parties are responsbile and mature enough to realize the consequence of the situation they are getting into, and are ready to deal with a possibl ending at the beginning.

sexual harrassment: ick... come on, u have to be lusty and brainless or just plain lacking of social abilities to get accused of this. be smart and respectful and you wont get into trouble. be dumb, verbearing and overly freindly and u might have issues. :P

[RobertoOrtiz]

Ok another question...


How about management dating employees?

How do you guys feel about that?

-R

[M.E.L.]

Ok another question...


How about management dating employees?

How do you guys feel about that?

-R

I can hear the lawsuit already.

-s

[Bonedaddy]

Closest I've ever seen to management dating employees was one of the producers, who was married to one of the compositors. On a lot of the shows she was on, she would get him work. Seen a couple instances of management hitting on employees, usually as a joke (I think), but never really going out with them.

I don't think it'd be cool if it colored their opinions. Otherwise, whatever, let em do as they will.

Doesn't Jackdeth's wife work at Hydraulx? Am I talking out of my ass? Be curious as to his opinion.

[enygma]

I can see that causing conflict in the workplace. If the employee dating someone in management dates the employee, and somehow, the employee gets promoted to a higher position in the workplace, doesn't matter if it is legit or not, that may just be plain grounds for dissent among some of the employees.

EDIT: As a note, yes, I am painting all situations with the same brush in this case, but it isn't intentionally to say that all workplaces would have situations like these.

[Kanga]

Yes please the bosses daughter,...
If you think I am kidding you are wrong!

Youre dying to tell us something Robert,.... did your boss make you sit on her knee and take dictation?:curious::scream:

[RobertoOrtiz]

Guys, the stuff I have seen is not even funny.


I do know of a lot of at least three cases of people who have used relationships (IE SEX) to advance their careers (In all the cases the people were secretaries who ended up in management/ or in the case if a HUGE ad agency, account management).



-R

[enygma]

Lucky management... oh... I mean... um.... I love my wife... :D

[Simon]

I once dated an editors daughter, and he started offering me work, a job, etc. I realised how bad an idea taking up such an offer was so declined.

I've seen people get promotions through sleeping their way up in a place I worked at. I can't tell you how upsetting it is for the rest of the workers.

Simon

[Kanga]

....I do know of a lot of at least three cases of people who have used relationships (IE SEX) to advance their careers....

I've seen this too,... the thing that pisses me off is I aint pretty enough to use the same ol' magic!

I can imagine it upsets co-workers but heck, management must have at least some perks. When I was 23 I was co-boss of a consultancy,... ooooh I'd ruther be an artist. The guys upstairs can keep their upstairs.

It's kind of funny when you see the games begin (usually it's a guy getting played) I always think,.... man you don't get out much do you!

"titer titter,....oh Mr.Black,....dooo behave,... blinkety blinkety,.. ahhoooo, make a great animation.

[opreska]

I think everybody reading this thread should watch this video, all the way through. It addresses some key points to sexual harassment in the workplace. You could learn a lot from this....

http://www.alldumb.com/item/18718/

[Simon]

ARGH. I just uploaded video that to my webserver to post it!

Simo

[Kanga]

Ah it's finally starting to sink in,....

They say its a man's world (always said by women). The point being there is always a balance. Ofttimes hard working fellows will be passed over, treated unfairly or just plain left hacking in the dust due to another scheming individuals machinations,... which are sometimes of a sexual nature.

I've been the victim of these sort of things a couple of times. What does one do? It's a pretty dangerous area because if you air your grievances you will probably come off sounding petty.

In this situation I think the only thing to do is ask yourself is that position or promotion worth more to you than the place where you work. Without any emotion or ego be honest with yourself. If you really feel you should be further along then look for another position in another company where they have a vacancy for someone at the level where you tink you should be. When you have an offer let your company know and let them make a counter offer,.. or be prepared to move.

The absolute worst thing is to be pissed about the situation.

Cheers Chris

[Leionaaad]

dating co-workers: why the hell not? It is just another place, just like anyplace else. The management should be concerned about productivity, not the employees private life. And if somebody has personal problems, he/she will be cracked for a while, regardless if the person keeps working nearby or not.

dating managers/ workers, student-teachers: Again- if it is, so why fight it? as long as the target is not promotion, better grades, scholarship or whatever

Sexual harrassment: we have quite a few women in our studio, but we make spicy comments only on one of them. Every single day. Her husband came to the studio to pick her up quite a few times, but never beat up any of us. I the end none of us thinks it is wrong...we are just childish and malicious.

[M.E.L.]

I've found the solution to all of our workspace dilemma's, including sexual harassment:

http://thatvideosite.com/view/112.html


-s

[baby]

I have this guy at work at AOKI (he's name is m@ )
everyday when I arrive he touch my @rse
he does weird and not fun jokes on the way I dress (not my fault if I like to dress sexy it's my right)
and he always ask me to check his computer under his desk

well he acts really strange with me... what shall I do ?

[JeroenDStout]

I've found the solution to all of our workspace dilemma's, including sexual harassment:

http://thatvideosite.com/view/112.html


-s

Best thing I've seen all week :)

[Gangstashers]

Well, i at some places i worked i had girls who i talked to and next mostly start to like me and stuff, and end up bieng in my room. lol.

no kidding im sirious. and the funny thing is, its most of the time always for 1 or 2 days, and after that we pretend nothing ever happend. (exept on a day when i selpt with somone GF:surprised )

In school i had this morokian girl, who always had low grades evrywhere exept at math, and you could clearly see that alwys in class she was always sitting next to the teacher, or talk alot to him and stuff, and some times hit on him? anywayz, there was this whole drama going on when the boyfriend of that girl knew that the teacher and the girl both had a ''Sexual'' relationship during school time. (for better grades duh!).

That was the most wierd thing ever!

I also had a ex girlfriend who slepth with her boss, and the boss was a young dude like 22 years old. so that figures.

i'll digg up more stories after asking few friends.

anywayz im still young 17 years old, and i had alot of expierence in the so called ''Love'' section.

anywayz Robert why asking this question :p got some expierence you whant to share? :eek:


Sheherryar

[M.E.L.]

Well, i at some places i worked i had girls who i talked to and next mostly start to like me and stuff, and end up bieng in my room. lol.

no kidding im sirious. and the funny thing is, its most of the time always for 1 or 2 days, and after that we pretend nothing ever happend. (exept on a day when i selpt with somone GF:surprised )

In school i had this morokian girl, who always had low grades evrywhere exept at math, and you could clearly see that alwys in class she was always sitting next to the teacher, or talk alot to him and stuff, and some times hit on him? anywayz, there was this whole drama going on when the boyfriend of that girl knew that the teacher and the girl both had a ''Sexual'' relationship during school time. (for better grades duh!).

That was the most wierd thing ever!

I also had a ex girlfriend who slepth with her boss, and the boss was a young dude like 22 years old. so that figures.

i'll digg up more stories after asking few friends.

anywayz im still young 17 years old, and i had alot of expierence in the so called ''Love'' section.

anywayz Robert why asking this question :p got some expierence you whant to share? :eek:


Sheherryar

http://www.ambrosiasw.com/%7Eandrew/funny/bullshit.jpg

Not tryin to derail the thread, just thought I'd fill the ignsificant void left by the gangstashers post and say it how it is.:shrug:

-s

[Alice]

Well, you never do know, his from amsterdam. Chances are, he was just high ;)

[JeroenDStout]

My school was so dull.

No, wait, it was just me, we did have some sexually 'active' people in class.

Oh, wait, I'm bored with that subject already!

*continues his coding*

[Gangstashers]

Lol wat was funny.

well i was just telling my expierence and toughts about some stuff. And if you think it's bullshit or anyone else so be it. I can't force you guys. It's just matter of how you read understand it.


And erhmm.. i do not live in amsterdam for like 3 months now i live in London lol. So chances for me bieng high and all is extreamly low.


Sheherryar

[M.E.L.]

It's just matter of how you read understand it.
Sheherryar

I seem to have misplaced my 17 year old Internet Typing Dictionary...


-s

[Alice]

And erhmm.. i do not live in amsterdam for like 3 months now i live in London lol. So chances for me bieng high and all is extreamly low.


Just trying to light things up a bit ;)
Generaly, most dutch people I know are pretty easy going. Its a nice trade...

[Enayla]

I work at a university, one day every week. Because I work in a computer environment, I meet a lot of guys who are into computers. We're not talking about my co-workers here, who are all very sweet and respectful – we're talking about the university students who use our lab.

There was one particular individual who kept asking me for a date almost every week, and when he finally gave up – he started to steal the posters I'd made, and made comments in my guest book, on my site. The matter was eventually taken care of but made for some very disturbing months. What makes all of this very, very uncomfortable is that one is expected to be polite, friendly and nice on one's work place. It's not a neutral situation. Regardless of whether we're talking about students or co-workers, you can't respond the way you might wish to. There have been days I've barely wanted to go to work because of the people I would encounter there. Yet another reason to why I freelance from home most of the time.

Guys, if there are girls at your work place, don't hit on them and don't ask them out. If something is going to happen between the two of you, just wait until you're elsewhere - if you run into her at a pub, a bar, anywhere but at work. What seems like innocent fun for the one who's doing the flirting can be very, very uncomfortable and awkward for the other party. It's difficult enough as it is to be a girl in a male dominated industry, without having anyone drooling down the front of your dress.

(sorry about the long post... but having had bad experiences in this area, I thought I'd just share)

[Gangstashers]

I seem to have misplaced my 17 year old Internet Typing Dictionary...


-s

There was no internet 17 years ago.


Sheherryar

[JeroenDStout]

There was no internet 17 years ago.


Sheherryar
As they say these days: "pwnd!"

Yes, wel, they actually do say that these days. Seriously.

[M.E.L.]

There was no internet 17 years ago.


Sheherryar

Internet's been around since ages back, ARPA was the very first initiation of the internet which was based on military communications between the Soviet and the US (roughly mid to late 1960's). The TCP protocol was then written in 1974 which became the backbone of "The Internet" at many universities following through into the 1980's. Then, in the 90's the World Wide Web was born.

I believe the word you are looking for is "owned" :buttrock:


-s

[GavinG]

PWNED!

*the only time I'll ever consider it neccessary and 'okay' to use that term.*

[eek]

Internet's been around since ages back, ARPA was the very first initiation of the internet which was based on military communications between the Soviet and the US (roughly mid to late 1960's). The TCP protocol was then written in 1974 which became the backbone of "The Internet" at many universities following through into the 1980's. Then, in the 90's the World Wide Web was born.

I believe the word you are looking for is "owned" :buttrock:
-s

Ah MEL bless.

http://www.davesite.com/webstation/net-history.shtml

I believe the word your looking for is GOOGLED! LMAO!


eek

[M.E.L.]

Ah MEL bless.

http://www.davesite.com/webstation/net-history.shtml

I believe the word your looking for is GOOGLED! LMAO!


eek

haha Charles, I thought about using "GOOGLED B!+©#!" but opted for the grammatically correct "owned" ;)

-s

p.s. how are you liking Edmonton?

[chrisWhite]

...and there goes the thread.

For sexual harassment and sensitivity training I really think people need to use some common sense—which is probably why we need so much training. If you're interested in a girl in the industry then build a friendship and then see if there's a mutual interest in taking it farther. If it's at work then your looking long term so unless you want a one night stand you don't need to hit on her. If you are looking for a one night stand then you're definitely looking in the wrong place. I've never seen people get into trouble in this area when the show respect and begins with a friendship. If it's a friendship you aren't going to pull anything, if she says no then you have the respect for her to back off.

I'm fairly cautious of these types of relationships because they usually develop around very high stress situations and as I've observed so far they don't turn out too well. Work gets in the way and if you aren't bringing the relationship to work your bring work into the relationship. Seems like you're setting yourself up for failure.

Then again I have a fairly odd outlook on dating in the first place, so that's just my two cents.

[GavinG]

Actually to give non-OWNAGE input,

Why would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with someone who is in your industry, I would expect that person to be the one balance in my life that isn't based around a poly mesh. I mean sure, nerdily speaking it's great to have a chick that giggles with you crack a joke about extruding your poly in the Z axis....but really, wouldn't it just be better to have someone that can have something to bring to the relationship from the "outside world"?

Gav

[Bonedaddy]

I think the best is a mix. I dated a girl who didn't know anything about CG, and it was difficult to talk to her about anything I was excited about. She had no interest. On the other end was the girl that only talked about work. Any attraction wore off quickly there. The best mix I've found was in my ex, who is into video game concept art, and knows her way around polygons and UVs, but not too in-depth. She had her thing and I had mine, and it worked out well. We could both blather and sympathize without getting on each others' turf.

But yeah. I sympathize, Enayla. I have heard all too many horror stories like that.

[animalunae]

For me, I think the way to handle dating and such at work is the same as it is in daily social life... If you meet someone you like at work, just don't start hitting on her/him... I've had this problem with a girl who was constantly sitting at my desk talking, while a colleague and very good friend really had a crush on her, as a result he ignored me completely for like 3 weeks, although I didnt want anything from that girl. This was not only a problem for our friendship at the time, but the production suffered greatly. If a TD and a TD assistant don't communicate, you tend to end up with a lot of unsolved problems...

Just keep a socially superficial relationship with the people you like at work, or anywhere else, no one likes the clinging of someone you can't stand, so to offset the chance to lose anyone special to you because you choke her, just be nice to her, talk once in a while and if it should look like she's showing interest, only then ask her out... which is about the same way I would handle it outside of work, that in the case of being socially normal... and no social freak like I am :)

Anyway... I think dating someone from work is possible, if it's build up nicely, without casualties and if it ends without too much problems (if that should be the case)... so... guess it's rather impossible now isnt it? :) Still, I'd hate to have this broken up relationship with someone at work, so I just don't start with anyone from work... mixed feelings about this one... but it's simply dependant from situation to situation really... Besides... I don't want to talk about animation all day when I get home from work... I hardly ever turn on my computer when at home, so why turn on the girlfriend :)

[Gangstashers]

Internet's been around since ages back, ARPA was the very first initiation of the internet which was based on military communications between the Soviet and the US (roughly mid to late 1960's). The TCP protocol was then written in 1974 which became the backbone of "The Internet" at many universities following through into the 1980's. Then, in the 90's the World Wide Web was born.

I believe the word you are looking for is "owned" :buttrock:


-s


Owh sorry well if i'm not mistaking the public internet came at 1990's. Well if your book is 17 years old that must mean that you're older then 17 years correct? So i geuss your like 30 or 25 or something? But still you lower yourself to argue with a 17 year old, wich lowers your respect infront of alot of ppl.

That must mean that you where

A. A spoiled brath.

B. Somone who can't argue with ppl from your age.

C. Your social life is totaly f*** up.

D. You have a Down Syndrome.




And sorry to say so but the word OWNED is i think stil in your 17 YEAR OLD dictionary.

Becuz pwned came when a map designer of warcraft misspelled ''owned''.

retard1: pwned originated with quake

retard2 no it started with warcraft

nonretard: Its a ****ing typo, like 'teh'or 'pron'. I you were older than 11 you'd know typos happened even before 1337 made tham 'cool'.

otherguy:you faggots just got pwned!

Anywayz the ''P'' is next to the ''O'' so it could be a common typing mistake.


So the word you are looking for is ''PWNED!'' :buttrock:



More information on http://pwned.nl/



Sheherryar

[Gangstashers]

I'm stoping with this stupid converstation of who is going to have the last word.

I don't whant to go Off Topic, so evryone just carry on the subject.


M.E.L. i will not reply to any of your childish post reffering to me.

So goes for evryone else.


Sheherryar

[RobertoOrtiz]

PEOPLE GET BACK ON TOPIC AND STOP THE PERSONAL ATTACKS.


This is MY ONLY warning.

-R

[eek]

Thx Roberto,

Anyway to get back to the thread, i havent meet anyone of the opposite sex in my industry who's intrested in gimbal lock, and f-curve and whatnot. Wish i did.

But as Bonedaddy pointed out, i think going out with some at the same place you work would be crazy. Youd eventually wanna kill each other.

eek

P.s People respect the forums! My googled jibe was intended to soften MELs attack not start another one. Its christmas chill people!

[helicopterr]

Hmm relationships, I wonder if I would even have time for flirting in the office once I start working, making my own animation shorts and trying to learn new softwares.

[RobertoOrtiz]

Thanks to all for your tales.
-R

[RobertoOrtiz]

What the hell...

BOINK!

-R

[mummey]

Suddenly need advice Roberto!?! ;)

[JTD]

It's never a good idea to carry on a relationship at work because it could lead to marriage.:scream:

[Bonedaddy]

Roberto:

My advice is to impress her with your encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek, X-Men, and Battlestar Galactica. Chicks dig that stuff.

[RobertoOrtiz]

Dont forget my BIll Gates Tattoo..


Suddenly need advice Roberto!?! ;)
At my age Ill take all that I can get...

-R

[AjaBogdanoff]

What makes all of this very, very uncomfortable is that one is expected to be polite, friendly and nice on one's work place. It's not a neutral situation. Regardless of whether we're talking about students or co-workers, you can't respond the way you might wish to.
...
Guys, if there are girls at your work place, don't hit on them and don't ask them out. If something is going to happen between the two of you, just wait until you're elsewhere - if you run into her at a pub, a bar, anywhere but at work. What seems like innocent fun for the one who's doing the flirting can be very, very uncomfortable and awkward for the other party. It's difficult enough as it is to be a girl in a male dominated industry, without having anyone drooling down the front of your dress.

Quoted for agreement. :)

[Agent Vesago]

I make it a policy to never date anyone I work with.

[mdee]

a) you might both get fired at the same time if you are at the same company, if you are a couple living together it's bad thing, suddenly you both lost income

b) if some of you is in higher position, the other one will be accused of taking advantage of it, even if it's not true

c) you share the same kind and amount of stress at the same time if you happen to work at close (or even the same, which is usually the case) department. This is really bad thing.

I am talking about a bit more serious relationship of course.

As for harassment thing going - I'd rather leave women working in our industry alone, at some places they are stressed enough just by the fact they are surrounded by 1000s of guys and judged by pure looks not by the skills. Just treat them like other colleagues (don't curse) and if something clicks, do it after work.

[MikeRhone]

Dont forget my BIll Gates Tattoo..



At my age Ill take all that I can get...

-R


Interesting re-hash Roberto. My best advice is a cold shower and a few hours in front of your favorite video game. The opposite sex must be avoided at ALL costs; Co-worker or not.

[JDex]

I had a boss once get fired for this... I think the firing line was "Never butter your bread from the company's butter... get your things." I learned two lessons... it's a bad idea and if your boss does it, it's a good way to get promoted. :applause:

[UrbanFuturistic]

At my age Ill take all that I can get...

-RNever sleep with anyone crazier than yourself :p

[mummey]

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself :p

The human species would die off pretty fast if that were enforced.

[Brötje]

The real NO-NO is for teachers who date students. I have seen that happen before, and it is very much a NO NO. So I repeat, for sanity, personal, proffestional, and possibly LEGAL reasons, dont date your students.



Lost my girlfriend to a college professor ( he was 30 years old, married, one kid and his wife was pregnant with a second one ). Always told her he was out to get some action. She didn't believe me. She dumped me in the most horrible way. He gave her some bad advice too. Last thing I've heard was that she has quit college. That's two lives turned upside down just because that b*stard wanted some.

So I agree with MikeRhone.

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