Noir - A short

[Archibald]

okay, heres the same in wmv, higher resolution

*link removed*

[ohknats]

Archie, A couple of coments: unless the opening sequence is forshadowing any elements to the upcoming plot (for example the titles and/or illustrations on the books or of the fly flying around) I'd say it's too long. I'm also not getting why the character is freaking out so bad, why is he trashing his office and eventually plummeting to his apparent death while trying to kill the fly. The camera shots need to be tightened up, I'd stay awat from that over the shadow shot and any point of view shots, be it man or insect. I do think that your idea will be an excellent opportunity to do some good character animation and cool lighting/rendering, camera and staging and am looking forward to that. Also, can I suggest not having the fly reappear at the end for the cliched shot of irony that summarizes the entire story. Just my two cents.

[Archibald]

Archie, A couple of coments: unless the opening sequence is forshadowing any elements to the upcoming plot (for example the titles and/or illustrations on the books or of the fly flying around) I'd say it's too long. I'm also not getting why the character is freaking out so bad, why is he trashing his office and eventually plummeting to his apparent death while trying to kill the fly. The camera shots need to be tightened up, I'd stay awat from that over the shadow shot and any point of view shots, be it man or insect. I do think that your idea will be an excellent opportunity to do some good character animation and cool lighting/rendering, camera and staging and am looking forward to that. Also, can I suggest not having the fly reappear at the end for the cliched shot of irony that summarizes the entire story. Just my two cents.

hey!
thank you very much for your reply!
to the books... so in the final version the bookpan will first of all have our the blended in over the books, and second of all, with the music, set the scene. do you still think its no good??
him freaking out so bad is kind of the whole joke...dont you think it comes across well?? its supposed to be kind of ridiculous, and hes supposed to get himself worked up into a frenzy...I kind of thought the score did so?
thankyou for the camera input...I've changed the over the "shadow shot" already, but many people thought the fly-shot was funny, so I think I'll leave it like that for the time being...
the animation isnt yet quite finished in the uploaded version, ill upload a newer version soon!

thanks again, n.

[fromblownspeakers]

Archibald,

When I first saw this film I thought it screamed to be black and white, especially through the slow intro. Maybe, it could start off as black and white, to reference the film noir movies of the past... but then when the guy reaches to smack the fly and the music kicks in have it flip to colour. I enjoy the contrast with the intro and the comical actions that follow.

The point of view of the fly is a little weird to follow, at least at first. First it feels like it just switches to some tripped out view. Maybe the camera should be faster and more hectic to make it feel more like a fly. As well, if it truly was the point of view of the fly... we would see the screen all broken up into octagons (or whatever shape a fly's eye it all made up of). You could frame the shot into an octagon, and make it small, and duplicate it over and over to fit the screen... although, it might not be worth the time.

Having the point of view or over the shoulder shots for the man is fine because we can sympathize and relate to his character more. And most people can relate to a time when they have chased a fly all over the house trying to kill it.
If the fly's point of view shot, was all broken up like a fly's vision, the viewer definately wouldn't relate to the fly because it is something they would not be used to... and that would push the idea of the fly being the villian because it would still keep us distanced. I do wish that the guy was provoked more... maybe have the fly land on his nose while he is sitting there relaxing... then have him swat it away, and have the fly come right back on his nose, etc... make us feel that he is annoyed and MUST kill this thing.

It would be interesting to see it with textures. Do you plan to texture it, or have you already?
If you are only 17 or 18, this is good stuff. Keep it up. I wish I had started 3D stuff that early on. :)

[Archibald]

Hey speakers,

yeah, ive toyed with the idea of blacknwhite too, but Ill add that in the "post production" (if with my limited skills you can call it that) stage... this post production stage can begin at earliest when I get the final music, so Ill possibly do the blacknwhite then.

btw: as we speak, theres another boy writing the score to my animation as HIS school project, so sometime in january i shall have a full tailormade score!

yes, i havent rendered it out yet, so the textures hardly come over in 3dsm's preview mode.

Im VERY glad you liked the contrast between noir&action, as thats the main theme of my school project/movie: the contrast in the middle of the movie, shattering the noir style&feel, when it leaps into bebop jazz.

I've slightly changed the camera for more of an over the shoulder view, less shadow...it seems much better now!

the flyview seems rather controversial, but I'm not going to change that, as my teacher explicitly said that she liked that (:D), and even faster would make your eyes water when its rendered...but I see what your saying...I'll do it differently next time :D

I've now added a fly to the intromovie in reaction to what ohknats said, thank you very much oaknats, that was a very good comment/suggestion!!! now (as I see it) the intro actually has a point beyond getting you into the noir mood &showing you the credits (namely showing you the fly), and is foreshadowing too (showing the fly buzzing round the bookcases annoyingly). this also gets you more accustomed to the fly, and speakers, i dont really care if the fly is more beloved by the audience, or even sweet, as that would give it the whole thing a kind of tom&jerry feel, which in essence the story is....

I am 17, thank you for your kind comment!

thankyou oaknats&speakers for your feedback, youve helped me a HUGE amount already!
cheers, n.

[Archibald]

okay, ive uploaded a newer version to video.google, now in its proper widescreen format

only the first and the rendered scene have changed slightly since.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2198229960263344921&q=noir+preview

[Archibald]

heres the first scene, rendered...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2060728918598751289&q=%22Noir+Rendered+scene+one%22+playable%3Atrue

[Archibald]

hey everyone!!

heres the finished version with my music...custom score us in the works!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8295121855355143665&q=%22Noir+-+A+Short%22+playable%3Atrue

cheers, n.

[Archibald]

okay, the movie is now final. black n' white effect is implemented: the noir beginning is black and white, when the atmosphere gets shattered, its colour!

also the final music is now in!

see links at the top

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