Heshmat
08-29-2005, 01:06 PM
Started writing the first few scene of a short I would like to make. basically about a guy who doesnt have much of a life. This is my first attempt so i guess it probably leaves a lot to be desired format wise. What do you think?
-----------------------------------------------
Unspecified modern times.
Small, studio apartment, designed by the thousands.
drank, low maintenance, impersonal, modern.
Morning.
Camera stares at the light fixture on the roof. Slowly pans down past the shower
to the modern sink and cabinet. A person walks past the camera, camera does not
move. He takes a shower. Steam fills the bathroom. He has a shave and gets ready
for work, collects his leather case and heads off.
This is a routine has been completed a thousand times before.
The camera pans across his room as the day progresses, comes to rest on his bed
side table; 7pm.
He comes in through the door; his tie is ajar, he looks rundown. walks across to
the bed and lies down, goes to sleep.
Later on the eve, Phone rings;
Main Char - Hello, hey how are you. (pause) What club... (pause)Ahh, man I'm so
tired and I dont fit in there ... (Longer Pause) Yeah, yeah OK, I’ll come down
for a while. I'll see you there.
We start to hear club music slowly coming in. He gets up puts on his jacket while
going out the door. Music gets louder and louder as the screen fades to black.
Morning.
Everything is saturated with light.
We see him in bed, stubble, and blood shot eyes and looks worse for wear.
He gets up; same routine again, walks out the door.
He comes home late, again.
Opens his cupboard looking for food, sees a bottle of unopened alcohol, and
thinks why not.
Sits down on the couch, pours himself a drink. Turns on the TV, just to have some
sound in his apartment. The muffled ramblings of Saturday night game show
fill the background.
Presenter - Are yoiu excited cheryl! i'm exited, lets see if we can win you some happiness
Next day.
Today is his day off.
Afternoon sun fills his apartment, we see it peering through the only portion of the sky which has not been blocked out by this appartment complex. For a momment it's actually nice in there. He takes a momment, sits in the sun.
He closes his eyes and day dreams.
Before we get to comfortable we hear the alarm clock going off.
Morning.
We come to, looking over his shoulder, he is standing in his room looking at the front door dressed ready for work.
He hesitates for a sec... then walks out the door.
-----------------------------------------------
This is the basic story arch, may flesh out certain areas but its quite complete I think.
Cheers Hesh
-----------------------------------------------
Unspecified modern times.
Small, studio apartment, designed by the thousands.
drank, low maintenance, impersonal, modern.
Morning.
Camera stares at the light fixture on the roof. Slowly pans down past the shower
to the modern sink and cabinet. A person walks past the camera, camera does not
move. He takes a shower. Steam fills the bathroom. He has a shave and gets ready
for work, collects his leather case and heads off.
This is a routine has been completed a thousand times before.
The camera pans across his room as the day progresses, comes to rest on his bed
side table; 7pm.
He comes in through the door; his tie is ajar, he looks rundown. walks across to
the bed and lies down, goes to sleep.
Later on the eve, Phone rings;
Main Char - Hello, hey how are you. (pause) What club... (pause)Ahh, man I'm so
tired and I dont fit in there ... (Longer Pause) Yeah, yeah OK, I’ll come down
for a while. I'll see you there.
We start to hear club music slowly coming in. He gets up puts on his jacket while
going out the door. Music gets louder and louder as the screen fades to black.
Morning.
Everything is saturated with light.
We see him in bed, stubble, and blood shot eyes and looks worse for wear.
He gets up; same routine again, walks out the door.
He comes home late, again.
Opens his cupboard looking for food, sees a bottle of unopened alcohol, and
thinks why not.
Sits down on the couch, pours himself a drink. Turns on the TV, just to have some
sound in his apartment. The muffled ramblings of Saturday night game show
fill the background.
Presenter - Are yoiu excited cheryl! i'm exited, lets see if we can win you some happiness
Next day.
Today is his day off.
Afternoon sun fills his apartment, we see it peering through the only portion of the sky which has not been blocked out by this appartment complex. For a momment it's actually nice in there. He takes a momment, sits in the sun.
He closes his eyes and day dreams.
Before we get to comfortable we hear the alarm clock going off.
Morning.
We come to, looking over his shoulder, he is standing in his room looking at the front door dressed ready for work.
He hesitates for a sec... then walks out the door.
-----------------------------------------------
This is the basic story arch, may flesh out certain areas but its quite complete I think.
Cheers Hesh