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View Full Version : Sheridan student prj - be tough!


bonsai_kittenz
08-19-2005, 07:34 PM
Hey all,

This is a student project, completed about a week ago at Sheridan outside of Toronto, Canada.

I'm looking for honesty, and complete, brutal criticism. I can only learn from my mistakes...now please point them out! ;)

The file is approx 20megs, located here:

http://kent.playairways.com

Tchao!

kent


note - the only excuse i'll make for anything, is that there *was* a voice over of an old french man recollecting a story from his youth, that added minor duality to the piece. I had to pull it last moment though. Enjoy! (or not).

Vahn
08-20-2005, 12:23 AM
this is pretty cool .. i liked the strange-quick-zoom camera movement and the strange & sad atmosphere. The picture coming to life was very well done imho...and the idea with the heartbeat in the glass reflection is very very cool. :thumbsup:

nicely done... no crits here :)

yellowman
08-20-2005, 09:17 AM
Hi bonsai_kittenz,

I think you do a great job in camera and editing side:thumbsup: , the animation is cool as well! I will apply Bachelor in Apply Art (Animation) next year, how's the situation there? Is there still remain high quality of training in animation? What do you feel in your school time? Thanks for sharing!

cheers
cw

KevinKraeer
08-20-2005, 06:16 PM
Really great stuff. Love the style...make more!

blz
08-20-2005, 06:35 PM
very good.great atmosphere,the whole heart/glass thing - very nice :)

oh and grweat camera movement

bonsai_kittenz
08-23-2005, 09:58 PM
thnx for the comments folks :) much appreciated!

no one with suggestions though? :hmm:

webhead
08-24-2005, 02:02 AM
Nice looking short with some interesting camera movements that seemed to fit in well with the film, particularly with the main character. I have my own interpertation/impression of what I got from the film, or thought it was about, however, with abstract films it is difficult to be sure of the creators intent. Would you mind telling me what you wanted the viewer to take away from this film? I am very curious. :hmm:

Hyphen
08-24-2005, 11:20 AM
really nice editing going on, but i was really distracted by the hands. the hands are very stiff all throughout the piece. the resting hands all have fingers that are evenly spaced and perfectly straight. i think stronger hand gestures and overlap within the fingers would help a lot. for good hand and finger poses i like to look at chuck jones' shorts.

also, in the beginning when the old man is deciding on a drink, it was hard to read his pose when he declined the first glass of wine. although he's an old man with broken pieces, i think you can push his poses and gestures a little more for better readability. like when he's attempting to grab the cup, it doesn't seem like he's trying too hard, other than the shaking in his arm. i'd put more force into hips and make his other hand grip the top of the table...as though he's really trying to grab that cup.

hope that helps. i can't really help with the editing though. anyhow, good job and good luck :)

xZeroSignalx
08-25-2005, 01:09 AM
Wow, very good. It's got a really unique style to it. I particularly like the jerky/mechanical camera movements: very cool. Great job.

HenningK
08-26-2005, 05:09 AM
Very nice mood, sense of place. Nothing bugged me except the hands, mentioned, and the superimpositions of the original guy during the fast middle section. Looks like you just straight dissolved, which looks kind of cheap to me. Maybe figure a better way to composite those reaction shots if you feel you must show them at the same time.
great job though. I love Cassandre.
-hen

mimo8
08-26-2005, 09:53 AM
great work ... enjoyed the modd and atmosphere a lot.
you defenitly suceeded catching the feeling of a melancholic rememberance of the "good old days"

http://www.brain-one.at/mmm/bunny.gif

Abhimation
08-29-2005, 11:38 PM
Your Domain has X-Pired :wise:

Ch3
09-09-2005, 09:14 AM
any luck with the copyrights?

I want to watch it....

Chanchito
09-09-2005, 10:46 AM
Hey Kent! You know Ive got nothing but love for your project. It has some of the best camera work Ive ever seen in a short movie.

congrats and keep me updated!

bonsai_kittenz
10-05-2005, 07:50 PM
Hi folks,

Thanks x100000 for the suggestions so far, they are *very* useful for me.

Found a new domain, and got my copyright issue sorted out, so now it's back online at http://kent.playairways.com

Please continue to tear this apart :)

tchao

KevinCCAD
10-06-2005, 07:28 AM
It's hard to find something to harp on. but I tried. Maybe you could learn more about textures and shading networks so you can give it a more unique style, maybe render it or parts of it to look similar to the poster. One wide shot showing the guy sitting and the phonograph off to the right bothers me a little, could be the cropping of the phonograph where it's cut in half, maybe aim the camera more to the right or make it a wider shot. Also the lighting bothers me a few times, where it's so blown out that you lose details but then you've got really dark areas where the same thing happens. I think I noticed some sharp edges, you could bevel those, only really noticed it on the table tops but I wasn't looking for it. I really like the music and the way it was mixed it makes your peice really strong although I'm not sure it relates to your work, I'd have to listen to the lyrics to see since I was more feeling than listening to it, but maybe that's what you wanted anyways so... hmm.. so is he discovering his left arm? is there some rule that he can't pick up a glass with his left arm? As an artistic piece it's great, if someone's trying to understand it then they might have to do some digging so it will have different meaning to different people, the arms can be symbolic? Hope you've got something from this crit that you were looking for, keep up the good work. The camera movements were nice because it's not something you see too often, and sounds accompanying them kept the viewer grounded, without the sound we might get confused.

mondo-ray
10-06-2005, 01:07 PM
hey dookie! where's my cookie?
love the camera works! good to see yer film online, 'n glad you got the copyright resolved.

wojteknowak
10-07-2005, 02:11 PM
This is very nice animation, I realy like it

Cinimod
10-09-2005, 10:59 AM
Wonderous! The piece is looking great man. Of all the place to bump into you again lol! It's been a while, but I sent you a catch up PM :D

Unfortunitly I really can't comment too much on the animation, I suck at it Immencely.. I love the cinematography and the editing though.

Again, awesome work! Can't wait till your next piece :thumbsup:

bonsai_kittenz
10-13-2005, 02:53 PM
thanks to all for your ideas, already this is totally sending me on a more coherent path.

some people have asked about the meaning of certain things/raison d'etre. I think there is a lot of potential sometimes in leaving *out* an artists statement, which I've done here. Hopefully no one is miffed by this, because interpretation/misinterpretation really is a beautiful thing in itself.

please, everyone continue to pick *anything* apart.

thnx!

:)

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