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View Full Version : Ghoulish Short Film for critique!!


lardbros
08-13-2005, 03:56 PM
Hey guys and gals, I've finally got my website finished and now am able to show some of my work. I did a short film for my dissertation at University a year and a half ago, but was unable to let people see it due to bandwidth problems at my end.

Finally i now have a website so the film can be seen by anyone who wants to look. My website is in my signature or the direct link to the film is http://www.lairdsquared.co.uk/videos/short_film.avi (12mb)

I had around 5 months from conception to completion, along with 10 other modules to complete running concurrently, quite tricky for a first animated short but I tried my best for the time.

I learned a HUGE amount while doing it and had never attempted anything as substantial at the time. My advice to anyone wanting to learn anything to do with animation is to jump in feet first... you'll learn so much.

Anyway, Please feel free to crit or comment on the film or my portfolio as a whole!

Thanks for taking a peek.

Tim

lardbros
08-13-2005, 07:27 PM
Oh yeah, forgot to add an image... here is a still taken from my film, just so you know what you're downloading.

Cheers,
Tim

Kramerica
08-13-2005, 10:50 PM
Haha, I liked it. Had some nice visual quality at times...the grass, the lamp. The fence shot was beautiful. Animation on the walk could've been better, but it got the job done certainly. The only thing missing was more of a punch at the punch line. Maybe if you built up to the "WC" more by putting more emphasis on those letters throughout. Maybe the zombie keeps seeing the letters "WC" throughout and only at the end we make the connection. Or maybe he collects scraps of paper on his journey and at the end we realize what it's for. Agh, here I go trying to change your story. It was good. Good stuff. Just wish there was a little more umf to the punchline...

Also, as a sidenot. Living outside the UK, took me awhile to make the connection that WC stood for Water Closet. Kind of a British-only term...

blz
08-13-2005, 10:55 PM
good job :)
meybe coz im the big fan of nightmare before christmas movie, but i definitely liked this one.
had some minor flaws,but hey, its still very good attempt :)
keep up!

lardbros
08-13-2005, 11:08 PM
Kramerica:
Cool, thanks for the comments, they are a HUGE positive to me. I agree whole-heartedly that the animation is rather shoddy but most of my time was taken up with the grass and making sure the camera angles and shots worked as well as they could. Over a year since i did it and i can see hundreds of things i would change. I kinda feel that a musical soundtrack may do it justice, maybe strengthening the punchline too. Also making a short film where the title is revealed at the end makes it very tricky to show around... who wants to watch a film without a title? It would give away the punchline.

Anyway, i have also been thinking seriously about redoing the whole thing... new zombie model, concentrate on the animation, and throw in the scenes that i had to cut (a forest type scene with the glowing lantern seen from a distance and a hallway with grand father clock and staircase, with the clock striking 12). It would be quite a bit of work but atleast i wouldn't have the niggling "complete, but not happy" feeling.

Again, your thoughts are invaluable!

I thought WC was what americans called it too? Or is it just the bathroom over there? It is kind of supposed to be Victorian in age, Thomas Crapper era, and i guessed that's what they called them back then? :)

blz:
Thanks blz, nice of you to say "minor flaws", but hey, hopefully they don't detract from the action too much? It's pretty obvious to me that it has flaws, but could you list them please? It's interesting to know what people pick up on when it's new to their eyes. The fact that i have probably watched it hundreds of times and cringe now, it'd be good to hear the most blatant flaws that stick out before the other ones.

Cheers for the feedback,
Tim

ENL
08-14-2005, 03:06 AM
Links not working for me....:(

eXiGe_da_1337
08-14-2005, 05:57 AM
I really liked how the ghoul/zombie moved, very zombie-realistic ! :thumbsup:

lardbros
08-14-2005, 11:42 AM
Links not working for me....:(

Uh oh!! I wouldn't know why it wouldn't be working? Maybe there are bandwidth issues with my host company?! Sorry about that, it's annoying... seems to work for most people. Actually... I just tried going to my website and it's not loading either!! Oh great. Even the hosts main web page isn't working right now, so maybe they're having technical issues?

You could try going to it through http://www.lairdsquared.co.uk/videos/short_film.html maybe it'll be work?


I really liked how the ghoul/zombie moved, very zombie-realistic ! :thumbsup:

Thanks eXiGe_da_1337, appreciate the compliments!

EDIT
------------------
It's working fine right now... while i was writing this it all began to work! Quick, download it now! :D

lardbros
08-16-2005, 04:57 PM
Any more comments before the thread gets lost among the billions of other ones with a couple of replies? No?

Well, feel free to comment...

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