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ffourier
07-23-2005, 11:48 AM
Here is our first short. Do not hesitate to give us your comments, impressions...
here are some screenshots.
http://www.fftouch.com/creations/videos/tn/tn_bonobo02.jpg http://www.fftouch.com/creations/videos/tn/tn_bonobo03.jpg http://www.fftouch.com/creations/videos/tn/tn_bonobo04.jpg http://www.fftouch.com/creations/videos/tn/tn_bonobo05.jpg http://www.fftouch.com/creations/videos/tn/tn_bonobo06.jpg

>> high - 45 Mo
(http://fred841.free.fr/fichiers/prod/Bonobo_DivX_High.avi)>> Medium - 34 Mo (http://fred841.free.fr/fichiers/prod/Bonobo_DivX_Med.avi)
>> Low - 9 Mo (http://fred841.free.fr/fichiers/prod/Bonobo_DivX_Low.avi)

Thanks

freakmoomin
07-23-2005, 01:34 PM
overall this is a good piece, decent story, decent animation, decent models, decent lighting, and decently put together......

but maybe thats the only problem i have with it, it doesnt blow me away.....its just 'good'...

my only advice to you is to follow the quality not quantity rule, for your next short i would aim for a simpilar short i think.....

hope im not being too harsh, as it is a GOOD short.

cheers

kev

Cannonball
07-23-2005, 01:58 PM
I have seen it once, and these are my first reactions:

- good effort making this

- enviroment looks very nice, I think it was a lot of work making it, it could use better lightning, there was just no atmosphere...

- modeling is looks ok, but also could use better lightning

- Animation is a little stiff, the movement on the monkey and birds weren't too convincing

- the story and your storytelling take this short way down. Some shots were not well picked (some well chosen shots, but flawed as followups), sometimes it was hard to understand what was going on (the monkey dissappears from important shots, the branch for instance or the point of view, just not clear). Best part, when the monkey sets in the chase after the bird. Well chosen shots and the POV works, but it's not storytelling. Storytelling is not only about placing your camera, it's like reading a book to kids: you can read it flat out (boring), or tell it in a suspence kind of way (more feeling, tension etc.) so the experience is more than just words. That idea should be translated to film or animation. I'm not english, so I'm not so good in explaining myself...sorry

- I could follow the story, the basics are ok, but it wasn't easy to look at and to follow because of the 'poor' storytelling.

- he wakes up and it's all a dream...is a huge let down, but maybe I didn't understand the story...can you fill me in?

Sorry If I'm sounding to harsh, but these are my original thoughts, I'm not saying that I could do it better :)

For a first short ever it's pretty good, you just need to figure out what you did wrong and then apply what you have learned in a next short...believe me, that one will come out much better, I sense some talent with you guys.

Greetings

ffourier
07-26-2005, 05:07 PM
ok. First of all thank you very much for your replies. And sorry if i can't explain myself it is a little bit difficult for me in english.
It was our first short so we still have so many things to learn. Originally the screeplay was more simple but while time passed, it becames more and more packed. We have added more ideas. But we wanted that it stay comprehensible for kids. I think there is a double level of reading (or watching....). For the kids it is just a monkey who was made steal his peanut by a bird and who awakes of a bad dream.
For the others, it is more complicated. The monkey never lived in the jungle. He reconstituted it thanks to the fresco in its cage, the sign... That's why there is some strange object in te jungle : a strange big tree, bananas of all the colors, peanut, european bird (yes it is difficult to see that :))... the monkey has put the real objects of his cage in his dream... I hope you understand me it is difficult to explain more sorry. For the realization i took us about 2 months on 3ds max 6 (also premiere and photoshop). We have leant very much things with these shorts, and I am convincing that the next will be better.
thanks again for your comments.

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