my entery for june 10sec club

[Arcon]

probably best to post a direct link to the file - i couldn't access it from that page.

[AsaMovshovitz]

thanks,

try this link:

http://www.powow.com/movshovitz/10sec_june_2005_wip.avi

[Topspin]

Hi!

The camera cut is quiet disturbing!
I think you should keep the animation in a whole shot, or you could change the 2nd camera's angle more than 45° in relation to the 1st one.

I think you could take more life to your character too by exagerating his gestuals and his emotion face.

Otherwise the idea is rather funny!

[pollywoggles]

Cool work so far.

Yeah, the camera was distracting, you might want to keep it completely stable. I see a lot of limb movement, might want to focus more on the hips, getting the hips really working. And finally, I think the gestures are cliched -- he says "I'm" and puts hand on chest; he says, "here" and points down. I'd like to see some gestures that define him, that put us inside his experience (like that great final gesture).

But I honestly like the direction you're going with it.

[AsaMovshovitz]

thanks Paul and Didier,
i wasn't very sure about the camera myself, since the gag will work better when i will bulid the envierment then i will see if it is needed.
paul - thanks for being very specific, i work on an animated TV seires and cliched are most of the time fast and easy way out.
cheers to both of you for taking your time and written feedback

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