Animation: My project goes public!! (WIP)

[foodi]

http://www.fastfoodi.com/PROJECT/man_still_LIGHT.jpghttp://www.fastfoodi.com/PROJECT/car_still_LIGHT.jpg
http://www.fastfoodi.com/PROJECT/alley_still_LIGHT.jpg



NOTE: these images have the contrast boosted.

[foodi]

just added a smaller version .mov file.. 22 megs should be more agreeable

[Curia]

The car, first of all, looks really cool, and I like the B+W style. The bricks in the alley seem a bit too shiny to be bricks though. They look a bit too metallic due to the high secular levels. The walk cycle isn't bad, but it's dying for more bounce. If you'll notice, the hips on the character are staying in the same spot, and they are not moving up or down. If you add some bounce to the guy’s hips/center, it will make a tremendous difference to the whole walk. Try running on your own, and see how much your hips move. A good habit to get into is acting out your animations. Good work, post your revised work when you get a chance.

[foodi]

what does a guy have to do to get some replies around here??

[gunslingerblack]

a guy's gotta be patient. i'll give u some critiques. the overall camerawork is pretty good, in the beginning that slow shot where he is running is held a little too long, i would suggest not even entering the car into frame until you have the slow pan down its side and it peeling out, to add more suspense as to what he's running from. also i would suggest the slide part where he finds the "this is not an exit" wall, to change the camera angle, how you made it it looks like the whole scene is tumbling and he's falling down the side of a building or something. the last crit, i know it's a wip but you could give your other guy alittle more emotion when he sees himself driving this car, he kinda just looks at him with a blank expression. give him a look of surprise or somethin as he hits the wall.

keep going

[eyepeefreely]

I think you need to have more arcs in your running character. I looks like you just animated him on one axis. It doesn't look bad, it could just look better, I think.

eye.

[mehdianim]

It's looks pretty good, It just need to be pushed much further. The runcycle I think people have mentioned lacks character. And when he turns around to look at the car he slows down quite a bit, you wouldn't want to do that when you're about to get run over. The part where he slides and looks at the wall slows down the scene, you could cut that shorter because right now we get to the wall and almost forget about the car. Then his run when he goes back to the car needs to be more determined right now it's till too casual. And when he hits the car it should just feel painful, his feet sliding on the ground should have tremendous friction as the ground in an alley is not that slick. he should look like he is struggling to stay above the hood... that kind of stuff. Look at it without the music and try to make it as exciting just by pushing your animation. You can work with the shots you have still as you have more than enough material. Right now I'd cut it a little tighter and tweak animation on the shots you keep.

Good start though, can't wait to see it finished.

[Curia]

i watched your animation again, and when i watch the guy get hit by the car, i feel like i want to see just a bit more strugle. Even though it looks like you might be going for the opposite of that, i still think it would add a little bit more realism; and considering that everything looks real, it should be animated to seem some what real - even if it is impossible for a man to react that way to a speeding car. The point is, you want it to look convincing (the car and it's animation is very convicing). It's a cool concept, and the story is unpredictable, which i really like. I guess the main thing that stands out though is the character animation. Perfect that, and you'll have a really awsome piece.
P.S. Good choice on the music :buttrock:

[FunkyCowie]

Agree with everything said... nice concept let down by animation but it is previz and wip so work on the animation, make it more dynamic... and you'll have a great demoreel piece :)

[Capn_Camo]

Gday man,

I'll cut straight to the point. Your work is pretty good, but there are a few things that really hinder its potential. You seem to have a real talent for modelling, especially for cars, which really gives your piece a strong point. However, there are a few cons which I felt made the concept and the flow of the piece fail in parts.

Firstly the camera work. Some of it is great, some of it is not so great. In the beginning the shot with the dude running down the alleyway is indeed (agreeing with other posts) held for way too long; and when the car finally comes into shot it sort of seems like a lot of time spent for something that could be summed up in literally seconds. What you could do to heighten both the suspense and the idea of fear within the main character is do various cuts in between the car and himself. Have an opening shot of the dude running, maybe stumbling over, looking behind him... cut to a closeup of the car grill with the engine slowly rumbling... cut back to the dude quickly getting back to his feet, running again but still looking back every now and then.... cut to a shot of the steering wheel, the driver's hand tightens its grip around it. See, already you've explained that this car is following him, hunting him if you will, you've used specific camera shots without the need of a pan and you've summed it up in about 10 seconds without the need to show the whole car :). In my opinion I think you should keep the car hidden until it really floors it. By the way, that following camera view of the car speeding down the alleyway is good, it works well.

All I would say is go through and really plan every single shot, even overplan it, so you can kill the odd shot if you dont need it. You've designed a concept which simply installs fear... so try your best to show that through the character and how you follow him. The longer you hold your shots from a long way back, the more ambient and peaceful it looks. If you use rapid (but not too fast) cuts in between the character moving really fast and the car remaining stationary, slowly rumbling... the audience will be on the edge of their seat... really hoping that this guy makes it.

Lastly, I found some irregularities in the delivery of your concept. This came when the dude reaches the end of the alleyway and there are bold letters on the wall saying "this is not an exit". Now personally, I dont know whether you actually intend on having those words printed there or not... but if you are, I'd really advise against it :scream: - even if its for a W.I.P. The last thing you want to do is spoon feed the audience. The flat wall is fine on its own, without the whole "dead end sign" dealio hehe.

All in all you've made a good attempt and I can tell it's only going to keep getting better as you go. I personally cannot wait to see the final rendered film with the dude in the badass shelby :buttrock: hehe.

Good luck in the future, and ill be sure to check back to see how much this flick keeps on rocking!

[foodi]

thanks a lot for all the comments , guys..
appreciate it a lot


ill keep them in mind hopefuly , do some more tweaking as soon as i can


as for the "this is not an exit" sign..

that was a little American Psycho reference. heheh

i dont really think its spoonfeeding the audience.. its pretty obvious..
and i think its not something that would be printed on a dead end wall like that anyway..

ordinarily, it would just be a wall.. and thats that

as for the complaints about the first shot being too long.. i think the wire frame aspect of it really spoils the effect.. in the rendered shots.. we see the alley slowly get lit up by the approachiing car's headlights..

thats why i held it for so long..

another thing. since its pretty dark, i thought the audience would need some time to get accustomed to the darkness after seeing the overexposed sky.

also, in the render, the man disappears into darkness.. so i think the shot does build a little suspense.. and is not just a shot of the guy running with nothing else happening.


once again.. thanks for the crits (and the compliments) !

ps. its not a shelby. its a '67 charger :)

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